Should I join Facebook to improve my social life?

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Vectorspace
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16 Jun 2013, 6:28 am

BeauZa wrote:
If you want to network yourself on a social and vocational level, you can do way worse than Facebook ;)

kingfishereyes wrote:
Yes. FB is essential for keeping in touch with people. I wish more of my aspie friends had facebook!!

Can you both please elaborate a bit?

Sheerboredom wrote:
Facebook won't help your social life. I wouldn't even say it would improve it but it would help people realize if your the type of person they want to talk to. My personal advice is go out and be outspoken, that improved my social life more than creating a Facebook account ever did.

Yes, but I'm much more comfortable online – unlike most people.
I'm a bit confused because, on the one hand, my friends are willing to spend half their weekend with me, but when I talk to them online, they're always "busy".

Sheerboredom wrote:
The only thing it would allow you to do really outright would be to talk to old friends and family members you don't talk to a lot.

I'm not sure if I want to do that. I can only think of two "old friends", but I haven't seen them in 5 years; wouldn't it be weird to contact them now again?

I have some old "semi-friends" that I could add, but I'm not sure if watching other people having a social life improves mine. It would probably make me jealous, though, on the other hand, maybe it could teach me a bit how it's done?



BeauZa
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16 Jun 2013, 6:31 am

Ah, well what I mean to say is that Facebook is a highly-frequented website and that you are certainly far better off networking yourself on such a website than if you don't. You've gotta be in it to win it!


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kingfishereyes
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16 Jun 2013, 9:21 am

I mean that right now I am moving around a lot, like when you move from different schools and jobs you might want to keep in touch with the friends you made there and you might not be able to see them everyday. However you can keep the friendship going by using facebook chat or just posting on their walls.

Also it's great for making new people into friends, say if you just met someone once or twice and you wanted to keep the relationship going, it could grow on facebook :P.



Sheerboredom
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16 Jun 2013, 11:02 pm

Sheerboredom wrote:
Facebook won't help your social life. I wouldn't even say it would improve it but it would help people realize if your the type of person they want to talk to. My personal advice is go out and be outspoken, that improved my social life more than creating a Facebook account ever did.

vectorspace wrote:
Yes, but I'm much more comfortable online – unlike most people.
I'm a bit confused because, on the one hand, my friends are willing to spend half their weekend with me, but when I talk to them online, they're always "busy".


Sheerboredom wrote:
The only thing it would allow you to do really outright would be to talk to old friends and family members you don't talk to a lot.

vectorspace wrote:
I'm not sure if I want to do that. I can only think of two "old friends", but I haven't seen them in 5 years; wouldn't it be weird to contact them now again?


vectorspace wrote:
I have some old "semi-friends" that I could add, but I'm not sure if watching other people having a social life improves mine. It would probably make me jealous, though, on the other hand, maybe it could teach me a bit how it's done?


It wouldn't be weird to talk to them now, last year I added one my friends whom I haven't talked to in over six years.

I will say this, watching others go out and have fun has made me depressed in the last few days but that's because a lot of my "friends" I do socialize with are the paintball team I'm on or right wing extremists.

Sorry if this doesn't make sense I have to type this on my phone because my parents don't like me on this site. Also how do you make a quoted post less of a wall of text.


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Last edited by Sheerboredom on 17 Jun 2013, 1:20 pm, edited 2 times in total.

tcorrielus
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16 Jun 2013, 11:07 pm

Facebook doesn't necessarily help you improve your social life. People that are already friends and acquaintances with one another use Facebook to present their pictures and videos to and message each other. It is analogous to the lists of email addresses and phone numbers of people that you already know.

To improve your social life, you'd have to find and partake social activities based on your interests. Try using Meetup.com. If your make friends with someone, then you would Facebook him or her just to show each other your pics and videos.



Sheerboredom
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17 Jun 2013, 12:14 am

Could someone tell me how to fix my last post please and thank you.

Edit: Never mind someone helped me.


