In what ways do we not fit the typical HFA/aspie profile?

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I am atypical because....

I can make eye contact easily once I know someone well and feel comfortable. I do have people talk to me about staring at times.

I am a girl

I can handle social situations if, and only if, they never go past dictated relationships. Job interviews do not bother me because it is basically scripted for me. They ask and then I answer. Once I actually have to get to know people is where I run into trouble.

I'm actually pretty typical though.

I'm not a stereotypical Aspie at all. I'm a typical anxious person though, people can see right through my anxiety whether they know me or not, but a person can have an anxiety disorder without having AS, and vice-versa. So that doesn't give the AS away.

1. I do not obliviously do odd/unusual things in public like dress unstylish, or do any stimming that draws attention

2. I don't always have trouble relating to others. I can generally understand other people, although people don't always understand me. But that depends sometimes, people do sometimes understanding me, especially when just doing small talk. I seem to be better understood by men than what I do women.

3. I can recognise non-verbal cues like body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, etc. So I can ''read'' emotions of other people, and I can also understand jokes, sarcasm, banter, etc.

4. I do not lack empathy. I can sometimes feel how other people are feeling, and I can understand how someone must have been feeling in a situation they are describing to me. I often say ''I bet you must have felt [insert emotion here]'', and they go, ''yeah, I did.''

5. I have a good sense of humour and can relate to other people's humour a lot of the time (depending on the type of humour and the context, some humour gets on my nerves but that can depend on the person too).

6. I am not a maths or science geek. Science was my worst subject at school, and I didn't mind maths but I was one of the worst students in school at maths and it will always be a weakness of mine. I was so bad at those two subjects that ironically the other average children seemed like maths and science geeks to me, because they seemed to be able to get the work done with only using a small amount of help, where as I needed one-to-one teaching for hours 'til I could finally get it.

7. I am not honest. In fact I think I lie more than the average person. Sometimes I notice others say what's currently on their mind (if it's relavent), but I often find myself keeping quiet because I can't be bothered. But that may be a form of shyness, not dishonesty. But I don't offend people easily, I always know how to respond to someone without blurting out something offensive. I also don't say offensive things and know it's offensive but say it anyway to prove a ''I am not lying'' point. That's because I can imagine how I would feel myself if that was said to me and that I would prefer to be lied to in this certain context, so I do the same to others.

8. I did dramatic play as a child; I made toy characters interact with each other. In fact I did it a lot, and it's what I miss about being a child. Now I'll feel silly if I was caught playing with toys.

9. I am not a logical thinker. In fact I'm the opposite; extremely illogical, and irrational.

10. I can express my opinions, thoughts and feelings. I can also feel emotion and know what's what. I can also feel physical sensations, like hunger, thirst, tiredness, temperature, etc.

11. I am very verbal when I have meltdowns. I don't just go away and rock in a corner. Never have done, even as a very small child.

12. I am not sensitive to light, smells, taste or touch. I prefer a well lit room (natural or electrical), I don't smell things as good as other people, I am fussy with food but not because of sensitivity, and I like being touched. I'm only hypersensitive to certain sounds.

There's probably a zillion more but I will leave it for now otherwise I could go on forever.

I pretty much fit all the Aspie stereotypes except I'm not a "geek" or a "nerd" and I don't have a monotone voice. However, my father and brother certainly are stereotypical geeks! That's why I was absolutely blown away when I learned about Aspergers past the surface label of "geek syndrome" (I originally suspected my brother since he works in an Aspie environment). Very few WP members are more Aspie than me, yet since I work full time I can't get a diagnosis. Oh well I know I 'm an Aspie and I think everyone at work knew years ago.

It's actually eerie when I first read a detailed book on Asperger Syndrome. It was literally like reading my own autobiography, right down to the "as a child, refuses to eat foods that touch each other". I literally thought I was the only one on Earth who did that I was told as such over and over growing up. I also never heard of 'echolalia' either but I was told over and over again I whisper the last few words of a sentence as a child and teenager.

I usually identify my Aspie self as ''nervous wreck syndrome''.

Ways in which I am like a stereotypical autistic person:

*I had a speech delay.
*My social skills are poor when compared to neurotypicals.
*I am good at mathematics.
*I daydream excessively.
*Sometimes I keep myself to myself.
*I love animals.
*I cry easily.
*I easily pick up computers and technology.
*Poor fine motor skills.
*I think in a way which does not relate with the real world.
*I am very blunt.
*I easily pick up foreign languages.
*I run about at home (a stimming behaviour).

