What is the proper response...

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when a strange person says, "I saw you, yesterday, at *insert place you were at*!" or "Hello, again." or, "I remember you from the other day!"?

Specifically, I work at a candy/coffee shop. I go to the Subway next door for lunch every day that I work during lunch time. Yesterday, a young-ish man came in to shop, and remarked that he had seen me before, at Subway. And then rambled on something about how he had been sick? I was very lost. So, I replied something along the lines of, "Yes, I was at Subway the other day." and he seemed like that was not the response he was looking for (looked kind of confused? maybe?) So, I thought about it, remembered he'd said he was sick, and told him that I was glad he was feeling better. But it felt weird, and it was awkward. Pretty sure that wasn't the right thing to say, either.

But, I mean, what are you supposed to respond in that situation? My first, automatic thought was, "Thanks!" But I don't think that
"I saw you the other day!"
"Thanks!"
quite works.

Was I supposed to pretend that I had also seen him?
"I saw you the other day!"
"Oh, I remember you!" (even though I didn't)
...and then what?

Is there a better response? Or is there really no un-awkward way to respond to that?

I've been musing over this, because it really threw me off while working, as it isn't something I'm used to responding to.

I don't know if this is the right section for this question, but, I hope it is?

This situation would have me wondering too. I have had people go "Oh hello!" to me a few times that appeared to know me but I didn't recognise. I wonder whether he was flirting and was expecting a flirty response and was thrown when he got a kind of factual statement back from you. If you have prosopagnosia and forget faces he might have expected you to remember the context of how he recognised you specifically, and when you didn't he was confused?

Ohhh. I wonder if he was flirting? I've never really been able to tell that one. And, since I am married, it's my natural inclination to think, "Well, I'm married, so flirting is over." but I guess not everyone knows that or will notice the ring, will they?

Well, I guess the plus side is that, if he was flirting, I'm certain that my awkward response will stop him from doing that again.

I do forget faces; well, actually, I have to make a point to look at faces in the first place, so I guess there's a possibility that he may have been in line with me, or made my sandwich, and I would have forgotten his face or not recognized him out of context. I get so thrown for a loop when someone recognizes me from a chance encounter, specifically for this reason. I have to REALLY want to remember a person's face, and make a point to look at it, in order to remember it. So, I always think, how could a person recognize me so easily, from only seeing me once? I end up assuming they must be some weirdo who decided to stare at me and memorize my face, because that's the only way that *I* would recognize them after seeing them once.

I was in a similar situation to that once last year. I was waiting in the bus station for my bus, and a couple stood near me and said, ''I remember you getting on the bus this morning from [town I live in]''. I just looked at them, said, ''yeah'', and gave a prolonged smile. I didn't know what else to say and felt awkward. After that they kept staring at me as though they could tell I was socially awkward and had a problem with me. I was going to say something else to strike up a light conversation but nothing came into my mind, so I just stood there grinning at them like an idiot. Then a bus-driver who I knew (and fancied) walked by, winked at me and said, ''hello there, darling.'' I said hello and also winked back nervously, because these two people were staring at me and was making me feel uncomfortable.

I hate situations like that what happen to me when out in public.

Last edited by Joe90 on 28 Jun 2013, 3:19 pm, edited 1 time in total.

As far as I can tell it's one of those conversation opener things that don't really have a good response. I usually just respond "oh, really?" and let them talk and be responsible for the conversation after that. They just want to establish that you have something in common (being in the same place at the same time more than once) before they go blabbing to you about all sorts of things. I think they are often looking for friendship, flirting, or a temporary buddy to talk to to pass the time.

If you actually want to talk to them you can say something like "what were you doing here yesterday?" or whatever and even if it's obvious (getting food, duh) it gives an opening to keep talking and maybe mention other things. Sort of like the function of talking about the weather, which is also pretty pointless except for the social aspect of it.

It being a conversation opener makes sense, too. But, then I get caught up with this: What if they are flirting, and if I take it as a "friendly conversation opener" and talk a bit, they take it as flirting back? Is it rude to reply conversationally if I have no intention of reciprocating their...er...advances? I would guess that it would be rude, too, though, to ignore a conversation starter if it turned out that they WERE just trying to be friendly, though.

I think maybe I was more flustered about it than even I usually would be because it was at work, and I'm used to responding to people in a certain way at work. (Professional, friendly, but more of a how-can-I-help-you, how-about-that-weather friendly than a "making friends" friendly.)

Yeah like that's nice that you saw me?! i don't give as s**t unless you're my besto or i genuinely like you which is very few or family i think the right response is supposed to be oh yeah i just nipped in to get so and so because i need it for this which i think is nosey and i don't want to have to justify myself and its boring small talk which i have no time for if someone said that to me i would just say yeah,oh or oh really.

It is bad form to approach retail employees in other (civilian) situations and verbally haul them back to work -- especially in the line of flirtation. Cashiers smile at you when paid; they won't want to for free. Doesn't everybody know this?

I'm not sure what the 'proper' response is, I don't feel there is one.

It may have been a poor chat up attempt or he may have issues that he can't deal with, might even just be lonely.

As long as you are reasonably nice to the guy, there is no need to spend time or energy wondering why this happened.

As someone with face blindness, I regularly have this happen.
My best response is -
Sorry, I wasn't ignoring you.
I am hopeless at recognising people. My partner says I should have a badge saying "clueless".
Then smile.

This establishes polite friendliness and marital status.
Their next response should give you more idea of the intent of the conversation.