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sderenzi
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18 Jan 2007, 7:40 pm

"It's simple, it's clear, it's concise. I never could live without it." ~ Me

So you like a female, you would like to ask her out but don't know exactly how. I'm going to tell you the right way, the only way, because Aspie's want something very different than everyone else, we want respect, commitment, and courtesy.

Step 1 - Identify the female

What you choose depends not on the woman but on the interest you have in one. If you can't find a female you desire mating with it won't work, she must clearly be attractive to you.

Step 2 - Choose a course of action

To get the females attention is your primary concern, believe me when I say she won't ever notice you, or if she does her mind will be on other things. (ex: boyfriend, friends, makeup, clothes) I was talked with in school by females, during assignments, etc... never did any of them say they liked me, or ask about me personally.

Step 3 - The note

Best method for getting the female to understand things is through a note. If she can't accept a written thing from you then things are to fargone for her ever to take you seriously, or bang you. Make a list of what you'd like, telling the woman that you was wondering if she desires similar stuff. Ask her to write you back... faced with your desires she'll either become attracted to you or think you're sick and strange for wanting them.

Step 4 - If once she gets this note she wants to get to know you, well, allow it but make clear rules about association together. If she tells you "oh let's just hang out at school" this means "I'll let you be around me, but on my terms, and only at school". Basically you will never get her into a more intimate setting, it's pointless. She really is only keeping you around for entertainment, or to not be alone with herself (since she secretly is repulsed by even her own femaleness).

Step 5 - If once she gets this note she says to leave her alone, well, allow it but make clear you really like her in a final note and say "It was my hope you might let me get to know more about you, but I respect your choice and shalln't communicate any further with you the matter."

That's some of what I'd do, anyone else got ideas about how to go about it?



Seigneur
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18 Jan 2007, 8:58 pm

Notes are a bad idea. They come off as creepy, wimpy, and a bunch of other negative things all at the same time.

But... has this worked for you?



Starbuline
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18 Jan 2007, 9:22 pm

I think if you like someone, try to be yourself and don't get too detailed with it.



Shale
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18 Jan 2007, 9:38 pm

Hm... not too sure about the clinical approach in regards to it all :? That's just not very sexy... lol...

Often a strong relationship is founded on friendship first. These relationships can be far easier to manage than simply having a female for mating purposes.

And an easy way to make a friend? Ask them something about themselves (eg: 'So I see you like FRIENDS *glancing at picture from TV show stuck on folder*, who's your favourite character?' Or in my case, 'Nice Subaru, which version STi is it? Does it go fast?'...something clearly appropriate and relevant to the person) and let them banter on about it. Ever feel like the people that listen to you are really nice? :) Same works in return...don't talk so much, let them talk, and they'll think you're awesome.

Make sure you have something in common with them...after all when you're done in the sack you'll want something to talk about the rest of the day :)

Letting a gal know your true feelings is the hardest part! You know, when we gals like someone, we often like to linger fairly close or stare (if we're not making the first move, like a bit of arse-groping ;))...if she likes being alone with you, walks REALLY close to you, stares into your eyes, giggles when you say funny stuff, etc...there's a fairly high chance she's smitten :)

And I agree with the note thing. NO. Don't. Unless you WANT to look like a stalker ;D Personally guys that front up and tell me their feelings, or alternatively actually flirt. (That is, being somewhat suggestive...suggesting you find her attractive and want some, really...lol...) So far my relationships have been the two of us being horny towards each other, then after a while deciding that heck, this should be official...:lol:

Step one...be her friend. Choose her for her interests (same or similar to yours) and looks if that's important to you. Step two, grow comfortable in her presence, let her grow used to you. Step three, be on the lookout for signs she likes you too :) Step four, if it all looks good...talk to her, give her a gift, and if you really must, go the note way...but that may not be as impressive as you think. Oh, and use that loaded term 'Be Yourself'...women aren't in for an actor, but a man. Don't do whatever you please (that's not what be yourself means), but don't pretend to be someone else. Don't hide behind a facade. Be nice, friendly (but not so friendly she thinks that's all you are...been in that situation as the gal and my bob does it suck) and don't be too afraid of rejection :)



AnonymousAnonymous
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18 Jan 2007, 10:32 pm

Don't do the note or watching thing! I have tried that & it got me in a lot of trouble at school!

