Page 1 of 1 [ 6 posts ] 

DefinitelyKmart
Toucan
Toucan

User avatar

Joined: 4 Apr 2012
Age: 30
Gender: Male
Posts: 262

23 Jun 2013, 1:45 pm

i know this is only a very minor thing and it might not bother anyone else.. but when i read the Love and dating forum we are often reffered to as possessions.. as if we are beany babies or some kind of toy...
Its usually "My aspie" not my boyfriend with AS "my aspie" as if somehow we are denoted as possesions.. its really quite a pain in the neck.. does this annoy anyone else or am i being daft?



WerewolfPoet
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 3 Mar 2012
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 840

23 Jun 2013, 2:01 pm

You are not unique in this sort of frustration; many women protest against their husbands calling them "my woman." Most people do like to feel as though they are not a "possession."

On the other token, them referring to someone as "my aspie" or "my _____" is usually a term of endearment; the willingness to "claim" someone as one's own, to be associated with that person and see them as a part of themselves, indicates that the person cares strongly about the person in question. NT partners often use terms such as "my sweetie," "my geek," "my princess," "my monkey," "my girl/boy friend," "my pumpkin," "my baby," and so on when referring to one another. The term "my" does not mean "I am in possession of this..." as much as "I am associated with..."


_________________
I am not a textbook case of any particular disorder; I am an abstract, poetic portrayal of neurovariance with which much artistic license was taken.


SphinxFace
Tufted Titmouse
Tufted Titmouse

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jun 2013
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Posts: 41

23 Jun 2013, 2:06 pm

I think there ways people act that annoy everyone. I do it too of course, I have to remind myself to be understanding. I'm sure the people who use those terms do not mean it the way you see it. Saying, "my aspie," is shorter and easier to say than, my partner with AS. They assume people understand they are not trying to be condescending. I don't think you're wron to feel annoyed by it, and its hard to understand the motives of other people sometimes but just try to be more understanding that they don't see it as a problem. I figure as long as it doesn't hurt anyone, then it's ok. Of course there isn't really a way to know of the person being referred to as, "my aspie," knows they are beig referred to this way in most cases.... Now I'm confusing myself...! I just find it easier to not be offended than to try and fix minor things like this I guess? Sorry if this hasn't been a very helpful rant...



The_Walrus
Forum Moderator
Forum Moderator

User avatar

Joined: 27 Jan 2010
Age: 25
Gender: Male
Posts: 7,464
Location: Reading, England

23 Jun 2013, 3:17 pm

My mother/father/brother/sister/son/daughter/cousin/aunt/uncle/friend...

Like WerewolfPoet says, this doesn't mean "The friend that I own", but "the person who is related to me by friendship".



glasstoria
Velociraptor
Velociraptor

User avatar

Joined: 2 Jul 2011
Age: 40
Gender: Female
Posts: 468
Location: Missouri USA

23 Jun 2013, 7:31 pm

I happen to BE a beanie baby, so it doesn't bother me :) I just don't take myself seriously I guess


_________________
Your Aspie score: 165 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 48 of 200
EQ 12 SQ 70 = Extreme Systemizer


Stoek
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 7 Oct 2012
Age: 90
Gender: Male
Posts: 762

23 Jun 2013, 7:41 pm

My personal pet peeve, is the use of possessive terms for autism. Having autism, is like having blindness. It makes no sense in my opinion. It`d be far more accurate to say you lack certain abilities that most nts seem to have. But that`s just my way of looking at it.