How can I stop this weird stim?

Post Reply New Topic

I am addicted to this stim where I am constantly brushing my fingers on my lips. I like the feeling of my fingernail on my lips so I CONSTANTLY do it all the time even in public. My friend called me weird for doing it. I like doing it but I want to be able to stop doing it in public. I find myself doing it unintentionally as if somebody has a remote control to my fingers. Have you ever forced yourself to stop a stim and did it work?

I spun pens like drumsticks compulsively through about half of high school. Not a very practical fidget when they fly across the room but it aids concentration.


You might try broadening your palette - your lips are intrinsically linked to texture preferences in your diet. Maybe you'll find a way to scratch this strange itch.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

When you get the urge try doing isometric exercises with your arms instead.

When the urge to do that thing comes on procrastinate doing it -and start locking the fingers of your hands together and pulling your arm muscles against each other in dynamic tension ala Charles Atlas.


Exert those bicepts and tricepts like your pumping iron as long as you can - before giving into the unwanted habit. Gradually youll devote less time to the stim and more to the charles atlas excercises. You might even buff up. But also that energy might be directed away from your mouth and towards your arms where it might do you some good.

Why do you want to stop it? Just because your friend thinks it's weird? Don't worry about what they think, being weird isn't a bad thing.

Try wearing chapstick or lipbalm. The sticky feeling on your fingers might be enough to keep them away from your lips.

I used to do this! I still do, sometimes.

A counselor/therapist I used to visit told me how to break/substitute stims.

Step One: Try to become aware of the behavior, if you don't always realize when you're doing it. For ladies with hand stims, wearing a jingly bracelet helps.
Step Two: When you catch yourself starting to do it, stop and wait five minutes.
Step Three: When you can wait five minutes without doing the stim, make it ten. Then fifteen.
Step Four: Eventually, you will start to forget that you were going to do it, which becomes not doing it in the first place.

Of course, for me this turns into stim wack-a-mole. I stop putting my nails on my lips and start twirling my hair. I stop twirling my hair and start waggling my fingers. I stop waggling my fingers and start picking my skin. Etc, etc, etc. Altering the second step to, "do something more acceptable instead" rather than "wait five minutes" has helped me cut my stims down a lot and engage in ones that are not destructive to my body or creepy to others, like doing carpal tunnel stretches in an office setting, tapping my toes on public transit, and what have you. It took me months, but I really feel better about it now!

I am sure this process would be very hard for some people, but then again there are others it will help. I hope you can use it!

Good advice everybody. I will try some of them. Thanks.

I just read this post and did a double take and had to check I didn't write it! I do exactly the same and don't even realise I'm doing it half the time. I didn't even realise it might look weird to other people until quite recently. I have also started holding my thumbs tightly in the middle of my hands with my other fingers over the top, which is more what I do when I'm anxious (the lips thing more when I'm relaxed), but it is quite a good substitute and less obvious to other people so sometimes I swap when I realise I'm doing it.

If I try to stop doing something like this - and over the years I have had an assortment of stims - I just do it more so I don't try and eventually I stop but find another. I am much worse when stressed so working on the stress should help reduce the stimming.

I do something similar, except I put three fingers over my lips and tap them one by one. Before I started that one I would just pick the heck out of my face, and everyone felt justified to yell at me for that (not to mention it scabbed up my face).

I know you're trying to stop, but as far as stims go, rubbing your lips strikes me as pretty tame and acceptable. You could perhaps transfer it to the totally-neurotypical nail biting... or perhaps just apply a new coat of chap stick whenever you feel the urge.