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Eloah
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21 Jul 2013, 7:31 am

InThisTogether wrote:
And I remember feeling really mad as a kid because my parents would accuse me of being lazy or dawdling, but I wasn't. And when I would tell them that I wasn't, they wouldn't believe me. I guess the point I am trying to make is blaming the person who suffers with the problem by attributing it to something that they control will not help make anything better, and may only make them feel worse.


I'd have to agree with this. My parents never understood why I couldn't just jump up in the morning like they could. They didn't understand when I'd say I feel ill and like I'm being electrocuted when I try to do that.

I always used to envy my brothers, who were able to wake up five minutes before they needed to leave for somewhere, and be out the door on time. I always wished I could get that extra sleep like them and just do everything else quicker.

My parents still think I'm crazy now for setting my alarm so early. If I need to leave at 6am, I need to set my alarm for 4am at the latest. Sometimes I just dont bother going to sleep if i need to leave really early, or I sleep fully clothed, because I know I'll never be able to sleep and then get up in time. If it was an issue of laziness or wanting to sleep in for longer I really wouldn't do that.



KTMom
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21 Jul 2013, 9:36 am

Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to offer feedback here. I have so much to think about. I am definitely going to try to (inconspicuously) observe her. I think there may very well be answers here!

We have a timer in the shower that does help a lot... now that she seems more confident about what to do!

I will continue to keep you posted about how things progress from here! :)



KTMom
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21 Jul 2013, 9:39 am

Another side note... thank you, but I am not interested in any advice involving physical punishment.
Thoughtful advice stemming from experience is warmly welcomed! :)



KTMom
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21 Jul 2013, 9:58 am

I know that my daughter is not purposely going so slow, but it is so exasperating to watch. Thank you for your comments... they help me to try to be more patient!



KTMom
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21 Jul 2013, 9:59 am

[And I remember feeling really mad as a kid because my parents would accuse me of being lazy or dawdling, but I wasn't. And when I would tell them that I wasn't, they wouldn't believe me. I guess the point I am trying to make is blaming the person who suffers with the problem by attributing it to something that they control will not help make anything better, and may only make them feel worse.

I know that my daughter is not purposely going so slow, but it is so exasperating to watch. Thank you for your comments... they help me to try to be more patient![/quote]



KTMom
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21 Jul 2013, 10:01 am

KTMom wrote:
[And I remember feeling really mad as a kid because my parents would accuse me of being lazy or dawdling, but I wasn't. And when I would tell them that I wasn't, they wouldn't believe me. I guess the point I am trying to make is blaming the person who suffers with the problem by attributing it to something that they control will not help make anything better, and may only make them feel worse.

I know that my daughter is not purposely going so slow, but it is so exasperating to watch. Thank you for your comments... they help me to try to be more patient!
[/quote]



InThisTogether
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21 Jul 2013, 10:28 am

The mechanics of using this board can be a little tricky, but it looks like you are starting to catch on. If you want to quote someone's post as a reference, there is a button on the top that says "quote." I click on that and delete the parts I am not referring to.


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OliveOilMom
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21 Jul 2013, 11:32 am

Eloah wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
ASDsmom wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
That's why I always used a little hicory off the bush. if nothing else, youd kids wll take a penchant for cordorou pants up in there.


Ok, Ive barely had my first morning coffee - I have no idea what this quote even means!!


It means get a little switch off the bush or tree. Use that and sting their legs.


Are you saying you literally use something from a bush or tree to sting your kids with?


Yeah. You get a small switch off the tree and pull the leaves off and pop them on the legs. I don't NOW that they are all older teens but I did when they were kids. It's much less worse than popping them with my hand. It doesn't hurt per se, it just stings.


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Eloah
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21 Jul 2013, 12:00 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:
Eloah wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
ASDsmom wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
That's why I always used a little hicory off the bush. if nothing else, youd kids wll take a penchant for cordorou pants up in there.


Ok, Ive barely had my first morning coffee - I have no idea what this quote even means!!


