Page 3 of 4 [ 49 posts ]  Go to page Previous  1, 2, 3, 4  Next

blackicmenace
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 28 Nov 2016
Age: 46
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,465
Location: Sagittarius A

26 May 2020, 4:18 pm

I am ashamed to say that I let jealousy get the best of me when I was young and in love and was lucky in that I wrecked my bike on the way to a rival's house which kept me from doing something even more reckless. I like to think that now that I am older I can recognize and dismiss that emotion for what it is, destructive, reckless and irrational.


_________________
Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.” ― Bertrand Russell


DesertWoman
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

Joined: 13 Sep 2020
Gender: Female
Posts: 136
Location: Las Vegas, NV

28 Sep 2020, 10:48 pm

No. I'm pretty, but I'm nerdy, and guys usually make fun of me, or stay away. I wish I could use my intelligence to run a corporation or something, but it will never happen.

I know some girls with ASD choose to become strippers. I guess that's a good way to embrace one's allure and femininity, and I'm sure men fight over strippers. Or not. I've never been into that lifestyle, so I can't say much more about it. I just met a man once who told me that his ex-girlfriend with ASD was a stripper. Hey, it's performance art, and I give her credit for finding and keeping a job.



Caz72
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2013
Age: 51
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,394
Location: England

01 Oct 2020, 12:01 pm

yes my husband has actually got into a physical fight before cos some guy kept flirting with me

guys used to both verbally and physically fight over me when iwas young as well


_________________
Have diagnosis of autism.
Have a neurotypical son.


kdm1984
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 31 May 2012
Gender: Female
Posts: 443
Location: SW MO, USA

03 Oct 2020, 1:42 pm

DesertWoman wrote:
No. I'm pretty, but I'm nerdy, and guys usually make fun of me, or stay away. I wish I could use my intelligence to run a corporation or something, but it will never happen.

I know some girls with ASD choose to become strippers. I guess that's a good way to embrace one's allure and femininity, and I'm sure men fight over strippers. Or not. I've never been into that lifestyle, so I can't say much more about it. I just met a man once who told me that his ex-girlfriend with ASD was a stripper. Hey, it's performance art, and I give her credit for finding and keeping a job.


Same here -- nerdy women seem to not attract most types of men. My husband loves me, and finds me attractive, but he never has to fight over me. Men are usually attracted to more feminine, fun-loving sorts. The nerdier, more serious, and even more tomboyish you are, the less men in general will be drawn to you. Being super-logical is intimidating to most of them; they know they cannot manipulate you through traditional emotional means. And looking more masculine and nerdy is also a turn-off; they prefer the blond, stripper, bubbly, busty sorts.


_________________
36 yr old female; dx age 29. Level 2 Aspie.


funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,461
Location: Right over your left shoulder

03 Oct 2020, 2:14 pm

Whale_Tuune wrote:
Fight over me? Lol. How many guys would be interested in me to begin with?


Whale_Tuune wrote:

Yes, ugh. If I so much as look at a guy a few times he starts acting weird.


Based on your pic you're really pretty, and based on your posts you're quite intelligent and charismatic so the perceived lack of interest might be (unintentional) intimidation; guys basically not expressing the slightest sign of interest out of the assumption of rejection. The ones who pick up on (unintentional, possibly even nonexistent) signs of interest go gaga because they're excited that someone they view as having high value is unexpectedly interested (even if you're not actually).

tl;dr - it's not because you lack appeal; it's because they don't know how to express it or how to properly connect with you

That 'failing to understand how to connect' seems to happen a lot for folks with ASD I've discussed this sort of stuff with. Folks needing to connect with people with ASD, as well as folks with ASD needing to connect to others often seem to just not be able to figure it out, leading to missing interest, misinterpretation interest and otherwise making finding and maintaining relationships harder than it needs to be, or at least harder than many other people find it.


_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


RightGalaxy
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 Dec 2008
Age: 63
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,145

06 Oct 2020, 8:39 pm

I wish...



Steffipanda
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 22 Nov 2020
Age: 37
Gender: Female
Posts: 456
Location: US

29 Dec 2020, 1:24 am

No



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

29 Dec 2020, 5:32 am

RightGalaxy wrote:
I wish...


Me too!. 8O



Whale_Tuune
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Apr 2018
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 598
Location: Narnia

29 Dec 2020, 9:10 am

funeralxempire wrote:
Whale_Tuune wrote:
Fight over me? Lol. How many guys would be interested in me to begin with?


Whale_Tuune wrote:

Yes, ugh. If I so much as look at a guy a few times he starts acting weird.


Based on your pic you're really pretty, and based on your posts you're quite intelligent and charismatic so the perceived lack of interest might be (unintentional) intimidation; guys basically not expressing the slightest sign of interest out of the assumption of rejection. The ones who pick up on (unintentional, possibly even nonexistent) signs of interest go gaga because they're excited that someone they view as having high value is unexpectedly interested (even if you're not actually).

tl;dr - it's not because you lack appeal; it's because they don't know how to express it or how to properly connect with you

That 'failing to understand how to connect' seems to happen a lot for folks with ASD I've discussed this sort of stuff with. Folks needing to connect with people with ASD, as well as folks with ASD needing to connect to others often seem to just not be able to figure it out, leading to missing interest, misinterpretation interest and otherwise making finding and maintaining relationships harder than it needs to be, or at least harder than many other people find it.


