Were you Bullied? Tell stories

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In elementary school, one kid was just small (don't let that deceive you; he's sadistic). He was dumped in our IEP group and I would stay with an HFA girl because she was pretty much one of my only friends. He liked to touch us and watch us suffer and have meltdowns. Kids in my class would also tease me when I ticked. No matter how many times I said, "I can't help it." they wouldn't listen.

Middle school, I am constantly harassed by promiscuous girls. I was mad. Every time they even dared to talk to me, I slapped them. I wasn't stupid about it; I did it when a teacher wasn't around. I started dating my girlfriend, they backed off, either out of depression or an actual modesty towards me. This all still happens in high school, except I don't have a girlfriend now.

The teasing/bullying ranged from kids making funny faces or sounds at me while I walked past them, to calling me names (racist or otherwise), to putting gum in my hair on the bus, to taking something of mine and throwing it around so I couldn't get it, to pushing me nearly off a cliff on a field trip, to ganging up on me calling me names while shoving me and throwing dirt at me, or one time a ball at my head so hard it banged my head into a brick wall almost making me pass out.

I hate talking about it, but during secondary school (junior high in other places, I think) I was bullied. I started hanging out with a group of girls who seemed alright once I graduated and got into the school I wanted, but eventually they didn't how I wasn't involved enough with every little activity they were doing and phased me out. Well, silly me didn't get this and still tried to hang out with them, and they decided to shun me more and more until it got to the point where one girl shoved me to the ground and started hitting me with her friends cheering and all the other kids standing back. One of the other girls there also cornered me in private and slapped me in the face for getting 100% in an Art exam she didn't do too well on despite her being a top student.

I wish it had stopped there- physical things are unpleasant but easy. They hit you, you hit them, whoever's strongest or holds out more wins and the other person nurses their wounds and their shame. It just escalated from there. Similar to others here I lost other friends because I was unpopular and weird. Once my mom hit me in frustration because I kept losing friends, though it turned out it was largely due to the influence of the aforementioned girls who were the 'alphas' of the class. Anyway, it got worse and worse, and one day I snapped and said I couldn't stand them next to someone who I thought was a trusted friend. First thing she did, though, was turn around and gossip to them, and they decided to humiliate me. One day I noticed a lot of people were either avoiding me, looking at me weird or whispering and looking at me, then at lunchtime one of the girls invited me to the classroom. I can't remember what she said it was for. She made me stand in the middle of the class surrounded by the bullies and other classmates, continuously called me names and made me admit to being an arrogant b***h who would amount to nothing then started throwing things I said to my 'friend' back at me while the class watched and laugh. I couldn't run since they blocked the doors, there were no teachers around so all I could do was stand there, try not to cry and apologise. They kept doing that for about half an hour until lunch was over. When it was all done I ran into a bathroom and cried until some other student told me to get out. It's still hard not to blame myself for everything that happened.

Aaand that wasn't the worst of it. The worst part, I think, was facing school for the next month. None of the people I would talk to would risk being around me because now I was hated. I was surrounded daily by the people who had laughed at me and feeling more and more like trash every day. No body had said what happened until about a week later when the teachers found out. Can't remember how. I won't even BEGIN to go into THEIR response because that would be a whole 'nother post. I guess this is all to just get it out. Sorry for ranting.

That's.... not really an answer. From what you've said it just sounded like people didn't like you. They didn't pursue you and didn't affect your life, really. They were people whose taste you did not fit, and that's normal, but they're NOT bullies. And no, not every autistic child has been bullied. I know many who have not, simply because of circumstance. For example, a certain older person I know wasn't bullied despite having undiagnosed Asperger's simply because he grew up in a time where school rules were very strict in this country, not to mention it being very work-oriented. Helped that his older brother was very protective of him, as well. Some are just fortunate to never experience being a victim of bullying.

Again, I went through 12 years of public school, with undiagnosed autism. Bullying was as common at the schools I went to as it is anywhere. Do you really think that I somehow made it through all those years and never got bullied? Really? The above poll shows that only 4% of people here were never bullied. Most were moderately to extremely severely bullied.

Why does everybody think that bullying is something that only happens to them?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCFeUoVsJ-Y[/youtube]

One Monday, this kid in elementary school told me he was going to beat me up. I don't know what I did or said but he promised to beat me up.

Tuesday came and he made the same threat. On Wednesday and Thursday he kept up his promise. By then I thought he was joking.

Friday, after school, he started following me home. Word got out that there was going to be a fight so other kids followed. I looked back behind me and saw the small group following. I didn't really pay attention because I thought it was just empty boasting.