Ass grabbing=Bad!
Flirting=Really Bad!

If you want to talk to a girl, learn where she usually goes & go with her so that she will consider you to be a good friend to her. Try that. It works!



Stinkypuppy
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18 Jan 2007, 10:57 pm

to the original poster:

do you consider these suggestions as better than the stickied thread in this same forum (the AlphaMale one)? Just wondering what your opinion of the AlphaMale guide is.


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biostructure
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19 Jan 2007, 1:08 am

Shale wrote:
Make sure you have something in common with them...after all when you're done in the sack you'll want something to talk about the rest of the day :)


That's if you want a relationship in which you are together all day, rather than one in which you give each other space to do your own things. The latter is much more enticing to me.



biostructure
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19 Jan 2007, 1:20 am

sderenzi wrote:
Step 2 - Choose a course of action

To get the females attention is your primary concern, believe me when I say she won't ever notice you, or if she does her mind will be on other things. (ex: boyfriend, friends, makeup, clothes) I was talked with in school by females, during assignments, etc... never did any of them say they liked me, or ask about me personally.


I don't agree that girls/women never notice us. I think that if they are attracted to us they will notice us, just as we notice them. I've had several girls in high school seem to notice me and be interested in me. I think that just walking up to them and asking questions (about themselves, not about homework, where something is, etc.) is much better than giving notes, unless you fear being so awkward face-to-face that you will repel her immediately.

I think the most difficult thing for me is to communicate (without going into a long speech about my interests or academic accomplishments) that I am someone special and unique (in a good way) to make me stand apart from all the other guys who are likely to have talked to her that day.



sderenzi
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19 Jan 2007, 1:20 am

Stinkypuppy wrote:
to the original poster:

do you consider these suggestions as better than the stickied thread in this same forum (the AlphaMale one)? Just wondering what your opinion of the AlphaMale guide is.


I did not see your stickey, I am new and haven't had a chance to read all stickeys on the forum yet. I've been busy moping about my lack of a girlfriend, thinking back to the past when I was bullied, and generally talking computer things.

Your stickey is good, nothing wrong there. I just don't like games, and I ad a girl recently named Carmen I liked. After knowing her for around 6 months and trying my best to get to know her, see if I like her, and maybe finding out if she wanted a romance, well.. it bombed. See she had 3 kids when I met her, and she approached me initially. I was quite happy with the fact any girl would even talk to me, and at first it seemed nice. Later she'd come around during her work (we work in different buildings) and say hi. We played cards together, had lunch, etc. Sometime passed and I really did make my interest clear at first, then let it simmer down.

It was hope she'd find a desire somewhere to be closer, more than mere friends. I knew I could only last for so long with her, I am not capable of only being friends with a female, especially because I'm lonely :-( I gave her 6 months, and we really spent only 2 days together outside of work. The rest of that time was only at work, and instead of getting to know me personally as I was her she instead only asked me for things. At first it was little things, maps between stuff, then later money. She eventually gave back the 100 bucks I'd loaned her, but only after I tried breaking things off. She must've thought I was mad she hadn't repaid it, oh well :-Z

So I gave her another chance when I found out she'd been in the hospital for depression, but then I found out she was dating this much older man Salvador, and I kinda felt sick. I knew him, he works there as well (in the building somewhere). I knew of their relationship, and at first they were just friends. Later I knew either she'd be interested in me or him, and I never force things on anyone so let them develop naturally.

She decided he was more her style, slept with him, and for 1 month we chatted off an on at work. I never asked what she was up to, or if she was dating, I let her have the freedom to decide. I'd already made myself clear earlier, and I never precisely said my intentions were FRIEND ONLY. She was married, but divorcing him.... so anyway I basically tried my best and failed. I did invest alot of energy into her, and the payoff was the company of a somewhat nice lady. The trade however was I knew 80% of her life and she only 20% of mine.

