when you meet someone with a child on the spectrum

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do you disclose that you are also on the spectrum?


today I was helping my family with a yard sale and a lady and she had her son with her and my uncle had made a comment how he was like me when I was little. later she said that her son was HFA, I wanted to say I was also on the spectrum but I was conflicted and said nothing

I absolutely will disclose that I am on the spectrum and glad to meet someone else who is. My neighbor down the hall has a boy who is on the spectrum and she speaks with me about stuff like meltdowns and misunderstandings, the faulty education system and much more. It is great to share, in my opinion.

I actually just met a family with an autistic son today. I did not disclose that I was on the spectrum. I make a habit out of not disclosing unless I think the person has friend potential,or if there's a good practical reason for doing so. Otherwise it's just not worth the awkwardness.

Yes, if it comes up in the conversation. If they say their kid is autistic, I'll go, "Hey, cool, so am I." Sometimes they'll do a double-take because I seem so verbal, and sometimes they'll say, "So that's why you're so eccentric!", and sometimes they'll start talking about how Einstein probably had autism. A few times they have even guessed that I'm autistic before I say it straight out, though usually they're too polite to mention it spontaneously. Sometimes they ask me things and sometimes I can answer them. But really, it's the parents that know their child the best, usually at least more than some random autistic stranger.

Not directly. I'm kind of shy about talking about my flaws.

Well, it was highly like with one of the people that I was on the spectrum anyway. We met at a friends birthday party. Most of the people there are on the spectrum in some way. None of her children are officially diagnosed yet. She thinks that out of her 6 children, only the baby (who is 10 months old) is NT.

The other parent I've met whose child is on the spectrum is a friend of mine. He announced on FB that his 12 year old has just been diagnosed with AS. I sent him a message and said that if he needs any advice, feel free to contact me.

perhaps look at it in a different way.

autism to any level is a challenge,but not a flaw.
a flaw is the impairment of normality,which in autism,woud suggest the person is a 'flawed NT'.
we arent flawed NTs for having autism, we are born wired differently,its like comparing different linux distros; we might be using the same familiar code as the next distro [aka NTs] but we are running on a different kernel,we are impaired not by autism but by the fact this planet is based around the needs/wants/difficulties/differences of NTs; not autistics, this is known as the social model of disability.

are no less a person of equal worth and standing than anyone else so please dont think are flawed for being different.
learn to accept diagnosis;am assuming were diagnosed late? learn to accept self;weaknesses and all [no one is perfect and anyone who thinks so is steaming with narcisism],do not use NTs to compare self to because will always come out looking weaker in places.
have a read about the social model of disability as it relates so much to the autism spectrum,here is a very good simple write up on it to start with-
http://odi.dwp.gov.uk/about-the-odi/the ... -model.php

the extreme end of the social model [of disability] is represented by those who campaign for the removal of disability label from conditions; autism for example.

The situation hasn't come up, but if it did, I would most certainly keep quiet about having AS, just like I always do.

...As I said , I'm ~ maybe?? ` a " horrible example " of " the not very good adulthood waiting for your Aspie kid " , I guess

I usually tell people whether or not they have an autistic kid. If they had an autistic kid, I definitely would tell, and then let them pump me for information in the hopes that it would help their child.

I think I would tell them.

Most often than not, I do, but usually it's dependent on how they talk about their child and the manner in which they bring up the spectrum.

If they know their child is on the spectrum I think I would definitely disclose, especially if I thought I may be able to be helpful.

On the other hand, I have a textbook AS cousin (age 10), and his parents are in complete denial that there is anything really different about him. I see him having the same miserable childhood that I endured, and I really want to help. I feel like the knowledge would be empowering in his case... but I'm scared to bring it up and possibly have his mother get confrontational. I'm trying to work up the courage to go visit them this week. I feel some sort of moral responsibility here.

He's your cousin, not a strange child, so how about by-passing your aunt and talk to the boy. You don't have to shove a label down his throat, you could just say something like you've noticed that he seem to have problems reading body language or whatever else he has problems with, and try to give him pointers. Teach him what you know. As an older cousin you have the advantage of being older and possibly someone he might enjoy having the attention of, and that might make him more likely to listen.
Maybe you can get through to your aunt too if you avoid talking about labels and address his problems and try to work on them.
Just a thought.