being talked about like your not even there

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chris5000
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29 Jun 2013, 9:56 pm

I was at my uncles birthday party with all of my relatives and 3 of my aunts are special education teachers. they were discussing about me with my mom like I was not even there yet I was sitting 5 feet away. they kept pointing out things about me like my eye contact and when I was stimming and other stuff. it made me want to just sink into the ground and die listening to it. I had no idea what to say to them so I went and walked around my uncles farm alone, they probably discussed that too.

anyone else really hate when people talk about you like your not even there?



WerewolfPoet
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29 Jun 2013, 10:04 pm

I have had this happen to me on occasion as well, though I am often so much "in my own world" that other people would not be at fault for assuming that I was not paying attention. :lol:

It can be a rather frustrating experience, though, and I am sorry that you were treated in that manner.


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Wycca
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29 Jun 2013, 10:11 pm

I've had this happen all the time at work. People would be talking about me literally behind my back. As in if I took a step back I would fall over them close. That was really frustrating and made me think they didn't give a darn about my opinion on the matter. That doesn't happen at home very often thankfully.



shortcircuit3
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29 Jun 2013, 10:49 pm

people have done this with me my entire life, in one fashion or another. and i've never understood it; it's entirely contradictory. there's this strange dichotomy of peripheralization and centralization  where your existence is minimized while at the same time being magnified and dissected at length. you're both large and important and diminutive and cast aside. you're important enough to talk about -- but you're not important enough to regard, or include in a conversation regarding your own affairs and behaviors. again, it makes no sense.

i know how frustrating it can be. i usually walk away as well, too, once i realize whats going on. i've found the hard way there's no point in talking to people prone to this kind of thing because it just gives them more conversational fodder.



MjrMajorMajor
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29 Jun 2013, 11:24 pm

WerewolfPoet wrote:
I have had this happen to me on occasion as well, though I am often so much "in my own world" that other people would not be at fault for assuming that I was not paying attention. :lol:

It can be a rather frustrating experience, though, and I am sorry that you were treated in that manner.


This. There are times when I'm not the most responsive when I am paying attention. I had the unfortunate experience of working with someone with a psychology major--he was the worst about it. :x



cathylynn
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30 Jun 2013, 2:30 am

chris5000 wrote:
I was at my uncles birthday party with all of my relatives and 3 of my aunts are special education teachers. they were discussing about me with my mom like I was not even there yet I was sitting 5 feet away. they kept pointing out things about me like my eye contact and when I was stimming and other stuff. it made me want to just sink into the ground and die listening to it. I had no idea what to say to them so I went and walked around my uncles farm alone, they probably discussed that too.

anyone else really hate when people talk about you like your not even there?


they were being rude. they're educated and should know better. if it ever happens again, just say something like, "hey, i'm right here."



MoonCanvas
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30 Jun 2013, 2:52 am

chris5000 wrote:
I was at my uncles birthday party with all of my relatives and 3 of my aunts are special education teachers. they were discussing about me with my mom like I was not even there yet I was sitting 5 feet away. they kept pointing out things about me like my eye contact and when I was stimming and other stuff. it made me want to just sink into the ground and die listening to it. I had no idea what to say to them so I went and walked around my uncles farm alone, they probably discussed that too.

anyone else really hate when people talk about you like your not even there?

This would commonly happen to me as well, people don't consider others with autism to be human beings. Someone already said it; important enough to be spoken about, but unimportant enough to be disregarded.



Quazar
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30 Jun 2013, 3:24 am

story of my life :C



LabPet
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30 Jun 2013, 3:29 am

That's very rude and you certainly do not deserve to be treated in that way. Just shows their lack of ethics and empathy.

Ironic in that neurotypicals point out our 'lack of empathy' (a misnomer; instead it's lack of social intuition) yet they violate their own rule and in such a way as to hurt others.


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