As I rounded a corner by a hospital, the kid suddenly ran up and started punching me. He then put me in some kind of hold. Reaching into my book bag, I pulled out a refill pen and somehow shoved it into his neck. Screaming, he let me go. Then, running across the street, he picked up a half-empty bottle of Guinness Stout and flung it at me. It missed and crashed against the hospital wall, its contents spilling on my shirt.

I guess he realized he was defeated so he just turned and walked away crying. I went home and removed my shirt before I entered my house just in case my grandmother saw it and got angry.

Oh, yes. The good ol' days.

Is this the bullying thread that led to the thread about AS overdiagnosis?

Some bullying thread was mentioned in that other thread.

I was not bullied, because I was socially aloof and totally ignored people, like not the slightest response.

I was by myself in grade school, always doing my own study plan on my own.

Later, I went to a good high school and took all advanced classes with nerds, so there was no bullying there.

Junior high was the most vulnerable period, and I think that a girl tried to be nasty to me, but failed to attract my attention.

I can relate to a certain extent.

I was teased a lot during my schooldays, but I've realized it later, because until the age of 11 I could neither realize I was being teased. So other kids grew easily bored.

When I started to realize that my classmates teased me, I just couldn't bring myself to care about it, because I don't care about what other people tell me, or about what they think about me.

In 8th grade, as I was told in a post before, my classmates told me that I had schizoid PD and had no emotions because I didn't care about all people in school teasing me.

Ahw well. Whatever.

Same was for my father.

Yeah, I was definitely bullied. And not just a little.

From the age of 9 to 13. It was really horrible. But luckily there was no physical contact involved...

This is the thread, yes.

I've found that physical violence makes it difficult to ignore bullies.

Also, I was passive rather than aloof and responded to social overtures. Many of these overtures were deceptive in nature, and intended to trick and/or harm me.

Words are not just words. Ask Marie Antoinette about the very organized bullying campaign that lost her her crown and then her head.

Gossip, slander, grew and grew, the way it is doing with Paula Deen. (That is a whole kettle of fish in itself, but, a lot of what's being said around her case is exaggeration or misattribution or gossip or hearsay and the basic facts are ignored; it's also judging without a jury since the trial is still underway.)

Words can definitely hurt!

Orthodox Jews believe that gossip literally can kill. For one thing, the person has no chance to make a good first impression; the gossip precedes them and the person's mind is already poisoned against them.

Someone being bullied is also being made into a social outcast including to anyone new coming into the situation or school. So that lessens their chance to make connections which could help them in later life. It can interfere with concentration at school or at work. It does damage self esteem and experts say those effects can be long lasting.

It is not as simple as "don't let it bother you" any more than everyone can be helped with "just ignore the pain" if they cut their skin or something. No sense judging others who can't simply switch off their feelings. Plus there is no getting around the very real damage bullying and gossip do to a person's social position and future chances, even if they manage to not be depressed about it in itself.

Without bullying maybe they would be elected president of different clubs or student council or do better on their SAT or whatever, which really can impact being accepted to good schools. That isn't only about how the person reacts but how the very bullying itself has made others continue to perceive them. People are often afraid to befriend or help them, or even say hi to them out of fear the bully will turn on them next.

Just my .02 and change.

My high school teacher told me, when I told him about the bullying: 'words are only words'

I doubt he would have still be saying that if you responded to that by saying to him "**** you" or various other insults. Why should he care if they are "just words"?

It's pretty easy to say it's "just words" when it's not directed at you.

As a teenager, I generally wasn't bullied too much because I was reasonably big and strong. However, when people realized that I was trying to fit in and incapable of punching someone in the face (in the back of my mind I thought I could kill someone), I was jumped and ostracized on a couple of occasions.

The main one that sticks out was 9th grade retreat. We spent three days in the cabin. I was in a room with six other guys. I was forced to sleep on the floor and was spat upon. People would take turns attacking me like a pack of hyenas would their prey. I was spit on and so forth in this period. One the 3rd day, I had enough. I took one of the boys in a headlock and grazed his head with my fist. Again, I could not punch him fully. I still needed to sleep on the floor, but it was enough for them to stop spitting on me while I was on the floor.

After that, I hung out with different people. Eventually this led to hanging out more with African Americans and burnouts - they seemed to get me back then.

Being nice to bullies doesn't stop them from bullying.

Lots of name calling,art destroyed or stolen,my new coat got scribbled on with a permanent marker,pinched,punched,tripped,hit with stuff,etc.Won't happen now,I'm a survivor of domestic violence.I'll knock anyone on their ass that lays a hand on me,even if I have to use a stick.I don't care what people say,that I can ignore,I've probably heard worse.