Why didn't I ever ask her out? Because I've made it point never to interfere in the lives of other people. I gave her my company, and in exchange asked only that she not go off mating with other men. In that time she slept with her pre-ex (before her husband) and this new guy Salvador. She really didn't see I cared about her, these others must really be something cuz they all abandoned her an she's pretty much back with her husband now.

I feel good and bad at the same time, it was the first time I've had any kind of relationship with a woman ever. It was fun, then upsetting, but mostly fun. I just didn't have the strength to be with her as a friend, and I wrote a note explaining things very nicely I thought. She never did write me anything even though i'd written her like 4 notes in all since I've known her. It's kinda depressing :( Am I not worth 1 note saying hi I like ya?



Stinkypuppy
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19 Jan 2007, 8:49 am

That's not my stickied thread, that's DataSage's. I have nothing to do with it. :?


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19 Jan 2007, 2:33 pm

My list:
1: Accept that you have absolutely no social skills at all, that you're an undereducated guy on welfare that only wants sex and then kick the woman out and that you can just forget it.



Atomika
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19 Jan 2007, 4:18 pm

sderenzi wrote:
"It's simple, it's clear, it's concise. I never could live without it." ~ Me

So you like a female, you would like to ask her out but don't know exactly how. I'm going to tell you the right way, the only way, because Aspie's want something very different than everyone else, we want respect, commitment, and courtesy.

Step 1 - Identify the female

What you choose depends not on the woman but on the interest you have in one. If you can't find a female you desire mating with it won't work, she must clearly be attractive to you.

Step 2 - Choose a course of action

To get the females attention is your primary concern, believe me when I say she won't ever notice you, or if she does her mind will be on other things. (ex: boyfriend, friends, makeup, clothes) I was talked with in school by females, during assignments, etc... never did any of them say they liked me, or ask about me personally.

Step 3 - The note

Best method for getting the female to understand things is through a note. If she can't accept a written thing from you then things are to fargone for her ever to take you seriously, or bang you. Make a list of what you'd like, telling the woman that you was wondering if she desires similar stuff. Ask her to write you back... faced with your desires she'll either become attracted to you or think you're sick and strange for wanting them.

Step 4 - If once she gets this note she wants to get to know you, well, allow it but make clear rules about association together. If she tells you "oh let's just hang out at school" this means "I'll let you be around me, but on my terms, and only at school". Basically you will never get her into a more intimate setting, it's pointless. She really is only keeping you around for entertainment, or to not be alone with herself (since she secretly is repulsed by even her own femaleness).

Step 5 - If once she gets this note she says to leave her alone, well, allow it but make clear you really like her in a final note and say "It was my hope you might let me get to know more about you, but I respect your choice and shalln't communicate any further with you the matter."

That's some of what I'd do, anyone else got ideas about how to go about it?


Well, I don't think you need to be that complicated. If you want a girl, the most important thing to have is confidence. The second most important thing you need to do is to let her know you are interested in her, but restrain yourself to being casual about it.



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19 Jan 2007, 4:37 pm

If a woman left me a note I'd think she was too creepy and needy to come and speak to me in person. I know I don't have great social skills but even I would never do that. :)



sderenzi
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19 Jan 2007, 4:42 pm

If a female giveth me a note I love her forever, that just how I am :Z~



Seigneur
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19 Jan 2007, 5:26 pm

Tequila wrote:
If a woman left me a note I'd think she was too creepy and needy to come and speak to me in person. I know I don't have great social skills but even I would never do that. :)

Really? I'd think that she wanted to make fun of me but used a note because she wouldn't be able to keep a straight face otherwise.



Shale
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20 Jan 2007, 5:22 pm

biostructure wrote:
Shale wrote:
Make sure you have something in common with them...after all when you're done in the sack you'll want something to talk about the rest of the day :)


That's if you want a relationship in which you are together all day, rather than one in which you give each other space to do your own things. The latter is much more enticing to me.


Not necessarily...I work all day during the week, don't see my boy a heck of a lot...mostly in the weekends. Communication is still important in any level of relationship. If you don't have anything in common aside from your crotches then that's a different kind of relationship altogether. Besides, for two people to be more than aquaintences, there needs to be SOMETHING in common ;)

By something to talk about all day, I actually mean when you're NOT having sex :D Not necessarily every living breathing moment...