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billiscool
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10 Jul 2013, 10:32 pm

some folks here have told me they have meltdowns.
what does that mean



Sethno
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10 Jul 2013, 10:44 pm

billiscool wrote:
some folks here have told me they have meltdowns.
what does that mean



My understanding is that it means to be so overwhelmed there's either a mental/emotional shutdown, or an eruption of emotion in response to something that's happened, even if that eruption is supressed/delayed, and the person is "simmering"...until a bit later.


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10 Jul 2013, 10:55 pm

when my late father went into diabetic shock, he just stopped functioning and went into a stupor. that is what happens to me when I run out of spare neurons in my brain. it is like when your puter runs out of memory and just locks up.



skibum
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25 Jul 2013, 8:06 pm

There are a few threads on meltdowns on this forum where people have been very open and descriptive of what they experience. I have a very good description of what I go through on this thread: Melt downs: causes/downsides/"symptoms" etc

Feel free to take a look. I did not copy and paste my post for you here because I think that they prefer that we don't duplicate posts on different threads on this forum.



HopefulFlower
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26 Jul 2013, 6:35 am

My meltdowns LOOK like a childs temper tantrum but they are not. I get violent and scream and throw things and cry. It's being too overwhelmed and also having lack of control over the situation. I can't take it so I lose it. It can be a more angry-like feeling from the overwhelming or a panic. Unlike I childs temper tantrum you don't grow out of them. I had to be put on medication because of them.

http://www.autismems.net/57801/82012.html <-- That link talks about autistic meltdowns.


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diablo77
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26 Jul 2013, 7:50 am

HopefulFlower wrote:
My meltdowns LOOK like a childs temper tantrum but they are not. I get violent and scream and throw things and cry. It's being too overwhelmed and also having lack of control over the situation. I can't take it so I lose it. It can be a more angry-like feeling from the overwhelming or a panic. Unlike I childs temper tantrum you don't grow out of them. I had to be put on medication because of them.

http://www.autismems.net/57801/82012.html <-- That link talks about autistic meltdowns.


Yeah, me too. I didn't actually know "meltdowns" was common wording for it until I found autism communities like this one; that was what my mother always called them because I found the word "tantrum" too upsetting. Especially since I can't really control them.



skibum
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26 Jul 2013, 1:16 pm

[quote="

http://www.autismems.net/57801/82012.html <-- That link talks about autistic meltdowns.[/quote]

I looked at this link and it's good. I sent it to one of my relatives to help them understand a little more about meltdowns. I will say this about it though, I think it is hard to make blanket statements. I believe that everyone has meltdowns from system overload, that I really believe is true. I don't want to say that every single thing that the article says is necessarily true for everyone across the board though. For example, it says that if someone is having a meltdown you should not touch them because you will make it worse. I believe that those of us who have a strong aversion to touch because they are hypersensitive in that area will definitely find it too stressful to be touched in a meltdown. I am the opposite. When I am in a meltdown I can really be calmed by a big strong hug but only from certain people that I really trust. It makes me feel safe and helps my nuerosystem to relax. I also understand the consequences of throwing and breaking things so I don't do it. I don't lose the ability to understand that when I am in a meltdown. If I have a head banging meltdown, however, and those are caused by more of an anger trigger as the other types I have are more from anxiety or fear, then I can lose sight of the consequences and dangers of banging my head and that can be a problem. But fortunately those are few and far between. I used to have them a lot more in the past.

And sometimes if I feel a meltdown coming and I am in public I can find ways to hold it off by zoning out or fixating on something but as soon as I am in a private "safe" place again, it can come full force and then I have to go through it.

So that article does give a good general overview but I think that for each person his or her meltdowns are unique to him or her and each person experiences them a bit differently.



Last edited by skibum on 26 Jul 2013, 2:53 pm, edited 1 time in total.

xarrid
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26 Jul 2013, 1:36 pm

billiscool wrote:
some folks here have told me they have meltdowns.
what does that mean


As I'm on the precipice of having a meltdown I'll explain exactly what is going on and what will happen when the other shoe drops.

