Should I join Facebook to improve my social life?
BeauZa
Velociraptor
Joined: 10 Nov 2009
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 483
Location: New South Wales, Australia
Ah, well what I mean to say is that Facebook is a highly-frequented website and that you are certainly far better off networking yourself on such a website than if you don't. You've gotta be in it to win it!
_________________
I used to plan and plot, and try to live correct; lately I do a lot of things that don't make sense. Now I must do what I must do.
I mean that right now I am moving around a lot, like when you move from different schools and jobs you might want to keep in touch with the friends you made there and you might not be able to see them everyday. However you can keep the friendship going by using facebook chat or just posting on their walls.
Also it's great for making new people into friends, say if you just met someone once or twice and you wanted to keep the relationship going, it could grow on facebook .
I'm a bit confused because, on the one hand, my friends are willing to spend half their weekend with me, but when I talk to them online, they're always "busy".
It wouldn't be weird to talk to them now, last year I added one my friends whom I haven't talked to in over six years.
I will say this, watching others go out and have fun has made me depressed in the last few days but that's because a lot of my "friends" I do socialize with are the paintball team I'm on or right wing extremists.
Sorry if this doesn't make sense I have to type this on my phone because my parents don't like me on this site. Also how do you make a quoted post less of a wall of text.
_________________
AQ:19
Your Aspie score: 87 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 131 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
INTJ
Last edited by Sheerboredom on 17 Jun 2013, 1:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.
Facebook doesn't necessarily help you improve your social life. People that are already friends and acquaintances with one another use Facebook to present their pictures and videos to and message each other. It is analogous to the lists of email addresses and phone numbers of people that you already know.
To improve your social life, you'd have to find and partake social activities based on your interests. Try using Meetup.com. If your make friends with someone, then you would Facebook him or her just to show each other your pics and videos.
Could someone tell me how to fix my last post please and thank you.
Edit: Never mind someone helped me.
_________________
AQ:19
Your Aspie score: 87 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 131 of 200
You are very likely neurotypical
INTJ
Last edited by Sheerboredom on 17 Jun 2013, 1:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Yes, I get that impression, too. The advantage I see about Facebook is the low barrier to interact. Becoming someone's "friend" only requires a mouse click, and when you want to tell something to your friends, there's no need to get into an actual conversation – you can just post it. In this regard, Facebook seems pretty "Aspie-friendly". But finding friends is still up to you...
meetup.com doesn't seem to be very popular in Germany. And if I get it right, it's focused on finding people who live nearby to do offline activities. I don't think that this is a good approach for me.
Bazinga4
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Joined: 7 Jan 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Female
Posts: 71
Location: Ireland
I never wanted to join Facebook but was pressured by my so called peers into joining it. Facebook can b annoying but it's great for getting invited to things.My brother and sister were the opposite they knew I was going to find Facebook a challenge so didn't want me to go on it but i didn't listen to them. At times I like Facebook but there r times that I just hate it.I prefer talking to people face to face I think it's more social and I find it easier to express myself that way. I joined it because I hated being excluded and just wanted to b included and that everyone was on it
It has not really improved my social life. My social life is improving but not due to Facebook.
Craigslist is better for meeting people out of the blue using common interests...I have made a female friend there that I continue to hang out with regularly. Make sure when you post, you post in the strictly platonic section and note that you are looking for platonic friendship in your post.
_________________
Given a “tentative” diagnosis as a child as I needed services at school for what was later correctly discovered to be a major anxiety disorder.
This misdiagnosis caused me significant stress, which lessened upon finding out the truth about myself from my current and past long-term psychiatrists - that I am a highly sensitive person but do not have an autism spectrum disorder
My diagnoses - anxiety disorder, depression and traits of obsessive-compulsive disorder (all in remission).
I’m no longer involved with the ASD world.
I only use facebook to keep in contact with people I haven't seen in a while (e.g. high school people) or who have moved overseas.
The best way to get to know other people in a non-social setting is just to involve yourself in a lot of volunteer or community events. You'll be spending most of the time doing an activity rather than talking. The small talk comes gradually.
Or just go out and find a paid job. Heaps of new people to meet there
The best way to get to know other people in a non-social setting is just to involve yourself in a lot of volunteer or community events. You'll be spending most of the time doing an activity rather than talking. The small talk comes gradually.
Or just go out and find a paid job. Heaps of new people to meet there
I already see plenty of people in university lectures and in the orchestra. It's not like I don't have opportunities; I just miss them.
I don't think it helped my social life at all. It allows me to exchange pleasantries with people I barely know. big deal.
I did start off with this naive idea that I could maybe get to know people better through facebook but nobody is interested. As you said people only use it to talk to their friends. If you're not already their friend, you are dead to them on facebook. The only reason to even try messaging them is if you like being ignored. And believe me I've seen dozens of my messages go ignored.
DragonKazooie89
Deinonychus
Joined: 12 May 2008
Age: 34
Gender: Female
Posts: 391
Location: Northern Utah
its no fun
Exactly, every time I made a Facebook account it actually ended up making me feel a lot lot worse, on Facebook you'll see how all the NT people you know are supposedly really enjoying themselves, basically they cherry pick events in their week and then boast about them, if you've had a bad week it makes you feel worse, you'll be bombarded by photos of people having fun etc, and will see constant messages about people doing stupid things.
Facebook will fuel a narcissistic urge in you to keep checking it every 5 minutes to see if someone "liked" something you said etc.
All in all Facebook is the worst thing possible for someone with Autism, if there was a similar site for ASD people however it might be very useful.
Facebook came make you feel like everyone is having a good time without you. It's not true because you're only seeing the best stuff because that's what people share, but you might feel excluded even if it doesn't make sense.
However, now-a-days some people organize their whole social life through Facebook so if you're not on it you're not in it.
My personal experience I did feel the "good times without me" thing but also some people from my seasonal job made it known they wanted me to come back, so that was good to here. Also I recently made a friend who more or less lives on the streets. Not technically homeless but very close to it. I couldn't find her and some of my Facebook friends were very supportive in my efforts to find her, which I needed because it was a bit crazy to do take that action and every difficult to accomplish. After six months of looking I did find her, on Facebook.
EDIT: I should also say that several people who liked me from high school tried to add me but I didn't accept. They're all gone on to high education, careers and families. I don't feel I'm on their level. I'm making friends with panhandlers. Everyone I'm friends with on Facebook is younger than me.
Last edited by MinorAnnoyance on 22 Jun 2013, 11:33 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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