I have been told this before at times, but it doesn't really matter. I've been mocked enough by others that I would not stick out my neck to convey interest in someone, and if I can't pick up interest, well...


_________________
AQ: 36 (last I checked :p)


funeralxempire
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Oct 2014
Age: 39
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 25,461
Location: Right over your left shoulder

29 Dec 2020, 1:03 pm

Whale_Tuune wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Whale_Tuune wrote:
Fight over me? Lol. How many guys would be interested in me to begin with?


Whale_Tuune wrote:

Yes, ugh. If I so much as look at a guy a few times he starts acting weird.


Based on your pic you're really pretty, and based on your posts you're quite intelligent and charismatic so the perceived lack of interest might be (unintentional) intimidation; guys basically not expressing the slightest sign of interest out of the assumption of rejection. The ones who pick up on (unintentional, possibly even nonexistent) signs of interest go gaga because they're excited that someone they view as having high value is unexpectedly interested (even if you're not actually).

tl;dr - it's not because you lack appeal; it's because they don't know how to express it or how to properly connect with you

That 'failing to understand how to connect' seems to happen a lot for folks with ASD I've discussed this sort of stuff with. Folks needing to connect with people with ASD, as well as folks with ASD needing to connect to others often seem to just not be able to figure it out, leading to missing interest, misinterpretation interest and otherwise making finding and maintaining relationships harder than it needs to be, or at least harder than many other people find it.


I have been told this before at times, but it doesn't really matter. I've been mocked enough by others that I would not stick out my neck to convey interest in someone, and if I can't pick up interest, well...


Yeah, having that insight hasn't helped me much either. At best it keeps me from starting a new 'girls don't like me why not' thread in L&D every few months since I've already gotten an answer. Here's to being alone.


_________________
Watching liberals try to solve societal problems without a systemic critique/class consciousness is like watching someone in the dark try to flip on the light switch, but they keep turning on the garbage disposal instead.
戦争ではなく戦争と戦う


rottingpetal
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

Joined: 9 Aug 2020
Age: 29
Gender: Female
Posts: 40

08 Jan 2021, 2:03 am

That sounds wild!

Not physically fight but verbally. Very interesting, but petty.



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

08 Jan 2021, 6:09 am

Is this another thread that has been moved into the Woman's forum? :roll:



Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

08 Jan 2021, 6:12 am

Whale_Tuune wrote:
funeralxempire wrote:
Whale_Tuune wrote:
Fight over me? Lol. How many guys would be interested in me to begin with?


Whale_Tuune wrote:

Yes, ugh. If I so much as look at a guy a few times he starts acting weird.


Based on your pic you're really pretty, and based on your posts you're quite intelligent and charismatic so the perceived lack of interest might be (unintentional) intimidation; guys basically not expressing the slightest sign of interest out of the assumption of rejection. The ones who pick up on (unintentional, possibly even nonexistent) signs of interest go gaga because they're excited that someone they view as having high value is unexpectedly interested (even if you're not actually).

tl;dr - it's not because you lack appeal; it's because they don't know how to express it or how to properly connect with you

That 'failing to understand how to connect' seems to happen a lot for folks with ASD I've discussed this sort of stuff with. Folks needing to connect with people with ASD, as well as folks with ASD needing to connect to others often seem to just not be able to figure it out, leading to missing interest, misinterpretation interest and otherwise making finding and maintaining relationships harder than it needs to be, or at least harder than many other people find it.


I have been told this before at times, but it doesn't really matter. I've been mocked enough by others that I would not stick out my neck to convey interest in someone, and if I can't pick up interest, well...


You are very attractive.
You are very intelligent.
I have no idea why you have problems. :scratch:



Whale_Tuune
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Apr 2018
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 598
Location: Narnia

08 Jan 2021, 6:45 pm

Asperger's, Pepe, Asperger's.

Tbh, complications surrounding HFA are going to be less evident online than irl. And younger people as a whole tend towards being very judgmental, so... it isn't a fun time.


_________________
AQ: 36 (last I checked :p)


Pepe
Veteran
Veteran

Joined: 11 Jun 2013
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 26,635
Location: Australia

09 Jan 2021, 1:28 am

Whale_Tuune wrote:
Asperger's, Pepe, Asperger's.

Tbh, complications surrounding HFA are going to be less evident online than irl. And younger people as a whole tend towards being very judgmental, so... it isn't a fun time.


People in your church group mock you also?
I'm assuming you have one.
I am surprised you can't find a nice young guy there.

What about going to Autism groups in commuting distance, coronavirus willing?
Are there any?

You have so much to offer.
Don't be disheartened.

A lot of people have a problem with others giving advice.
I hope I am not out of line, here.



Whale_Tuune
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 27 Apr 2018
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 598
Location: Narnia

09 Jan 2021, 10:38 am

Nah, people in my Church group are nice but few are in my age range. It's teens on the one end, early thirties on another, a few early twenties when you get to broader events, but I haven't really met anyone who I clicked with and who was not taken at those events.


_________________
AQ: 36 (last I checked :p)