I am in the middle of buying a home, I am suppose to close next week. Today the bank calls me and says they need paperwork that doesn't exist and I have explained multiple times that it doesn't exist in the past 3 weeks and explained this to them 2 times today. On top of which I have my boss asking me if work is done that I can't do because I'm waiting on another dept to actually do something, my wife keeps calling me to tell me the bank called, my realestate agent is asking me for another peice of paperwork. My mind is extremely overload, everything is way to loud lights are way to bright, people's voices and words are pushing my anger button. I am sweating profusely, I can no longer control the twitch in my right arm and my entire NT mask is going to explode. When it does, the filter I put in between my mouth and brain will be removed and people will get to hear exactly how stupid, illogical I think they are and how the my world would be better if they just removed themselves from the gene pool. I will probably throw things and will cry. Heck I'm almost in tears right now thinking about could very well happen in the next 30 mins. I can't stop it from happening, the train has left the station. Only something extremely good happening to derail it will happen, normally I would leave the office till it has passed or the meltdown occurs, unfortualy today is one of those days that is not an option. I'll do my best to make it to a private conference room or the bathroom before it happens but there is no guarentees at this point.

That is a meltdown for me, it's ugly nasty and very much detremental to deal with NT's.

Update: a female co-worker dropped a little cup of soft ice cream with sprinkles on my desk and said "it looks like you could use this more than me right now". I'm very much not going to have an explosive meltdown, I'm fighting back tears, but the sensory overload is satrting to go down. I can think much more clearly and calmly. I hate having meltdowns, they scare me because I no longer feel like Im in control of myself.



skibum
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26 Jul 2013, 2:58 pm

xarrid wrote:
billiscool wrote:
some folks here have told me they have meltdowns.
what does that mean


As I'm on the precipice of having a meltdown I'll explain exactly what is going on and what will happen when the other shoe drops.

I am in the middle of buying a home, I am suppose to close next week. Today the bank calls me and says they need paperwork that doesn't exist and I have explained multiple times that it doesn't exist in the past 3 weeks and explained this to them 2 times today. On top of which I have my boss asking me if work is done that I can't do because I'm waiting on another dept to actually do something, my wife keeps calling me to tell me the bank called, my realestate agent is asking me for another peice of paperwork. My mind is extremely overload, everything is way to loud lights are way to bright, people's voices and words are pushing my anger button. I am sweating profusely, I can no longer control the twitch in my right arm and my entire NT mask is going to explode. When it does, the filter I put in between my mouth and brain will be removed and people will get to hear exactly how stupid, illogical I think they are and how the my world would be better if they just removed themselves from the gene pool. I will probably throw things and will cry. Heck I'm almost in tears right now thinking about could very well happen in the next 30 mins. I can't stop it from happening, the train has left the station. Only something extremely good happening to derail it will happen, normally I would leave the office till it has passed or the meltdown occurs, unfortualy today is one of those days that is not an option. I'll do my best to make it to a private conference room or the bathroom before it happens but there is no guarentees at this point.

That is a meltdown for me, it's ugly nasty and very much detremental to deal with NT's.

Update: a female co-worker dropped a little cup of soft ice cream with sprinkles on my desk and said "it looks like you could use this more than me right now". I'm very much not going to have an explosive meltdown, I'm fighting back tears, but the sensory overload is satrting to go down. I can think much more clearly and calmly. I hate having meltdowns, they scare me because I no longer feel like Im in control of myself.


Thank you for sharing this with us. Here's a big hug if you are not touch sensitive. If you are, consider it an air hug! I will send good thoughts for you that all goes well with your work deadline and with your new home so that you and your wife can enjoy it.

I had one two days ago from an onslaught of emotions from a variety of personal challenges. Mine was all crying and screaming like a two year old, holding my stuffed animal and rocking for about an hour and a half and then followed by an intense migraine when it was over. Fortunately I was home alone so I was able to get through it without freaking anyone else out. I wonder if every minute of every day and night there is an Autie or as Aspie somewhere having a meltdown. Makes me feel better that I am not alone.



xarrid
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26 Jul 2013, 3:19 pm

skibum wrote:
Thank you for sharing this with us. Here's a big hug if you are not touch sensitive. If you are, consider it an air hug! I will send good thoughts for you that all goes well with your work deadline and with your new home so that you and your wife can enjoy it.

