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HectorRailway
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01 Jul 2013, 5:37 pm

My younger brother is getting really annoyed with me as of late, because he says the stuff I do embarrasses him. That makes no sense! If I do something, then why does he get embarrassed? He's not the one doing it. I am. And if I'm not embarrassed by something I'm doing, how could somebody get embarrassed by something somebody else is doing? Please, if you can explain it to me, I'd be grateful.



Max000
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01 Jul 2013, 5:51 pm

HectorRailway wrote:
My younger brother is getting really annoyed with me as of late, because he says the stuff I do embarrasses him. That makes no sense! If I do something, then why does he get embarrassed? He's not the one doing it. I am. And if I'm not embarrassed by something I'm doing, how could somebody get embarrassed by something somebody else is doing? Please, if you can explain it to me, I'd be grateful.


What is the stuff you do that he says embarrasses him?



naturalplastic
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01 Jul 2013, 6:22 pm

It would be helpful to know what things you do.

But people whom you're affiliated with expect you to present a united front in public with outsiders. Any group (like your coworkers), but especially family members. So if you act ret*d at a social gathering in which your immediate family interacts with outsiders then your immediate family can be expected to be embarrassed because you're making the whole family look bad.

Hope that makes sense.

A group member can make the whole group look bad- and/or make the whole group THINK that it looks bad. So thats how a person can be embarrassed by someone else's behavior.

Dont know whether its fair or not, but that how people think.



Skilpadde
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01 Jul 2013, 8:47 pm

Like naturalplastic said, people you have a bond with will feel that what you do reflects on them.
I don't know what you did but I can tell you about an occasion where I was embarrassed by someone else.

When I was 11 a classmate and I was in a grocery store buying a couple of chocolates and got in line to pay for them. A woman was standing in front of us. We were in no hurry, we had nowhere we had to be, yet the other girl asked her if we could g before her. I thought it was very cheeky to ask the woman that when we were in no hurry. It made me feel like my classmate made us both look like rude children, so I was embarrassed. The woman just smiled and said yes. I mumbled a 'thanks' to her, but I really wanted to apologize instead.

There have been other instances too, but that was the first to come to mind.


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Claradoon
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01 Jul 2013, 10:32 pm

HectorRailway wrote:
My younger brother is getting really annoyed with me as of late, because he says the stuff I do embarrasses him. That makes no sense! If I do something, then why does he get embarrassed? He's not the one doing it. I am. And if I'm not embarrassed by something I'm doing, how could somebody get embarrassed by something somebody else is doing? Please, if you can explain it to me, I'd be grateful.


It's good to find out exactly what's embarrassing and refrain from it if you can.

However, I have to tell you that my sister used "You're embarrassing me" as a power trip, and I was so accommodating that I was under her thumb and our relation was toxic and darn near ruined me and I had no self-respect etc etc etc.

So save some for yourself. You weren't put on this planet to shape-change into somebody else's ideal.

Maybe your brother is at the peer pressure age, where everything is embarrassing. Whatever it is, tell him you only have so much capacity to change to doing things his way. Maybe you can meet in the middle.

Good luck!