Do people invade your personal space?

Page 1 of 1 [ 7 posts ] 

Joe90
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 23 Feb 2010
Gender: Female
Posts: 17,926
Location: Maidstone, UK

12 Jun 2013, 1:06 pm

I always worry in case I have a look that tells people I am mentally stupid, because I always get people planting themselves right up against me as though the world ain't big enough for me. It's usually women that do this, not men.

Today I was talking to my friend at a big spacious train-station by a wall, and an old-ish couple came near me with a small pull-along suitcase thing, and the woman literally stood right behind me, that I felt her brush up against my back, so me and my friend both rolled our eyes at each other and walked away, being so the whole platform was almost empty and so had no reason to need to stand up close to anybody. I felt I was just being jostled out of the way for no reason except from disrespect, even though the woman didn't seem to know she had done it, but she still must have seen me there. She can't have took that much advantage of my dopey vibe, I did have my back to her and was talking and laughing with my friend.

I just get annoyed because they generalize about young people always pushing through people or jostling others, but I can safely say I have experienced better behaviour with teenagers with this sort of thing, and ironically it seems to be women in their 60s that do these annoying things to me. No I am not generalizing, but just saying that each time it's happened to me it's always been a woman around that age. Does anyone else have this type of experience? Does it make you feel unimportant? Is there anything I can do about it - without involving animosity?


_________________
Female
Aged 30
On antidepressants
Diagnosed with AS, ADHD and anxiety disorder


Thelibrarian
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 5 Aug 2012
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,948
Location: Deep in the heart of Texas

12 Jun 2013, 2:14 pm

Joe90 wrote:
I always worry in case I have a look that tells people I am mentally stupid, because I always get people planting themselves right up against me as though the world ain't big enough for me. It's usually women that do this, not men.

Today I was talking to my friend at a big spacious train-station by a wall, and an old-ish couple came near me with a small pull-along suitcase thing, and the woman literally stood right behind me, that I felt her brush up against my back, so me and my friend both rolled our eyes at each other and walked away, being so the whole platform was almost empty and so had no reason to need to stand up close to anybody. I felt I was just being jostled out of the way for no reason except from disrespect, even though the woman didn't seem to know she had done it, but she still must have seen me there. She can't have took that much advantage of my dopey vibe, I did have my back to her and was talking and laughing with my friend.

I just get annoyed because they generalize about young people always pushing through people or jostling others, but I can safely say I have experienced better behaviour with teenagers with this sort of thing, and ironically it seems to be women in their 60s that do these annoying things to me. No I am not generalizing, but just saying that each time it's happened to me it's always been a woman around that age. Does anyone else have this type of experience? Does it make you feel unimportant? Is there anything I can do about it - without involving animosity?


Joe, what you are describing has been termed the decline of civility. What's really sad is that England used to be perhaps the most civil society in the world. But since my best friend is a Brit, I'm aware this is no longer the case.

You are right about a lot of the sixtyish cohort being particularly self-centered; there is good reason why they are known as the "me generation". I say this being fifty myself. All I can say is that I've run a few Boomers right out of my office for daring to malign all young people. Young people today have it far worse than the pampered Boomers. Of course, no ALL Baby Boomers are so narcissistic, but enough are.

What you describe is one reason I stay out of public whenever possible.



Last edited by Thelibrarian on 12 Jun 2013, 2:26 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Caz72
Deinonychus
Deinonychus

User avatar

Joined: 20 Feb 2013
Age: 48
Gender: Female
Posts: 394
Location: England

12 Jun 2013, 2:22 pm

i used to get jostled/treated like i was invisble when i was as young as you too. but since i have been in a job where i have authority, i seem to now give off a different vibe that says that i can show my authority, and people do it less. i have been a coach and bus driver since i was 30 so that has gained me confidence in having that assertive look in my gait, because driving coaches and buses is more responsibility than it looks. but that might not always be the case so dont think i am basing other peoples respect towards you on what kind of job you have, i was just saying.



Murderface
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 30 Dec 2012
Age: 44
Gender: Male
Posts: 154
Location: Park co Colorado

12 Jun 2013, 3:32 pm

When people do that I feel like beating them about the face and head. That may show because they tend to back off once I look toward them.


_________________
Death solves all problems no man no problem
Your Aspie score: 148 of 200
AQ 38/50
You are very likely an Aspie


Uprising
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 9 Jan 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 3,908

12 Jun 2013, 3:47 pm

I am a 25 year old male and this thread sums up the biggest current annoyance in people in my life.

Being a male victim of this is worse because not only are you a monstrous ageist when you act out on it, but you are also a sickening sexist or a misogynist.

Usually when I'm at the bus stop and some person of suspicious age and gender comes close to me I just go stand as far from her as possible until she gets the point and avoid all eye-contact, listen to my mp3-player.

There are friendly types though, usually the ones who take (way) better care of themselves and still have a mindset of someone being at the end of their twenties and do literally anything in their life to prevent getting even one wrinkle (I love those!).



Mindsigh
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 29 May 2012
Age: 53
Gender: Female
Posts: 3,272
Location: Ailleurs

12 Jun 2013, 3:54 pm

Uprising wrote:
There are friendly types though, usually the ones who take (way) better care of themselves and still have a mindset of someone being at the end of their twenties and do literally anything in their life to prevent getting even one wrinkle (I love those!).


Aww, shucks. :lol: Seriously, though. My "personal space" is larger than most people's, I think. Unless I am your mother or wife, keep your distance.


_________________
"Lonely is as lonely does.
Lonely is an eyesore."


1401b
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 21 May 2012
Age: 120
Gender: Male
Posts: 1,584

12 Jun 2013, 5:04 pm

Frankly I get sick of everybody trying to shake my hand. I don't want their cooties, why do they want mine?


_________________
(14.01.b) Been there; Done that; and wow am I embarrassed.
Our Project- https://sites.google.com/site/StabilizingAutism

What's wrong with Humans?
https://sites.google.com/site/Stabilizi ... troduction