Ways in which I am different from a stereotypical autistic person:

*I prefer having people around me than being alone.
*I am okay with change. I like change.
*I do not speak with unusual volume or intonation.
*I'm not really a genius.
*I do not need much support in school.
*I have no obsessions.
*I don't mind loud noises.
*I can make eye contact appropriately.
*I can recognise non-verbal cues.
*I care about what I look like.
*I can't hyperfocus. I tend to study the whole picture.
*I enjoy sports (although I'm bad at them!)
*I prefer fiction to non-fiction.
*I like wearing fashion, keeping up with trends.
*I don't lack empathy.
*I am not 'shy'.
*In groupwork, I usually play the role as a 'leader'.
*I love cuddles!
*I completely understand sarcasm and idioms.
*I don't have meltdowns.
*I enjoy socialising and meeting new people.

Stereotypical Aspie traits I have

- I sometimes find it hard to understand people's motives
- I never know what to say to new people unless we have a lot in common
- I have poor motor skills and am pretty clumsy
- I sometimes lose my temper when things don't go right straight away
- I love gaming
- I'm pretty intelligent
- I'm good with computers and technology
- I sometimes struggle with making eye contact

Ways I'm not like a stereotypical Aspie

- I don't really stim in a typical way, although I do touch part of my body a bit when I'm nervous
- I don't lack empathy. If anything, I'm too empathetic
- I'm fairly good at reading body language and facial expression
- I get sarcasm and have quite a dry sense of humour (with a hint of surreality)
- I like meeting new people. I'm just bad at it
- I'm not asexual. I am hopeless with women, though
- I've got a vivid imagination

Great thread;
here's my little contribution:

Stereotypical:
- easily overloaded (with too much visual information and sounds, esp. in a complex environment like crowded streets, supermarkets, etc.)
- changing sensitivity to smells and textures (sometimes I can't feel them at all, sometimes they're unbearable)
- lots of stimming
- lots of daydreaming
- zero empathy until about 20 years old, problems understanding other people's emotions until now; often saying inappropriate things
- problems understanding hints and implications; I never see if people lie to me, and never see hidden feelings
- no intuition at all; I'm the rational type
- eye contact problems (mostly staring; avoiding when stressed; almost natural with the closest people though)
- mimicking other people to be more "normal" i social situations
- playing with parts of toys or other objects as a kid (mostly spinning)
- very clumsy as a kid; sometimes clumsy now (when overloaded)
- bullied at early age; socially isolated as a teen
- "adult" speech at very early age
- obsessive interests
- "wunderkind" at school, one of the best at the university
- however, my "success story" ended right after the graduation (unable to sell myself to employers or cope with intrigues or similar issues at workplace; and, I hate team work)
- awfully bored with small talk; always bored at social events unless I find a freak like me to talk to (about what I'm interested in, or at least about what he or she is obsessively interested in)
- hate being hugged/touched/kissed by anyone except a few very close friends
- couldn't lie as a kid
- I can't function normally without several hours of loneliness every day
- not sensitive to hunger, thirst, tiredness

Non-stereotypical:
- no geek, no math or computer genius (good at maths at school but never really interested)
- I love fiction
- average IQ (between 125 and 145 according to online tests)
- no (or very few) routines; not really afraid of change
- not asexual
- not indifferent to image and style (moreover, there were periods in my life when I tried hard to look feminine; it was pretty tiresome though, now I've returned to tomboy style, which feels and looks more natural)
- never had problems with humor / understaning verbal jokes (at least not after about 10 years old); very sarcastic at times.
- I can lie and show off now.... sometimes, on my good days LOL
- despite all the socializing problems, I never avoid meeting people or being in the crowd; it's my daily dose of adrenaline
- sensitive to pain

PS. Never officially diagnosed. Not even properly self-diagnosed (in progress; comments are welcome).

I've already wrote all the non-Aspie traits I have. The Aspie traits I DO have are:-

1. I obsessively worry about stupid things what others wouldn't so much

2. I get anxious when there's change in my routine, unless arranged and agreed in advance

3. I can be a target for obnoxious teenagers to yell out things or make weird noises at in the street sometimes, probably because I look nervous and agitated

4. I have sensory issues with certain sounds

5. I am not very good at making friends compared to my NT peers, and I don't have many close friends. I only have a few friends

6. I get obsessions (only about certain people)

7. I have done stupid things in my life what drove previous friends away

8. I wouldn't be able to emotionally cope working full time

9. I get bouts of depression, suddenly feeling angry at myself and feeling that the world is against me

10. I am very shy, can be standoffish and not very chatty, although I can have conversations quite comfortably with people who actually bother to talk to me

11. I have awkward/stressful behaviour at home

That's all I can think of at the moment, although I probably a few more.

