Should I join Facebook to improve my social life?

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Vectorspace
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13 Jun 2013, 7:09 pm

My inability to get to know people is still bothering me – a lot.

My brother and my sister insist that I should join Facebook. I really don't like the idea of Facebook; even with strict privacy settings, I'm still worried about what people will be able to read about me there, and I don't think I understand the social dynamics of Facebook.

Do you think that I should sign up anyway? According to my impression, people mostly use Facebook for talking to people that they already know offline. Because most of my friends don't use Facebook, either, that seems a bit pointless to me.

The "mutual friends" feature sounds quite interesting – at least the idea behind it. But I already know many of my friends' friends; the problem is that I don't know them well enough. If I added them on Facebook, I don't see why I should be able to talk to them there if I fail to do it in person.

I really don't care about reading status updates concerning what people had for dinner, and I'm not sure if I'd be able to form closer social contact by commenting on such posts. I have a little bit of hope that a Facebook profile would make me appear more "approachable" and show people that I'm not an emeritus. So maybe there'll be a few more people asking me math questions – better than nothing, but not really satisfactory, either. (I think all of my status updated would be math-related. :))

What experiences do you have with Facebook? Is there anyone whose social life improved significantly due to Facebook?



neobluex
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13 Jun 2013, 8:18 pm

I have a Facebook account, and it does not help much (in my case). I have there many acquitances, but I never talk to them and they don't talk to me (unless about homework).
Facebook is not going to help you if you don't know anyone with a Face account. A lot of users add everyone as a friend, but they don't interact (It's a "I have more contacts than you" contest).
And if you talk by Facebook but not in real life, some people will say you're a fake and other stuff (at least here).

If you join it, take a look to GraphSarch to find people with similar interests, same school, etc. But it is a bit cumbersome and if you add someone directly it would be "aggressive".
In my opinion, it's better to meet people on forums or other sites and then you can add it to Facebook.



BrokenTrumpet
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13 Jun 2013, 10:35 pm

I mainly got a Facebook in case employers looked at that stuff.

If you're looking for new friends, Facebook isn't going to help you unless you ask your current friends to connect you with others. You could improve your chances by writing an elaborate profile, so that others can look for common interests, but don't except much to come of it. However, it can help you stay connected with friends you already know, although that depends on how much you and they use it.



Vectorspace
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14 Jun 2013, 3:47 am

neobluex wrote:
And if you talk by Facebook but not in real life, some people will say you're a fake and other stuff (at least here).

Yes, I heard about that, too. But I don't think it's a Facebook problem. It's how people are.

neobluex wrote:
In my opinion, it's better to meet people on forums or other sites and then you can add it to Facebook.

What sites are you talking about, specifically?

BrokenTrumpet wrote:
However, it can help you stay connected with friends you already know, although that depends on how much you and they use it.

My number of friends is so low that keeping track of them isn't likely to become a problem...



neobluex
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14 Jun 2013, 6:56 am

neobluex wrote:
In my opinion, it's better to meet people on forums or other sites and then you can add it to Facebook.

What sites are you talking about, specifically?

Forums, like this, or other about other topics. In theory, you can discuss a topic, and that discussion might end in a private-message talk. And then, there is a possibilite of that discussion becomes a friendly talking, and you and the other one will want to meet each other and it will give its Facebook account.



neobluex
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14 Jun 2013, 7:24 am

neobluex wrote:
neobluex wrote:
In my opinion, it's better to meet people on forums or other sites and then you can add it to Facebook.

What sites are you talking about, specifically?


Forums, like this, or other about other topics. In theory, you can discuss a topic, and that discussion might end in a private-message talk. And then, there is a possibilite of that discussion becomes a friendly talking, and you and the other one will want to meet each other and it will give its Facebook account.



Vectorspace
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14 Jun 2013, 7:36 am

neobluex wrote:
Forums, like this, or other about other topics. In theory, you can discuss a topic, and that discussion might end in a private-message talk. And then, there is a possibilite of that discussion becomes a friendly talking, and you and the other one will want to meet each other and it will give its Facebook account.

That's the theory, yeah. But even on this website, I have a very hard time maintaining a personal conversation. Most people stop talking to me after a few PMs. I'd better stop trying before it gets creepy.

I don't see why I should be more successful in other places.



neobluex
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14 Jun 2013, 7:50 am

Vectorspace wrote:
I don't see why I should be more successful in other places.


Because this community is too big, and I heard about other sites fucused in meeting people. But it's luck, too.



SaveTigers
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14 Jun 2013, 8:17 am

BrokenTrumpet wrote:
I mainly got a Facebook in case employers looked at that stuff.


I haven't looked for a job in 7 years, but do employers now expect people to be on Facebook? I mean, does it hurt your chance of being hired if you are not on it? Just curious.......



BrokenTrumpet
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14 Jun 2013, 11:13 am

I have no idea how much of a difference it makes, it varies from place to place. I've never been asked to give my Facebook info to anyone, but from what I've read there are employers who check for it, mostly to see if you post anything offensive or make yourself out to be a fool.



anneurysm
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15 Jun 2013, 12:39 pm

There have been countless studies published that have linked the use of facebook to people feeling bad about themselves and depressed...especially among people who are at risk for such problems themselves. It tends to greatly skew your perception about how other people really behave, how interesting their lives are, and how happy they really are. They censor themselves and seem to post only about good or exciting things, which can distort how you see yourself in relation to them and make you feel bad about yourself.

I no longer use it except for promoting my job through a fan page...but that's just me. It's ultimately up to you if you want to use it despite the potential risks.


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16 Jun 2013, 4:42 am

anneurysm wrote:
There have been countless studies published that have linked the use of facebook to people feeling bad about themselves and depressed...especially among people who are at risk for such problems themselves.

I'm not sure what to think about such statistics... Next time they'll find out that use of WrongPlanet is linked to Asperger's. :)

Anyway, Facebook is just not designed for meeting new people, and neither is this forum.
Do you know any other websites that I should check? I think Craigslist is often mentioned here; but when I go there, I only find offers for "casual sex", which is not what I'm looking for... plus the website itself is pretty much focused on meeting people in real-life.



BeauZa
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16 Jun 2013, 5:20 am

If you want to network yourself on a social and vocational level, you can do way worse than Facebook ;)


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kingfishereyes
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16 Jun 2013, 5:59 am

Yes. FB is essential for keeping in touch with people. I wish more of my aspie friends had facebook!!



Sheerboredom
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16 Jun 2013, 6:05 am

Facebook won't help your social life. I wouldn't even say it would improve it but it would help people realize if your the type of person they want to talk to. My personal advice is go out and be outspoken, that improved my social life more than creating a Facebook account ever did.

The only thing it would allow you to do really outright would be to talk to old friends and family members you don't talk to a lot.


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