Why do I feel sexually assaulted when called woman?

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As far as I have understood (from NTs), women should be happy when called "women" because it makes them feel sexy. However with me it´s quite the opposite, I feel sexually assaulted. It can be because I don´t "feel" like a woman completely, however I don´t really feel like a man either. I have never been assaulted but I have been bullied alot when I was younger.

Another thing. Up until a few years ago I had no problem with touching my genitals but now I always shut down after I have done it. I´m pretty sure I have vaginismus. Probably started to develop it after I couldn´t put in a tampon correctly, along with all the bullying, me not knowing my sexuality and me being anxious in general. I´ve never been able to put something in there and the idea is kinda gross to me but it wasn´t before.

I don´t want to feel this way. I have thought of going to a gyn but I fear they won´t know what vaginismus is and I´m scared it will hurt.

I think the one thing that could possibly help you is psychosexual therapy because that's probably what's causing the vaginismus. It sounds like you have some gender issues, but I'm not qualified to say what. If you got to a gynaecologist, they normally just give a set of cylinders to dilate your vagina and some lube, which I don't think will help in your case.

I've never had vaginismus or objections to being called a woman but I know people with the same issues as you. Normally the doctors can't help very much but I don't know about psychs.

Yes I do have some gender issues. But I think the problem is how the word "woman" is approached, mostly from my own perspective. I associate the word "woman" with dresses, make up, nail polish, gems and so on. I´m not that. I have no problems with being called a girl though. It´s like I don´t feel mature enough to be called a woman. Sometimes I feel like a girl, sometimes I feel like a boy. It irritates me that I can´t feel like just ONE gender.

I feel suffocated when people call me a woman or a girl. It feels like I'm first punched in the stomach and than choked in a stronghold. Miss is another word that does that to me. I prefer that people call me by my name or my nickname. I also feel assaulted when people are gender specific with me. I'm anatomically female except for my handsome Mick Avory face, but I've felt male on the inside since I was 2. I even used to try peeing in the toilet standing up.

Being called a "lady" bothers me for the same reason. To me a "lady" should always dress perfectly, act with perfect manners, etc. I hate the term "ladylike". If someone tells me "thats not ladylike" I dont give a s**t. I sit like a man, and I dont care.

I feel similar to you, robsten-- I feel very violated when anyone thinks of me as a woman. I'm not sure why that is, although I have some guesses. I definitely have some gender issues to work through.

Part of it I think is that from puberty onwards (and sometimes even before that, ) being female is associated with sex and sexuality. Men are the gender that is considered default human beings; women are the gender that is considered sexual objects. A woman's body is automatically sexualized just having certain body parts and by appearing feminine in any way.

It's just a guess, but this may be why you are more comfortable referring to yourself as a "girl" since it is a return to a time before you had to deal with all of that sexualization, and you could be just yourself instead of being seen as a sexual thing.

Ive had this issue too, for the longest time. I don't feel sexually assaulted, but i certainly do feel that something is expected of me that doesn't come naturally to me. I too have no problems being called a girl. But woman is too much.

When i got my first period, I was told that I was now a woman. My first period was an extremely miserable time physically and emotionally! Since then, I've associated the word "woman" with weakness and loss of control. Before that, I considered myself a tomboy.

I've also been sexually abused at various times, so that could have contributed to my negative feelings.

I've never felt comfortable being called a 'woman' either. 'Person' feels best to me. I've been abused as well (which doesn't help matters) - but was a tomboy before that anyway, so I think I'm just inherently 'agender'.