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Last edited by Sheerboredom on 17 Jun 2013, 1:23 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Vectorspace
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17 Jun 2013, 7:05 am

tcorrielus wrote:
Facebook doesn't necessarily help you improve your social life. People that are already friends and acquaintances with one another use Facebook to present their pictures and videos to and message each other. It is analogous to the lists of email addresses and phone numbers of people that you already know.

Yes, I get that impression, too. The advantage I see about Facebook is the low barrier to interact. Becoming someone's "friend" only requires a mouse click, and when you want to tell something to your friends, there's no need to get into an actual conversation – you can just post it. In this regard, Facebook seems pretty "Aspie-friendly". But finding friends is still up to you...

tcorrielus wrote:
To improve your social life, you'd have to find and partake social activities based on your interests. Try using Meetup.com. If your make friends with someone, then you would Facebook him or her just to show each other your pics and videos.

meetup.com doesn't seem to be very popular in Germany. And if I get it right, it's focused on finding people who live nearby to do offline activities. I don't think that this is a good approach for me.



Bazinga4
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17 Jun 2013, 3:07 pm

I never wanted to join Facebook but was pressured by my so called peers into joining it. Facebook can b annoying but it's great for getting invited to things.My brother and sister were the opposite they knew I was going to find Facebook a challenge so didn't want me to go on it but i didn't listen to them. At times I like Facebook but there r times that I just hate it.I prefer talking to people face to face I think it's more social and I find it easier to express myself that way. I joined it because I hated being excluded and just wanted to b included and that everyone was on it

It has not really improved my social life. My social life is improving but not due to Facebook.



anneurysm
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17 Jun 2013, 9:07 pm

Craigslist is better for meeting people out of the blue using common interests...I have made a female friend there that I continue to hang out with regularly. Make sure when you post, you post in the strictly platonic section and note that you are looking for platonic friendship in your post.


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vk2goh
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18 Jun 2013, 1:24 am

I only use facebook to keep in contact with people I haven't seen in a while (e.g. high school people) or who have moved overseas.

The best way to get to know other people in a non-social setting is just to involve yourself in a lot of volunteer or community events. You'll be spending most of the time doing an activity rather than talking. The small talk comes gradually.

Or just go out and find a paid job. Heaps of new people to meet there :)



Bubbles137
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18 Jun 2013, 2:58 am

Facebook basically is my social life! But I find it difficult with FB politics- being blocked/deleted/ignored and not knowing why, people saying things I don't get etc and I've considered deleting it a few times, but then I'd hardly speak to anyone.



Vectorspace
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18 Jun 2013, 7:26 am

vk2goh wrote:
I only use facebook to keep in contact with people I haven't seen in a while (e.g. high school people) or who have moved overseas.

The best way to get to know other people in a non-social setting is just to involve yourself in a lot of volunteer or community events. You'll be spending most of the time doing an activity rather than talking. The small talk comes gradually.

Or just go out and find a paid job. Heaps of new people to meet there :)

I already see plenty of people in university lectures and in the orchestra. It's not like I don't have opportunities; I just miss them.



jerry00
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18 Jun 2013, 1:24 pm

I don't think it helped my social life at all. It allows me to exchange pleasantries with people I barely know. big deal.

I did start off with this naive idea that I could maybe get to know people better through facebook but nobody is interested. As you said people only use it to talk to their friends. If you're not already their friend, you are dead to them on facebook. The only reason to even try messaging them is if you like being ignored. And believe me I've seen dozens of my messages go ignored.



DragonKazooie89
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21 Jun 2013, 9:19 pm

No way. I only joined Fcaebook to keep up with family and it didn't help very much. I got a better social life online through Tumblr, thanks to those who are fans of the same things I am.



DefinitelyKmart
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21 Jun 2013, 10:06 pm

Facebook will make you detest all you hold dear, its like a stream of consciousness and people just type the first stuff that comes to mind "HUNGRY LOL" " RLY BAD MOOD"
its no fun