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3subjectnotebook
Sea Gull
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24 Jun 2013, 8:11 pm

All in my 24 years of living I've had about four crushes
I generally pay no one any mind but sometimes My mind and body reacts quite peculiar or rather, naturally to the typical stimuli, and I realise that I am in deed human.
Crushes ( all unrequited)
The 7th grade. I had two. (((( Funny to remember back then it was so unsual I had naughty thoughts about a boy and I used to pray for god to be rid me of these unnatural feelings))))))

The 9th grade - rather weak crush

And just last month. At my former workplace, I had to quit. Abruptly because I think I suffered a minor heart attack or maybe it was just my heart being Crushed by my reality.

I can't stop thinking about him, yet I never said a word to him. I didn't even realised how strongly I felt until I felt it.
I was just so afraid of him getting to know me and '
Misjudging my quirkiness for STUPIDITY....because I'm not stupid but sadly the workplace only favours the socially intelligent......so yet again I'm jobless

I guess what I'm just trying to get a cross is
1)I just realised that not only do i not sense other peoples emotion but I I don't sense by own either, I don't catch the beginning of my fall nor during Just when the stimuli gets too intense and I'm sobbing and unravelling on a blog. also I wanna know
How many person have been victim of unrequited love
2How do I go by fitting in at the workplace without people just thinking I'm shy or a doormat.

.



auntblabby
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24 Jun 2013, 8:48 pm

too often for my own good. :oops:



cathylynn
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24 Jun 2013, 10:08 pm

in the early '90's, I had a fellow working for me (he was a friend before he was an employee). One day I realized I was in love with him and broke down in tears. he said he had been aware of me loving him for a while. he was in a relationship, so there was no question of us getting together. neither one of us quit our job. I wonder if you jumped the gun a bit on that. we remained friends until he died two years ago. he was happy for me when I married four years ago.

this time my husband is the one who's madly in love. I respect, like, and appreciate him. we are happy.



3subjectnotebook
Sea Gull
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24 Jun 2013, 11:14 pm

I know I Jumped the gun
The fact is I did plan on leaving sooner or later the social pressure was getting to me, ( it was an org that had an event evry week, and I always felt pressure to participate, or attend or just. Say something in ref to work @ work. But I figured if I have nothing to say I mustn't say nothing less I fall into th trap of ridicule, which I so dare fear.

Even though our mouths said nothing to each other I feel as if our eyes did and I know he liked me (even a lil bit) but 4 whatever reason he just didn't approach me. I didn't approach him then I guess it faded for him when it just began for me and a New girl came and he was on her like white on rice
Why couldn't he persue me like that' i thought ( bear in mind she's HIGHLY sociable.
She said things like " of course love, and no thanks dear and she touched and caressed, in just two days she was in his car( I know this because she talks)
So gave up and let go. It really is confidence which I lack

Mein herz brennt
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Our lives are conceptually aligned to the precision of letting go thus why carry bricks?



auntblabby
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24 Jun 2013, 11:21 pm

3subjectnotebook wrote:
Even though our mouths said nothing to each other I feel as if our eyes did and I know he liked me (even a lil bit) but 4 whatever reason he just didn't approach me. I didn't approach him then I guess it faded for him when it just began for me and a New girl came and he was on her like white on rice Why couldn't he persue me like that' i thought ( bear in mind she's HIGHLY sociable.
She said things like " of course love, and no thanks dear and she touched and caressed, in just two days she was in his car( I know this because she talks)
So gave up and let go. It really is confidence which I lack Mein herz brennt

nothing ventured, nothing gained. don't let your heart burn again, put yourself and your heart out there. you can be nice to some other good man the way the other girl was to the man you wanted.



MjrMajorMajor
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24 Jun 2013, 11:56 pm

That sucks. I know what it's like to be so drawn to a person you've barely had a chance to to even talk to. It wasn't something immediate as much as a gradual unfolding, but it snuck up and left me very confused about my feelings. It was a deep warmth, like turning towards the sun.
Don't worry about fitting in at work as much as just being yourself. People just might accept you with your quirks. Just try to relax and see what happens. :)



Sheerboredom
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25 Jun 2013, 2:59 am

I have felt the same about this girl since 7th grade, now I'm a senior in High School and never even said hi to her. I keep telling myself I'll ask her out as soon as she is single again but every time I see her a part of me wants to say something to her while another part of me just wants her to live her life without me in it. But less about me I will help you now without bringing more of my life into it.