I had one two days ago from an onslaught of emotions from a variety of personal challenges. Mine was all crying and screaming like a two year old, holding my stuffed animal and rocking for about an hour and a half and then followed by an intense migraine when it was over. Fortunately I was home alone so I was able to get through it without freaking anyone else out. I wonder if every minute of every day and night there is an Autie or as Aspie somewhere having a meltdown. Makes me feel better that I am not alone.


Thank you for the air hug, I also appreciate your well wishes. If I might ask, how often do you have a meltdown? I am finding that the older I get the more and more they occur but the older I get the more and more stress I have to take on to support my wife and son.

HopefulFlower wrote:
My meltdowns LOOK like a childs temper tantrum but they are not. I get violent and scream and throw things and cry. It's being too overwhelmed and also having lack of control over the situation. I can't take it so I lose it. It can be a more angry-like feeling from the overwhelming or a panic. Unlike I childs temper tantrum you don't grow out of them. I had to be put on medication because of them.

http://www.autismems.net/57801/82012.html <-- That link talks about autistic meltdowns.


I also just read this, that pretty much explains it in a nutshell.



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26 Jul 2013, 5:08 pm

For me it's a total flipout. I cannot think correctly and cannot even access my thoughts to put together a coherent sentence or opinion at times. It's like I switch over to total instinct mode. I need specific things done and said to help calm me down but I can't ask for them because even though I'm usually pretty good at getting my point across I am completely unable to at the time. And when I do get a point across it's the wrong one and not what I mean. There have been times when during a meltdown I've insisted that I want the opposite of what I do, knowing deep down in there that I don't mean it. There are many examples of me in a meltdown on here, and while that is bad, in real life I will slam doors, throw things, break things and sometimes even sit on the floor and just scream, slap myself, scratch my face, bang my head against the wall, etc. There have been times when I've lose all my words and could just scream instead.

There are levels of them for me. Sometimes they are minor and go away quickly and I can actually get to someplace quiet and shut the door and punch my pillows or growl or something. Others go on for hours. Sometimes I'm at the edge of one and constantly slip in and out of it.

Sometimes even though I can't think right, there is a rational part of my brain in there trying to tell me "You are really messing things up by doing this, stop right now" and while I know it and even "hear" it in my head I am unable to stop myself.

I recently had a pretty big meltdown after being at the edge of one for a while. Mine don't come suddenly anymore. They come from stress and things building up and building up and building up. Its sort of like I kept carrying the stress and I was slipping closer and closer into having it but not falling all the way in, and like in labor you get to the point where you lose all control and it has to just come out and you can't help it. An analogy for me would be that a meltdown for me is like the mental version of having a baby. The buildup is like labor and the actual meltdown is like pushing - once you start you are helpless to stop and there is going to be a lot of screaming and cussing involved and it might get physical.


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TiredMom
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26 Jul 2013, 5:13 pm

Thank you for sharing your story. I'm NT, and even I would have a meltdown if I had all the stuff going on that you do. (It really is a spectrum, folks--NT's just have it a little less than Aspies). Bravo for holding it together as well as you have.
It sounds like your co-worker's thoughtful action helped stop the move towards meltdown. My question is: do your co-workers know you have Aspergers and that meltdowns are a possibility? Or was this a random act of kindness?



xarrid
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26 Jul 2013, 5:47 pm

TiredMom wrote:
Thank you for sharing your story. I'm NT, and even I would have a meltdown if I had all the stuff going on that you do. (It really is a spectrum, folks--NT's just have it a little less than Aspies). Bravo for holding it together as well as you have.
It sounds like your co-worker's thoughtful action helped stop the move towards meltdown. My question is: do your co-workers know you have Aspergers and that meltdowns are a possibility? Or was this a random act of kindness?


They know I'm not normal, but they dont know of the "label". If I told them, several of them would figure out how to trigger a meltdown just to bully me. Even though i work in IT my dept is full of people who should... I'll just leave it as they are not nice nor smart people. Actually this was the world's biggest act of kindness because I don't even know who she is/was, just where they have my cubical located made this happen.



Last edited by xarrid on 26 Jul 2013, 6:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.

skibum
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26 Jul 2013, 5:59 pm

Wow that really was sweet of her especially if you did not know her. It's good to hear that there some nice people around.