Great Moments in WP Love & Dating History

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JanuaryMan
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14 Jul 2013, 3:44 pm

You're entitled to like what you like, and you shouldn't pay too much mind to people that judge you for it.
We're almost all shallow in our own ways. No biggy.

Just know not everyone will agree with you, some might even be rather critical about your views. If someone goes a bit too far report it.
Lashing out any single thing inc. non-related criticism won't solve anything though.

FYI, there's always going to be an air of mystery about something that was said that gets removed if the reader doesn't get a chance to see it. Without seeing a post before its deletion its very hard to approve or disapprove, so of course I'm going to respect the decision of the person who asked a post be removed. Does that mean I can't form an opinion about someone who does this on a continual basis? Cmon! :P chill.

The thing about real life is... it rarely if ever gives us the opportunity to "take back" words as if they never happened whenever we make mistakes. We have to live with the words we have spoken, and build upon the foundations of any ruins. Sometimes, that may never be possible because what we say is simply too much. That is the beauty of opportunity and chance. I personally don't think you should have to defend yourself too much about what it is you like or don't like about suitors. That is your choice, and peoples' opinions are separate. I hope you choose to leave what you are saying up.



MjrMajorMajor
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15 Jul 2013, 12:19 am

Learning to accept or deflect criticism at will is an acquired but useful skill. I don't understand the fuss...are there also puppy brains being served daily or something? :scratch:



MCalavera
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15 Jul 2013, 3:30 am

smudge wrote:
And Shatbat - you weren't making a judgement against MCalavera, he was making a judgement against me and you simply said that it wasn't worth judging me. Thank you for standing up for me.


I challenge you to point to where I made a judgement against you. I was merely commenting on a point you made about how all forms of attraction are equally shallow.



Shatbat
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15 Jul 2013, 5:10 am

@McCalavera: You did say attraction to wealth was extremely shallow. Although that statement by itself does not strictly mean you think someone who is attracted to wealth is an extremely shallow person, there is certainly a strong implication there. Although I question whether you knew that or not, the fact this is an aspie forum and that I don't really know how you act gives you plausible deniability on my eyes. Besides, attacking a belief does not necessarily mean you attack the one who professes it, otherwise PPR would be a mess :lol:

smudge, first, you're welcome :)
All I want to say now is, be mindful of how you react to criticism, or even personal attacks. By now you should already know "I find wealth attractive" is an unpopular belief, and that you will get attacked because of it. Boo was the one who brought that up, not you, so I can't say you should have been prepared for it because it just came up, but in this specific instance you could have reacted better. From your previous post I can see last time you professed this belief you were attacked, and being a lone voice amidst a sea of attackers is quite taxing; I guess that's one of the reasons I stepped in. But once you start lashing out and attacking other people you lose credibility, you give mindless attackers an excuse to keep going, you alienate well-meaning people and you undermine yourself. Even worse if it is indiscriminate; Mjr and JanuaryMan are actually good people as far as I know, and you almost made enemies out of them instead of allies. Even if you are unambiguously, personally attacked, if you do the same you're letting yourself be pulled down to their level.


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blue_bean
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15 Jul 2013, 5:27 am

I posted that I wanted someone employed once and I got accused of discrimination, as if blue_bean's boyfriend is a formal job position in itself. Still waiting for the letter from their lawyer. Maybe they sent it to the wrong address.



MCalavera
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15 Jul 2013, 5:42 am

Shatbat wrote:
@McCalavera: You did say attraction to wealth was extremely shallow. Although that statement by itself does not strictly mean you think someone who is attracted to wealth is an extremely shallow person, there is certainly a strong implication there. Although I question whether you knew that or not, the fact this is an aspie forum and that I don't really know how you act gives you plausible deniability on my eyes. Besides, attacking a belief does not necessarily mean you attack the one who professes it, otherwise PPR would be a mess :lol:


You do realize that it was smudge who said that all forms of attraction were shallow. Why not make the argument that she was judging us all as shallow as well?



Kjas
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15 Jul 2013, 6:42 am

Shatbat wrote:
smudge, first, you're welcome :)
All I want to say now is, be mindful of how you react to criticism, or even personal attacks. By now you should already know "I find wealth attractive" is an unpopular belief, and that you will get attacked because of it. Boo was the one who brought that up, not you, so I can't say you should have been prepared for it because it just came up, but in this specific instance you could have reacted better. From your previous post I can see last time you professed this belief you were attacked, and being a lone voice amidst a sea of attackers is quite taxing; I guess that's one of the reasons I stepped in. But once you start lashing out and attacking other people you lose credibility, you give mindless attackers an excuse to keep going, you alienate well-meaning people and you undermine yourself. Even worse if it is indiscriminate; Mjr and JanuaryMan are actually good people as far as I know, and you almost made enemies out of them instead of allies. Even if you are unambiguously, personally attacked, if you do the same you're letting yourself be pulled down to their level.


She's been attacked repeatedly on multiple occasions. It gets old, especially when it's the same people going after her again and again.