I don't really think I can help with the first point but the second point I can at least try. Try to be more confident take some pride in something you don't let others assume your weak let confident and be out spoken.


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Cilantro
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25 Jun 2013, 4:19 am

I've been in the unrequited love situation, too. I wouldn't say it was unexpected, but I didn't expect a small crush to become something more intense as quickly as it did. I've mostly moved on at this point, though it's a little wistful once in awhile.

I don't know much about fitting in at a workplace, but I will say not to over- or underestimate yourself. Some of them are very active socially while others don't have much going on, and if you wind up in an active one pace yourself rather than trying to do too much at once. Reaching out to coworkers and looking to expand your comfort zone is good, but it's easy to get burnt out if you try to match people who are natural social butterflies.

Good luck finding a nice one. I was once in a workplace that revolved around the interpersonal despite having a store and customer focus by nature, and it felt like I could either do my job diligently and be an outlier or socialize and have poor work ethic.



Bitoku
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25 Jun 2013, 11:19 am

3subjectnotebook wrote:
I guess what I'm just trying to get a cross is
1)I just realised that not only do i not sense other peoples emotion but I I don't sense by own either, I don't catch the beginning of my fall nor during Just when the stimuli gets too intense and I'm sobbing and unravelling on a blog. also I wanna know
How many person have been victim of unrequited love
2How do I go by fitting in at the workplace without people just thinking I'm shy or a doormat.
.

1) It's happened lots of times for me before. I think it's probably a normal thing to experience for most people, and even more so with Aspergers.
2) I struggle with this too. I'm not actually shy, but sometimes can come across that way because it's hard for me to think of things to say in "small talk" situations where the topic of duscussion doesn't really interest me. All I can say is practice in forcing yourself to try to talk a bit more can help a bit, but you may not be able to shake the view of shyness or introversion altogether. But hey, lets of people without Aspergers can come across as those things too and manage to get by, so its not the end of the world if people do sometimes think you're shy.

One thing I'll say about the crush thing though... when I look back in my past, I have more regret about situations where I was interested in someone and never told them, than I do about the situations where I did express interest in someone and was ultimately turned down.



BookPerson
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25 Jun 2013, 11:47 am

I've had a few experiences with unrequited love. In both, it eventually died with time and with both of us continuing on with our lives. I'm a very shy person, and never made any romantic moves with them. When I stopped seeing each of these ladies, there was little to no communication. As time passed, we went in seperate directions and, as happens, changed - one of them changed a lot in one case. Although I still feel a kind of fondness for them, it's not unrequited love anymore. We just changed too much for me to even imagine any kind of romance being possible. And, now that I think about it, I'm okay with this. 8)



Ferrus91
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25 Jun 2013, 1:04 pm

Three or four times. Last week briefly, although it went pretty quickly.

And once when I was a teenager, for a week or two.

But I try to purge myself of it as quickly as possible, as it serves no interest of mine.



3subjectnotebook
Sea Gull
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26 Jun 2013, 9:44 am

thanks for the tips guys



Stalk
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26 Jun 2013, 10:30 am

auntblabby wrote:
3subjectnotebook wrote:
Even though our mouths said nothing to each other I feel as if our eyes did and I know he liked me (even a lil bit) but 4 whatever reason he just didn't approach me. I didn't approach him then I guess it faded for him when it just began for me and a New girl came and he was on her like white on rice Why couldn't he persue me like that' i thought ( bear in mind she's HIGHLY sociable.
She said things like " of course love, and no thanks dear and she touched and caressed, in just two days she was in his car( I know this because she talks)
So gave up and let go. It really is confidence which I lack Mein herz brennt

nothing ventured, nothing gained. don't let your heart burn again, put yourself and your heart out there. you can be nice to some other good man the way the other girl was to the man you wanted.

if there was a like button I would have clicked it :)