Answering someone's question with the same question?

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I noticed I do this a lot and it really bothers me.
I'm fine with your average small talk questions "How's it goin", I've developed short cliche responses "Oh, it's goin. How about you?"

But when it comes to questions I don't know how to respond to. Like yesterday someone asked me a sarcastic question not really expecting a serious response, I was walking up the driveway and my brother was standing by his truck and his wife's dog ran up to me and I petted him on the head and he said "Want a dog?". I didn't pick up that he was saying it jokingly (Maybe not completely jokingly lol) but I didn't really know how to respond so I said out of almost reflex "Do I want a dog? Ehhh" and that was the end of that conversation.

Man, I wish just for once I could think of witty replies on the spot on an average basis. I whip a couple out spontaneously every once in awhile but it's rare.

This is because taking literally questions.

'How do you do?' is not intended to be a question, it's just a politeness form. You're messing those protocolary expressions with real questions.

Anyway, it's not that easy, I still can't get used to not to see a question in those expressions.

Well I realized seconds after he was joking but I still didn't really know what to say. "Haha, nope." Isn't really a funny response. Maybe I should take a comedian class or something if those exist, I just wish I didn't appear so serious all the time and could make jokes but it's hard for me to be funny unless I'm doing it unintentionally. Sometimes I don't know if I'm thinking too much about it or too little, but I've tried thinking more or less and it doesn't appear to make a difference.

A lot of us seem to do the thinking out loud response, which is all this is, a little breather to give you a chance to compute the answer.

No need to stress the small stuff, no one can be funny all the time.

I do this too. Try not to reiterate the question, a slight delayed response is fine in my opinion. Just a smile would be an appropriate answer. As long as you don't do those strange forced smiles, that is....

Your brother asked a dumb and inarticulate question.

The best possible answer is your inarcticulate answer.

So I wouldnt worry about it.

You response with "Do I wanna dog...eh?" implies that you're not sure that you heard him right- and/or if you even if you DID hear him right you dont quite get want he meant ( are you seriously offering me your dog?). Both of which were the case.

I wouldve asked him 'come again' as well.


If it was "a joke" then where exactly is the humor?
I, for one, dont even 'get it'.

Ok..I wasnt there and dont know what tone of voice he was using...but sounds like 'a truth spoken in jest' (as Shakespeare said). He probably resents the responsability of taking care of his dog, and observing your seeming affection for the dog-he 'joked' about you taking the dog off his hands, but he may secretly wish someone (not necessarily you in particular) really would take the dog off his hands but doesnt like to admit that in public. Just to state the obvious thing that it looks like.

Last edited by naturalplastic on 01 Jul 2013, 9:10 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I've done this quite a few times... I had a boss who despised my bad handwriting and one day she came up to me and said, "Patrick, I can't read your handwriting... I mean, what does this even say?" So I read it to her. She thought I was being a wise ass... I thought I was being helpful!

Naturalplastic and the OP,

My understanding is this happens when the dog has done something bad or is otherwise seen as a PITA.

The implication is that the animal is too much trouble and needs a new home.

Depending on the speaker and level of sarcasm this could be an attempt to make light of a situation or a real desire to rehome.

It happened to me once, I did not want a dog but he was far better off with me than the guy who was mistreating him. After a bit of love, care and training he turned into an excellent dog.

Maybe it's a variant of echolalia?

its not echolalia, what sounds like is happening is something incredibly common to those who have executive dysfunction issues; a sub concious delaying coping strategy to give the owner of said brain a chance to process the information.
its not only an autistic thing,will find a lot of NTs do it to,especialy those closer to pension age because of the natural worsening of executive function,mum who is mental but definitaly not autistic does this all the time even if its not a question and its just a random word as it takes her time to gain information from the word and will see her mouthing the words that people tell her,as if she is trying to 'feel' them to make sense better.
woe betide anyone doesnt understand her quick enough though.

No thats the perfect response