It means get a little switch off the bush or tree. Use that and sting their legs.


Are you saying you literally use something from a bush or tree to sting your kids with?


Yeah. You get a small switch off the tree and pull the leaves off and pop them on the legs. I don't NOW that they are all older teens but I did when they were kids. It's much less worse than popping them with my hand. It doesn't hurt per se, it just stings.


Isn't that basically child abuse?



EmberEyes
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21 Jul 2013, 12:01 pm

Just a random thought...
Can you compare the time it takes for her to do tasks in the evening and in the morning? When I was a kid, (actually still today )I am so tired when I wake up that I feel sick. I have horrible morning temper and my brain doesn't kick into gear until I have been awake for an hour or so. When I do anything right after I wake up, it takes pretty much twice as long. Even really simple things as choosing which pair of socks I should wear (out of several pairs identical black socks, should be a no-brainer) .

I am sure you have tried to streamline everythign you can already, like previous posters have suggested taking the shower in the evening, choosing clothes and packing the backpack, prepaired lunch etc.

One tip (from my mom)... If she has long hair, braid it in one or two braids in the evening, then it's much easier to detangle the hair in the morning and cuts down on time and drama.

Another thing my mom did for me was to give me my breakfast in my room. She would wake me up (sit me up) and put a tray on the desk, then put a timer on 30 min. That was the time I had to finish my breakfast. Then she would come in after around 15-20 min to make sure I was up, and tell me how much time I had left. When the timer went off, she'd take the tray away and shoo me into the bathroom.

The idea with the music is also a good one, to help your child keep time. My 'niece' used to brush her teeth to some disney-song.



OliveOilMom
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21 Jul 2013, 1:33 pm

Eloah wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
Eloah wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
ASDsmom wrote:
OliveOilMom wrote:
That's why I always used a little hicory off the bush. if nothing else, youd kids wll take a penchant for cordorou pants up in there.


Ok, Ive barely had my first morning coffee - I have no idea what this quote even means!!


It means get a little switch off the bush or tree. Use that and sting their legs.


Are you saying you literally use something from a bush or tree to sting your kids with?


Yeah. You get a small switch off the tree and pull the leaves off and pop them on the legs. I don't NOW that they are all older teens but I did when they were kids. It's much less worse than popping them with my hand. It doesn't hurt per se, it just stings.


Isn't that basically child abuse?


Nope. And if you think it is, then I dare you to time travel back to when my kids were little and take them to your house and not spank them!

Cause you'll be bringing them back real quick.


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Eloah
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21 Jul 2013, 2:06 pm

OliveOilMom wrote:

Nope. And if you think it is, then I dare you to time travel back to when my kids were little and take them to your house and not spank them!

Cause you'll be bringing them back real quick.


I don't mind giving it a try. How do you discipline them now they're older?



Eloah
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21 Jul 2013, 2:56 pm

@oliveoilmom
I had never heard of such a thing as using a switch before. When you explained it, I was shocked that parents still do things like that, and I personally feel its an awful form of punishment and not something I'd ever feel ok doing to my kids. However, I have looked up about spanking with a switch and it isn't considered to be child abuse as long as it is done in a controlled manner and leaves no marks. I apologise for making the accusation.



OliveOilMom
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23 Jul 2013, 6:16 am

Eloah wrote:
@oliveoilmom
I had never heard of such a thing as using a switch before. When you explained it, I was shocked that parents still do things like that, and I personally feel its an awful form of punishment and not something I'd ever feel ok doing to my kids. However, I have looked up about spanking with a switch and it isn't considered to be child abuse as long as it is done in a controlled manner and leaves no marks. I apologise for making the accusation.


Oh, it's ok. Everybody has their own opinion and ways of disciplining their kids, and that's fine if people disagree. Some people think that any kind of corporal punishment is abuse and some think that almost nothing is. I'm middle of the road I guess.


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My forum is still there and everyone is welcome to come join as well. There is a private women only subforum there if anyone is interested. Also, there is no CAPTCHA. ;-)

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