The pink elephant in the room

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alien91
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20 Jun 2013, 9:20 pm

is of course the fact that women are just as visual as men and care alot about looks when it comes to choosing a boyfriend, yet the world at large is in complete denial of this. Why does society try to perpetuate the myth that confidence and personality are all that matter to women? Do they think guys like me are blind and dont see how easy all the good looking men have it when comes to dating?all the good looking guys I know have women pursuing them, they dont have to make any effort to get women. They dont have to spend money buying pua e-books or buying new clothes or cologne,nor do they have to send out 1,000s of messages on online dating sites. Women simply make themselves available for these guys.... Why does society deny this? Of course society would say these guys are "CONFIDENT".



1401b
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20 Jun 2013, 9:38 pm

Oh, you're a guy? I thought you were a woman ranting.

NM


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Last edited by 1401b on 20 Jun 2013, 9:56 pm, edited 2 times in total.

Thelibrarian
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20 Jun 2013, 9:46 pm

alien91 wrote:
is of course the fact that women are just as visual as men and care alot about looks when it comes to choosing a boyfriend, yet the world at large is in complete denial of this. Why does society try to perpetuate the myth that confidence and personality are all that matter to women? Do they think guys like me are blind and dont see how easy all the good looking men have it when comes to dating?all the good looking guys I know have women pursuing them, they dont have to make any effort to get women. They dont have to spend money buying pua e-books or buying new clothes or cologne,nor do they have to send out 1,000s of messages on online dating sites. Women simply make themselves available for these guys.... Why does society deny this? Of course society would say these guys are "CONFIDENT".


I've found, and I've seen plenty of social science studies also conclude that women prefer a man who is similar in attractiveness to herself, though women are even willing to let that go in some cases.

Are you telling me you would treat a woman toward whom you harbor romantic aspirations just like you would one of your male friends?

I notice you didn't offer any evidence that woman are just as concerned about physical attractiveness as men. Accordingly, why is it so important for you to believe this as an article of faith?

I think if you find yourself willing to reconsider your views, your luck with women might change.



DefinitelyKmart
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20 Jun 2013, 9:59 pm

hmm funny, when i was younger had confidence had girls, got whacked with depression had none of that, depression lifting/lifted girls returning.... i look the same, perhaps balder.. certainly not better.. course the better looking/richer/famous guys have it easier.. but there are people who could be your doppelganger getting girls.



EmberEyes
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20 Jun 2013, 10:47 pm

I believe -some- women are intentionally choosing men with certain physiological attributes, but -most- women don't conciously do that. I am not arguing that certain things are not hard-wired into our behaviour, nor that other things has been programmed into us by the culture and society we live in, but I do believe that most people, regardless of gender, would rather be with someone physically unappealing with a good heart, than someone beautiful but mean.



billiscool
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20 Jun 2013, 11:01 pm

no it just a coincidence that good looking guys have confidence lol



lost561
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20 Jun 2013, 11:11 pm

The less superficial you are towards women, the less problems you will face from women acting this way towards you. You are probably going for the hot ones



Yuzu
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20 Jun 2013, 11:24 pm

alien91 wrote:
is of course the fact that women are just as visual as men and care alot about looks when it comes to choosing a boyfriend, yet the world at large is in complete denial of this. Why does society try to perpetuate the myth that confidence and personality are all that matter to women?


Looks matters to women but NOT as much as it matters to men.
An ugly guy with a great personality and confidence has better chance of getting a mate than an ugly girl with an even better personality.

So let's just say looks matters to women too, what now?



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21 Jun 2013, 12:25 am

I can't even count the number of aspie males that have complained to me about their lives and then had the audacity to expect me to go on a date with them. If you think you're ugly/worthless/poor/whatever, why would you expect us to be attracted to you? You have to get your act together and convince yourself that you're worthy of a woman. You don't have to blessed with good looks or money; you just have to have genuine drive and self-motivation to improve yourself. A man that runs marathons is sexy. A man that teaches himself to play an instrument is sexy. A man that commits to goals and achieves them is sexy. A man that sits around and complains about his looks or his poor luck is not. It doesn't take any special sort of luck or inborn talent to take care of yourself. It's something that all men have to learn how to do if they ever want success with a girlfriend.


