Extreme fatigue after social gatherings

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The_Walrus
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27 May 2013, 3:09 pm

(I wasn't sure if this was the correct forum- if this is moved, could the moderator in question please PM me? Also, I realised just before I submitted that this could come across as a humblebrag, but it really wasn't intended that way)

So I went to the 18th birthday party of one of my friends on Friday. I found the first hour or so very stressful and was contemplating going home. I was experiencing sensory overload because of all the noise, the loud music, the fairly large amount of people crammed into a small space. I was moving between quiet areas, sipping water, avoiding talking to people as much as possible, and going to the toilet regularly to get some peace. As I said, I was strongly considering going home, but this was going to be the last chance I would have to socialise with many of these people, so I decided to stay. Rather than moping, I danced around like a lunatic for a bit in order to get my endorphins going, and it pretty much worked. Then whenever I started to get overwhelmed, I would dance for a bit.

Anyway, I was home for midnight, and in bed by half past, but I was very tired when I woke up the next morning, and I ended up sleeping until 5pm. I was still tired then. The tiredness seemed disproportional to the amount of exercise I had done, and I have later nights than that fairly regularly.

Does anyone else get this kind of extreme fatigue after social situations? Do you have any techniques for minimising it when leaving isn't an option (usually I would have left)? Is it something you get used to with time? Thanks for your responses.



Vectorspace
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27 May 2013, 4:14 pm

Very well-known. Everything that involves people (worse: unknown people) is tiring for me.
It's less bad if the situation is similar to one that I had experienced before, and if I know most of the people. Otherwise, no, I don't get used to it.



AgentPalpatine
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27 May 2013, 4:37 pm

I'm not a neuroscientists, so I can't explain in detail.

As I understand it, the levels of some brain chemicals(?) reach a point after stressful activities, and most people need time to recover. Social anxiety, particularly when exposed to the enviroment described above, would probably meet that threshold.

Again, as I understand the concepts. Someone with more knowledge of the matter can correct me.


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The_Walrus
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27 May 2013, 5:07 pm

Vectorspace wrote:
Very well-known. Everything that involves people (worse: unknown people) is tiring for me.
It's less bad if the situation is similar to one that I had experienced before, and if I know most of the people. Otherwise, no, I don't get used to it.

I knew the vast majority of people there- I don't think I would have been able to stand being in that situation with strangers! I can cope with fairly small groups (10-15 members) comprised largely of strangers, but 40 or 50 would be a nightmare.

I've only been to three parties of this ilk before. Two were much smaller (I left one fairly quickly and stayed at the other for many hours), one was similar in size to this one but I left after 2 hours. I remember being tired after the long, small one. I am thinking that smaller groups allow me to enjoy myself more, but length is more important for fatigue.

Possible strategy: enjoy the party quickly, make the most of it, leave reasonably promptly.



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27 May 2013, 5:12 pm

I think that this is a common problem. My solution is simple, just remember that old joke. If it hurts when you do that, don't do that! I simply try to minimize my contact with other people and especially avoid large groups. It's the only solution that I've found.


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27 May 2013, 7:24 pm

I think I can dig what the OP said- I went to seattle folklife this past Saturday, and for the past two days I've slept at least 10 hours each day. I guess it took it out of me, the noise and crowds and complexity.



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27 May 2013, 8:27 pm

Yeah, I can get fatigued quite easily depending on the environment.

Speech from crowds, temperatures, general noise, bright light, strong smells, being under due stress and so on has this culminate affect that gets me very worn out.

Trying to do anything physical when fatigued, like cleaning house or trying to cook easily breaks me out in a sweat.

When in busier environments, my functional pace slows down (like walking or doing things) to compensate for energy lost when processing all that stimulation.


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cathylynn
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27 May 2013, 8:35 pm

I used to have a full-time people job. the only day I was worth anything was Monday. I like people, but being around them too much drains me.



The_Walrus
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29 May 2013, 7:33 am

AspieWolf wrote:
I think that this is a common problem. My solution is simple, just remember that old joke. If it hurts when you do that, don't do that! I simply try to minimize my contact with other people and especially avoid large groups. It's the only solution that I've found.

It's certainly not something I'd like to do particularly often, but some aspects of social gatherings can be enjoyable, and sometimes you have some sort of duty to go (if it is an event for a close friend or family member). But yes, I think ducking out where possible can be a good move.



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29 May 2013, 11:41 am

I think mindfulness can help you tune out overwhelming noises and people. Just concentrate on your body and breathing - without looking really weird- and you can find you can stand to be around more people and noise.

Nts really hate it when we don't want to socialise like most of them - so I find it best to spend at least some time with them - especially colleagues who can think you are snubbing them if you don't spend any time with them. :roll: :roll:



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29 May 2013, 8:53 pm

I always referred to it as "emotional exhaustion".
I find that it's a different kind of fatigue than I get after physical activity; it's not as positive. If I spend a day on the golf course, I come home and can relax feeling pretty good about myself. Whereas, if it's "emotional exhaustion" (like being around people all day), I can't turn off the mental treadmill and I'm ancy and tense. Although I'm tired, I can't relax. It's a strange phenomenon...


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Liane
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30 May 2013, 12:33 pm

I agree, I feel the same way. I think we need to recharge our batteries more.



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30 May 2013, 3:05 pm

Liane wrote:
I agree, I feel the same way. I think we need to recharge our batteries more.

QFT :idea:



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30 May 2013, 5:23 pm

Unfortunately, dancing is not always appropriate but neither are any other stims. Any ideas on secret stims or an apologetic way to explain obvious stims?



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30 May 2013, 5:36 pm

Knofskia wrote:
Unfortunately, dancing is not always appropriate but neither are any other stims. Any ideas on secret stims or an apologetic way to explain obvious stims?

gee, that reminds me of an old stan freburg comedy routine called "the lone psychiatrist" [parody of The Lone Ranger]-
Q="say, how come your mask has a little bitty glass window in it?"
A="because on my lunch hour I like to go skin-diving."
Q="ok, i'll accept that."

aside from that little bit of comedy, I could only suggest that, when somebody asks about a particular physical behavior on your part, you could simply deny that you were doing anything, and as long as there were no actual witnesses to your stim, it would just make the other person look delusional. :lol:



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30 May 2013, 8:14 pm

auntblabby wrote:
Knofskia wrote:
Unfortunately, dancing is not always appropriate but neither are any other stims. Any ideas on secret stims or an apologetic way to explain obvious stims?

gee, that reminds me of an old stan freburg comedy routine called "the lone psychiatrist" [parody of The Lone Ranger]-
Q="say, how come your mask has a little bitty glass window in it?"
A="because on my lunch hour I like to go skin-diving."
Q="ok, i'll accept that."

aside from that little bit of comedy, I could only suggest that, when somebody asks about a particular physical behavior on your part, you could simply deny that you were doing anything, and as long as there were no actual witnesses to your stim, it would just make the other person look delusional. :lol:


This is brilliant.


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