Screw Working, and Screw the DSHS

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I had a meeting with a Department of Vocational Rehibilitation counselor today. I walked out, because I was tired of hearing the same pat advice and warnings against "self-diagnosis" (because the sorcerers who went to a guild are so wise), when I clearly said that the point wasn't even whether I had 'Asperger's' but the fact that I've been depressed, angry, alienated and occasionally suicidal for the past fifteen years. I told her I can work practically, but as long as I am feeling like I have been I can not function enough at all to get a job; and having employment does not (From my experience work).

She basically said she had already decided I wasn't qualified, and that she "didn't want me to have Asperger's syndrome" (again, irrelevant to what I was saying) and that I ought to just go over to Worksource. As though I'm a f*****g idiot, and don't understand how to operate a computer or make phone calls; that doesn't help when you hate almost everyone and find being around casual conversation and television chatter almost unbearable. This 'counselor' kept the whole attitude the entire time, it started before I had even said anything. Having moved around my entire life, never having a regular doctor or counselor and having never been able to connect to or trust anyone she had basically decided that because a Seattle Children's Hospital stay (involuntary confinement) hadn't found me stabbing people or crying in the corner that I didn't qualify for their little vote-buying scheme.

I am just sick of trying, if this is the kind of pigs and morons I have to deal with to 'get along' in this world I'd rather be a homeless drug addict until I die. I blocked them on my email, I'd rather burn every bridge I have than put up with a whole species I have nothing but contempt for anymore.

Figures. Seek help, only to immediately confront ignorance and BS. There is a lot of that in this world.

I guess you ought to find another opinion, or two or however many it takes. I imagine the psych industry is as subject to personal bias as any, so finding someone that seems competent and sincere would be a top priority in my opinion. "I don't want you to have Aspergers" does NOT sound like something a competent counselor would say.

You know, though, I think the way our whole system is set up is geared towards making people conform and hide their true selves, and just work their joy away for years until they lose heart. Not everyone ends up like that, but... that kind of life - and the loss of hopes and dreams that usually goes with it - makes people just not give a s**t. It's just work. So to your counselor, you're just work, like the last guy, and the next guy, in a steady stream of people with crazy stories. If she's too generous or whatever (not sure of the specifics in your case), I bet there's some guy waiting to reprimand her as soon as you leave.

Of course thats just a bunch of speculation and venting on my own part... But man, I feel for you. It's hard to stay positive a lot of the time... But that being said, I kind of feel lucky to have been born an outsider to this world built by those before us, and ruled by sociopaths. Gives a unique perspective.