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billiscool
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21 Jun 2013, 12:33 am

rabidmonkey4262 wrote:
A man that runs marathons is sexy.


I ran a marathon before. and told women that, and they didn't fall love with me.



billiscool
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21 Jun 2013, 12:37 am

rabidmonkey4262 wrote:
I can't even count the number of aspie males that have complained to me about their lives and then had the audacity to expect me to go on a date with them. If you think you're ugly/worthless/poor/whatever, why would you expect us to be attracted to you? You have to get your act together and convince yourself that you're worthy of a woman. You don't have to blessed with good looks or money; you just have to have genuine drive and self-motivation to improve yourself. A man that runs marathons is sexy. A man that teaches himself to play an instrument is sexy. A man that commits to goals and achieves them is sexy. A man that sits around and complains about his looks or his poor luck is not. It doesn't take any special sort of luck or inborn talent to take care of yourself. It's something that all men have to learn how to do if they ever want success with a girlfriend.


ugly man runs a marathon, learn a music instrument, or commits a goal and achieves it, is still ugly man.
a shy man does the same thing, hes still a shy man.
a short man does the same, he's still a short man.
women don't magic falls in guys lap because he does something. I should know, no women has ever fell in love with me,
when I tell them I run marathon, 10k, 5k. I've even told a woman I won a 10k age group, and she didn't fall in love me.
so your theory is faulty, sorry.



MCalavera
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21 Jun 2013, 1:45 am

billiscool wrote:
rabidmonkey4262 wrote:
I can't even count the number of aspie males that have complained to me about their lives and then had the audacity to expect me to go on a date with them. If you think you're ugly/worthless/poor/whatever, why would you expect us to be attracted to you? You have to get your act together and convince yourself that you're worthy of a woman. You don't have to blessed with good looks or money; you just have to have genuine drive and self-motivation to improve yourself. A man that runs marathons is sexy. A man that teaches himself to play an instrument is sexy. A man that commits to goals and achieves them is sexy. A man that sits around and complains about his looks or his poor luck is not. It doesn't take any special sort of luck or inborn talent to take care of yourself. It's something that all men have to learn how to do if they ever want success with a girlfriend.


ugly man runs a marathon, learn a music instrument, or commits a goal and achieves it, is still ugly man.
a shy man does the same thing, hes still a shy man.
a short man does the same, he's still a short man.
women don't magic falls in guys lap because he does something. I should know, no women has ever fell in love with me,
when I tell them I run marathon, 10k, 5k. I've even told a woman I won a 10k age group, and she didn't fall in love me.
so your theory is faulty, sorry.


It's possible your own particular Aspie traits are the main reason, not looks or confidence or whatever.

Most NT girls still want who they perceive as a normal guy. If you act too Aspie, that could be an obstacle.



Keni
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21 Jun 2013, 4:28 am

billiscool wrote:
ugly man runs a marathon, learn a music instrument, or commits a goal and achieves it, is still ugly man.
a shy man does the same thing, hes still a shy man.
a short man does the same, he's still a short man.
women don't magic falls in guys lap because he does something. I should know, no women has ever fell in love with me,
when I tell them I run marathon, 10k, 5k. I've even told a woman I won a 10k age group, and she didn't fall in love me.
so your theory is faulty, sorry.


No, women will not fall magically into your lap whatever the size of your wand or other achievements.
Being kind, clever or amusing and having enjoyable time with someone is the starting point.



billiscool
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21 Jun 2013, 10:50 am

MCalavera wrote:

It's possible your own particular Aspie traits are the main reason, not looks or confidence or whatever.

Most NT girls still want who they perceive as a normal guy. If you act too Aspie, that could be an obstacle.


Finally somebody gets it.



JanuaryMan
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21 Jun 2013, 11:51 am

billiscool wrote:
no it just a coincidence that good looking guys have confidence lol


Having undeniably good looks creates confidence. If I looked a lot better, or as good as I did 10 years ago you can bet I would be a lot more confident today.