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000101
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

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Joined: 27 Jun 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 1

28 Jun 2013, 2:45 pm

Hello.
I've been diagnosed today. It was quite a shock since I never expected to have autism. I am very social and always talk to people when I can. On the other hand I am highly intelligent, have a high IQ and specify in certain subject I find highly interesting, par example, computers/cars/diseases. Now I know all that is written about autism in books and on internet, but I don't know how to live with it.

I have been depressed since I was 14 solely for the reason I do not know who I am, what I want and what I feel. I feel like a stranger to myself.
I get irritated by a lot, but never get mad or aggresive. I give people what they want, I play games to make the person win I want by helping them instead towin myself or let the best player win.
My mind thinks in puzzles, never rests and always has something that needs a solution (or more like 20 solutions).

I love chess. I love interacting with people. I love concentrating on one thing for hours. I like to see new places and travel a lot. But I'm afraid to change my surrounds for a longer period of time. This is hard since I moved about ten times during my childhood.

The past four years (14-18) have felt like I was sleepwalking. I used to have a great photographic memory, but have seemed to have lost it.
My knowledge on everything is high, except emotions. I do not understand them. For me, everything needs to be logical, and emotions are not. They scare me more than anything. So I avoid them.

This said, can anyone tell me how to deal with aspergers, and how I can make myself as comfortable as possible?



cathylynn
Veteran
Veteran

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Joined: 24 Aug 2011
Gender: Female
Posts: 12,217
Location: northeast US

28 Jun 2013, 5:48 pm

I don't know how to deal with AS except to have someone you can rely on to help you over the rough patches. Also to accept that other people will display emotion and that doesn't make them bad. Ask if you can do anything to help if you don't know how to react. I share your interest in diseases. welcome to WP.