South Florida parents struggling with violent child

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I'm a reporter at the South Florida Sun Sentinel, and I'm working on a long-term project about the mental health systems in Broward and Palm Beach counties. I want to talk with as many parents as I can who have interacted, or not interacted, with local programs, services and law enforcement. Much of the story will focus on how our community handles emergency situations.

If you think you can help me, please call or send an email by July 17. I'd very much appreciate your thoughts, and I look forward to talking with you.

Best wishes,

Ben Wolford
Sun Sentinel staff writer
561-243-6602
bwolford [at] sunsentinel [dot] com

The topic of your post bothers me. Why would you post it on a discussion board for families with Autism/Asperger's? This is a perception that the media perpetuates that stigmatizes children on the Autism spectrum. Some children on the Autism spectrum do suffer from other psychiatric issues that may cause them to exhibit violent behavior. It isn't the Autism/Asperger's that causes them to be violent. Please be sensitive to this difference and don't be part of the media that continues to perpetuate this misconception.
Thank you.

I realize not all children on the autism spectrum exhibit aggressive behavior, and I also realize these children may have other disorders. It's certainly not my intention to stigmatize anyone. If anything, the goal of my project is to de-stigmatize these children.

Just to be clear, my story focuses on parents who are dealing with difficult behavior, feel isolated, and do not know how best to help their child. This does happen to parents of children on the autism spectrum, which is why I posted here. I'm also reaching out to local therapists and mental health professionals to identify parents of children with other types of developmental disorders.

All that said, I won't pretend to understand these issues that you all understand so well. I never had a family member on the spectrum, though I've been doing research. If you have any tips or concerns as I work on this project, I'd love to hear from you.

Thanks for your reply. I didn't mean to seem so myopic about mental health.

Ben

Yup, I have to agree with the second post.

You will forgive us if we are collectively suspicious of reporters. Allow me to show you one instance of actually living with the media's representation of autism: http://www.wrongplanet.net/postt234011.html

You may well have good intentions, but your original post suggests that instead of approaching mental health issues from the perspective of resources and whether or not families' basic needs are being met met, you are starting with the most sensationalistic aspect of the story possible.

Any given group of parents is going to have a subset that meets your criterion: the things you describe here are part of the human condition and are not exclusive to any neurology or mental makeup.

In my case, the angle was chosen for me when an 18-year-old with autism was shot and killed late last year by a Palm Beach County Sheriff's deputy. His name was Michael Camberdella. His situation is the basis of my project, which seeks to prevent something like that from ever happening again. Maybe it's sensational, but it's also tragic. I want to find out how it happened and why, by exploring the resources that are available to parents, finding out what their lives are like and finding out what kind of training law enforcement receive.

I had thought parents would contact me and then I could explain more, but I wasn't anticipating this kind of skepticism. I believe in the power of good journalism to change the way society views things. My hope is that my project will create a better value system around mental health issues in South Florida.

Thanks again,

Ben

The sad truth is that this young man is far from alone. We hear stories like this all the time - or worse, those killed by their own caregivers, or trapped in abusive facilities. However, this problem is not with parents (unless they are the abuser) nor with autistic people, and I assume the thundering silence in response to your post is because others agree with me.

Why don't you start with the system itself? Why aren't you talking to law enforcement agencies and educators about best practices, why aren't you looking at mental health services and facilities and the people who provide oversight? Why on earth would you ask random parents who have nothing to do with this incident about it?

While I agree that good journalism can make positive change, it's all about the perspective a journalist chooses. Starting from the premise "my story focuses on parents who are dealing with difficult behavior, feel isolated, and do not know how best to help their child" suggests to me that your focus is absolutely in the wrong place.

I disagree with other respondents. Whilst I do think the thread title is misleading and not appropriate for the subject matter (and can be edited OP), I think if he were to approach those agencies he would get the spiel about what they officially offer, or what their policies are, but not get the real truth as to what is provided on the ground when it comes down to it. There are a lack of resources everywhere for autistic people. Only parents of autistic children can speak for what they are provided for their child. Services often say they don't have the funding to provide what they might be expected to by law too.

I think he did the correct thing posting here, he just needs to edit the title to something like:

"Florida parents' experiences of services please?"

I agree with Momsparky,

OP, I understand why you would think that attempting to "empathize" with parents' struggles by taking a "woe is you," approach might seem attractive to parents.

Here's the thing: Most of us have too much jaded experience with people claiming to empathize with us about our kids. When they do, it tends to be condescending and they treat the child him/herself as some kind of obstacle or sometimes worse.

Our children aren't obstacles. They are people. Your post's title seems to imply that the parent is struggling against the child, as opposed to working with the child and struggling against what is outside.

Maybe as Whirlingmind says, you need a post subject change; but, yeah, we are going to be skeptical. The media does not, as a rule, have a sympathetic eye towards our children. We are not desperate for any and all "awareness" coverage. We need evidence it will be helpful, not harmful, and I am not sure why this surprises you.

I think the title of this post is misleading, for someone who is needing help with a project. I think you would have received a more supportive response if you had been honest and forthright with your post. Personally, I clicked onto this thread thinking you were the struggling parent of a violent child and I think your phrasing was purposely done.

Given the direction this dialogue has gone, I'm not going to respond anymore to individual posts. However, I'm eager to talk individually with those willing to help me learn about this subject. I appreciate all the feedback.

Best wishes,

Ben

561-243-6602