Nice thread

Stereotypical aspie features I have:
*Stimming
*daydreaming, and lots of it
*Don't get lonely (but would be lost without my family)
*Aversion to certain food textures and tastes (my worst sensory issue). Can’t stand bland food.
*Delayed emotional maturation
*Asexual
*Poor motor-skills; severe lack of coordination, been told I walk stiffly
*Have always loved animals
*Tomboyish in some ways (not at all into make-up, fashion, girly toys, find romantic stuff excruciatingly boring. Hair is something I like short and on my head, my interest end there. I love horror, fantasy and sci-fi, into videogames although the games I like might be considered girly: Pokémon, Harvest Moon and Rune Factory are among my favorites though I also like old-school platforms and racing and beat’em ups. I loved roughhousing as a child and teen, and the only reason I’m not into it now is lack of someone to have fun with. I always generally liked girls better than boys, but I had more fun playing with boys)
*Never feigned interest in anything just because “everyone” liked something
*Never stopped having obsessions (although they tend to last shorter now)
* Don’t smile much, especially not when I’m around people, my daydreams make me show more emotion that interaction does
* No desire for social life, no interest in people in general (excluding my closest family). The interest I do take is usually directly linked to an obsession.
* Cooperation hasn’t worked so far
* have to know why I am to do something
* Stubborn and strong-willed
* Usually not a fan of changes, but knowing in advance helps a great deal
* spend most of my time daydreaming, reading, playing video games, surfing the net
* I have good memory for facts, although it was stronger before everything was a click away
*Played sensory games, and spun car wheels and lined up toys and things as a child
*Grew up loving trains and dinosaurs
*I definitely have lack of both cognitive and affective empathy, more of the latter than the former
*shops are boring unless they sell books, DVDs or video games
*don’t get irony
*Eye contact triggers fight or flight response
*Facial expressions can be hard to get (but it differs greatly from person to person and how well I know them), especially subtleties are hard
*Hate being touched
*I'm quiet - have often been asked if something was wrong when I was content. Not talkative, not even about special interest, so I don’t go on and on for hours about anything; in fact I hardly ever have anything to say, and have no idea how to keep talking to anyone
*I wear whatever I want; big baggy clothes FTW
*find romance, romantic comedies and roman0tic dramas dead boring
*Prone to being anxious
*I hate being interrupted when I’m in hyperfocus mode
*I keep to myself.
* easily overloaded with too much information, will need complex instructions in writing
* can have problems understanding hints and implications; although sometimes I get it, I just don't wanna do it (whatever it is)
* couldn't lie as a child
* I can't function normally without several hours of me-time every day
*I will often say something I think is borderline inappropriate and people will just laugh, while they get all weird and tense by things I find completely fine to say
*I think in a way which does not relate with the real world.
*I am usually very blunt.
* I have a flare temper
* I can be impatient with people
* I can easily lose my temper when things don't go right straight away
*I have little stamina both when it comes to anything physical or anything that takes too long
*I over-think things (or at least that’s what I’m told. In my honest opinion other people under-think)
*I am aloof and standoffish

In-between traits
*My voice is sometimes monotonous, sometimes emotional
*Had and understood pretend play, but it tended to be the same few ways of playing it over and over
* I can like eating the same stuff but I also tend to get easily tired of food and not wanting it for long periods of time, some even without having eaten it a lot
*I easily give up
*I’m more into acquaintances than friendship. I like things casual

Ways in which I'm different from stereotypical aspies:
*Not practical
* sensitive to hunger, thirst, tiredness
*I’m not prone to depression or meltdowns
*I like teasing people and kidding
*I like sitcoms
* I've got imagination and used to love writing stories
*Can interpret tone of voice
*No savant ability
*Not hyper sensitive to most sounds. Some sounds are very bad, like loud music when it’s not my type, utensils and plates cluttering or metal utensils against plates without glazing, but while it makes my teeth hurt it doesn’t cause meltdowns or shutdowns
* I have big problems visualizing things
*I was only bullied in 4th grade, beyond that I’ve only experienced isolated incidents and no more than most do at some point
* Severe learning disability in maths, physics, chemistry and partly biology. Always forgetting the rules and formulas, have a very hard time understanding the ideas and theories
* Never took apart items as a child
*IRL I can use and get sarcasm (can be harder online due to lack of voice and smileys, and not always knowing the person well enough). Sarcasm and dark humor are my favorite types.
* Never mimicked anyone, not a chameleon
*anti-otaku/wapanese
*love fiction (but I’m picky)
*I am emotional and do not have alexithymia