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blackicmenace
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26 May 2020, 4:18 pm

I am ashamed to say that I let jealousy get the best of me when I was young and in love and was lucky in that I wrecked my bike on the way to a rival's house which kept me from doing something even more reckless. I like to think that now that I am older I can recognize and dismiss that emotion for what it is, destructive, reckless and irrational.


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DesertWoman
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28 Sep 2020, 10:48 pm

No. I'm pretty, but I'm nerdy, and guys usually make fun of me, or stay away. I wish I could use my intelligence to run a corporation or something, but it will never happen.

I know some girls with ASD choose to become strippers. I guess that's a good way to embrace one's allure and femininity, and I'm sure men fight over strippers. Or not. I've never been into that lifestyle, so I can't say much more about it. I just met a man once who told me that his ex-girlfriend with ASD was a stripper. Hey, it's performance art, and I give her credit for finding and keeping a job.


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Caz72
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01 Oct 2020, 12:01 pm

yes my husband has actually got into a physical fight before cos some guy kept flirting with me

guys used to both verbally and physically fight over me when iwas young as well


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kdm1984
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03 Oct 2020, 1:42 pm

DesertWoman wrote:
No. I'm pretty, but I'm nerdy, and guys usually make fun of me, or stay away. I wish I could use my intelligence to run a corporation or something, but it will never happen.

I know some girls with ASD choose to become strippers. I guess that's a good way to embrace one's allure and femininity, and I'm sure men fight over strippers. Or not. I've never been into that lifestyle, so I can't say much more about it. I just met a man once who told me that his ex-girlfriend with ASD was a stripper. Hey, it's performance art, and I give her credit for finding and keeping a job.


Same here -- nerdy women seem to not attract most types of men. My husband loves me, and finds me attractive, but he never has to fight over me. Men are usually attracted to more feminine, fun-loving sorts. The nerdier, more serious, and even more tomboyish you are, the less men in general will be drawn to you. Being super-logical is intimidating to most of them; they know they cannot manipulate you through traditional emotional means. And looking more masculine and nerdy is also a turn-off; they prefer the blond, stripper, bubbly, busty sorts.


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funeralxempire
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03 Oct 2020, 2:14 pm

Whale_Tuune wrote:
Fight over me? Lol. How many guys would be interested in me to begin with?


Whale_Tuune wrote:

Yes, ugh. If I so much as look at a guy a few times he starts acting weird.


Based on your pic you're really pretty, and based on your posts you're quite intelligent and charismatic so the perceived lack of interest might be (unintentional) intimidation; guys basically not expressing the slightest sign of interest out of the assumption of rejection. The ones who pick up on (unintentional, possibly even nonexistent) signs of interest go gaga because they're excited that someone they view as having high value is unexpectedly interested (even if you're not actually).

tl;dr - it's not because you lack appeal; it's because they don't know how to express it or how to properly connect with you

That 'failing to understand how to connect' seems to happen a lot for folks with ASD I've discussed this sort of stuff with. Folks needing to connect with people with ASD, as well as folks with ASD needing to connect to others often seem to just not be able to figure it out, leading to missing interest, misinterpretation interest and otherwise making finding and maintaining relationships harder than it needs to be, or at least harder than many other people find it.


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RightGalaxy
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06 Oct 2020, 8:39 pm

I wish...