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MjrMajorMajor
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15 Jul 2013, 6:51 am

Kjas wrote:
Shatbat wrote:
smudge, first, you're welcome :)
All I want to say now is, be mindful of how you react to criticism, or even personal attacks. By now you should already know "I find wealth attractive" is an unpopular belief, and that you will get attacked because of it. Boo was the one who brought that up, not you, so I can't say you should have been prepared for it because it just came up, but in this specific instance you could have reacted better. From your previous post I can see last time you professed this belief you were attacked, and being a lone voice amidst a sea of attackers is quite taxing; I guess that's one of the reasons I stepped in. But once you start lashing out and attacking other people you lose credibility, you give mindless attackers an excuse to keep going, you alienate well-meaning people and you undermine yourself. Even worse if it is indiscriminate; Mjr and JanuaryMan are actually good people as far as I know, and you almost made enemies out of them instead of allies. Even if you are unambiguously, personally attacked, if you do the same you're letting yourself be pulled down to their level.


She's been attacked repeatedly on multiple occasions. It gets old, especially when it's the same people going after her again and again.


Disagreement and debate is not the same as a personal attack. If someone presents an unpopular(but by no means uncommon in this case) belief, it's unreasonable to expect unanimous agreement. :?



Shatbat
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15 Jul 2013, 7:02 am

Kjas wrote:
She's been attacked repeatedly on multiple occasions. It gets old, especially when it's the same people going after her again and again.


Well, that confirms my suspicions, I did assume this had happened at least once; knowing that it has been several times makes it worse for her, being in that kind of situation just once sucks, let alone repeatedly.

But the main point still stands; even telling those aggressors to **** themselves does not accomplish anything, much less if it is someone who hasn't done anything wrong.

Mjr, I'll take that one up :lol: I didn't quite get your argument last time, what's the difference between being attracted to physical appearance and being attracted to wealth? And in a more general case, if attraction is not a choice but something built-in, is it right to judge people on what they feel attracted to without knowledge on the way they act on those attractions?

Oh and @McCalavera: Saying all forms of attraction are shallow is another way to say none is. The purpose of that statement would be to put people in a contradiction; they can't say "smudge is shallow" without admitting it in themselves as well.


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MjrMajorMajor
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15 Jul 2013, 7:31 am

Shatbat wrote:

Mjr, I'll take that one up :lol: I didn't quite get your argument last time, what's the difference between being attracted to physical appearance and being attracted to wealth? And in a more general case, if attraction is not a choice but something built-in, is it right to judge people on what they feel attracted to without knowledge on the way they act on those attractions?


You have Joe Schmoe A on one side with five dollars to his name.
Here is Joe Schmoe B with five million and a possible golden umbrella in the future.

If they are otherwise identical, then how would someone be attracted to wealth itself? That money is a separate entity from Joe B, and is just something he "has".

I believe a more accurate statement would be "I'm attracted to a representative of a certain lifestyle", or perhaps "I'm attracted to qualities that have facilitated professional success". To state it otherwise seems to be centered towards the bank account, and not the individual. Probably just semantics, but that's how I see it. :shrug:



The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Jul 2013, 7:35 am

The_Face_of_Boo wrote:
^ tech is not rich so blueroses is wrong :lol:


Kjas, my post wasn't meant to be an attack against smudge again and again - it was simply a pun joke AND a clarification to blueroses why the user tech wouldn't be a good match for smudge because I know he doesn't fit her standards. It was blueroses who suggested tech for smudge so I told blueroses why this matching is invalid.

Anyway, smudge's preference is just a fantasy of hers, she will never going to have a millionaire man. So I say let her dream.



The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Jul 2013, 7:50 am

...



Last edited by The_Face_of_Boo on 15 Jul 2013, 8:24 am, edited 1 time in total.

The_Face_of_Boo
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15 Jul 2013, 8:06 am

JM, check your pm to see my guide of how to be a gentleman with such ladies.



Shatbat
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15 Jul 2013, 8:12 am

Boo, that issue between smudge and JanuaryMan was on its way to be resolved peacefully, why do you have to bring up antagonism?

Your last comment on yor previous post, being derisive and making a strong implication of her being self-deluded, and you are also being dismissive, why?

Honestly, you're just being disruptive, at least in this occasion.


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MCalavera
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15 Jul 2013, 8:16 am

Shatbat wrote:
Oh and @McCalavera: Saying all forms of attraction are shallow is another way to say none is. The purpose of that statement would be to put people in a contradiction; they can't say "smudge is shallow" without admitting it in themselves as well.


So, by your argument about me being judgmental against her, she too was being judgmental, implying that we are all shallow. What if some people don't consider some forms of attraction as shallow (or as equally shallow as being attracted to wealth)? If they were overly sensitive, they would've considered smudge's comment an attack just as well as you took my remark as an attack against her.

A hint for next time. If you want to try to read between the lines, judge by the context. The context was clear. She made a comment and I tried to negate it by saying that what she's implying is not the case.

Enough with the hypersensitivities and get real, people.