Why do NT women get so paranoid of what they're wearing?

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Joe90
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21 Jul 2013, 3:58 am

My mum is a perfect example. She used to just wear easy clothes that always looked nice, but since she reached her mid-40s she's suddenly been buying more glamorous clothes, and she spends about nearly an hour a day (all together) gyrating in front of the mirror looking at herself. Then she goes quiet and suddenly spouts out, ''do I look all right?'' My honest opinion is she always looks nice, always looks presentable, has never experienced any ridicule from anyone and you can't find fault in what she's wearing at all. She worries that things don't go, but I've noticed that these days just about anything goes, unless it's too extreme (like wearing socks with sandals or something), but I'm not talking about anything bizarre. When I go out, whatever the weather, no two people are wearing the same clothes. Everybody's in all different colours, styles, whatever, so unless you are dressed really bizarre that is really unusual, then you can't really stand out. Even goths blend in these days. I'm friends with a woman who has a very gothic fashion style, but she doesn't look odd and is always socially accepted.

I just hate it when people go, ''do I look all right?'' I hate those words! I wish clothes were just worn for purpose, but instead they invite all this unneeded paranoia in people. Just why?


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Agemaki
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21 Jul 2013, 5:38 am

Of course I don't know your mother, but I would guess that her growing interest in her clothing has something to do with a fear of getting old and not being pretty.

(I actually thought socks with sandals was fairly normal, I'm pretty sure I've seen it often enough.)

In terms of why people can be so obsessive about their wardrobe...I think it's a kind of complicated (and fascinating!) issue. There is a kind of language in clothing, in presentation. It is a way of conveying information as much as written or spoken words are. However, unlike a verbal language, the language of clothes communicates information nearly instantaneously. Many people can become concerned about what they are communicating with this "first impression" through the language of clothing. The ability of clothing to rapidly convey information about the wearer has long been used to situate individuals within the social hierarchy (conveying such things as gender, class and economic status) For instance, some cultures have made restrictions on who can wear what types of clothing. I am currently working on my MA in which I discuss these issues in the context of a particular ear of Japanese court life, so it's a bit of a special interest of mine. I hope this provided some clarification.



Aspinator
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21 Jul 2013, 7:47 am

First of all I will state that this is a man's POV. The way I see it, women (probably subconsciously) are conditioned by society to be concerned about their appearance. This is very important in attracting potential mating partners. As a woman gets older, the reasons for her concern for her appearance dwindles. As a woman enters the age of a "non-mating" person she is grasping for the only way she knows how to relate in this society. I know this is just a generalization and is my opinion only.



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21 Jul 2013, 8:56 am

I always feel good in what I wear, but I hate the questions "Do I look okay?" and "Do I look fat?". You should be the person who makes that decision. I hate the word fat to begin with, but if you feel "fat" in something find something you feel confident in.


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Soccer22
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26 Jul 2013, 6:38 pm

I'm always wondering the same thing. I went to an nfl game where you'd think people would be casual and in their fan gear. Not at all, I saw women all over wearing high heels, tight jeans, nice shirts, dangling earrings with no fan gear. I was really annoyed by it. I also don't like when I'm going to a grocery store and women again are dressed to the nine. I think it's fine to look presentable, but in heels at casual events is beyond my comprehension!



Yuzu
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26 Jul 2013, 7:56 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Why do NT women get so paranoid of what they're wearing?


I'm pretty sure some women with ASD do this too. Not just NT women.



OliveOilMom
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27 Jul 2013, 12:32 pm

You said this has happened since she's reached her mid 40's so I'm thinking it's probably because she sees she's getting older and her body is changing and her face is looking older and she's wanting to suddenly pay attention to her looks before they are gone. I went through, and am going through, the exact same thing. She may even start with very different type hairstyles or color it (more frequently or other colors if she already does) and she may start experimenting with makeup. That's exactly what I did.

If she's starting to wear more makeup, or wear it a different way, or pay more attention to it, I can give you a YouTube site for makeup that I love. It's a makeup artist and he has lots of things for girls your age all the way up to ladies my age (I'm almost 50). She might really appreciate looking at it. He shows you how to apply different things to look younger or hide certain things that start happening with age. Let me know and I'll give it to you and you can show her. You could say something like "Mom, this lady your age that's on my group sent me this site. She does her makeup like he shows but look, they have things for girls my age" while scrolling through his list of makeup videos so she can see it.

My opinion is that it's more of a middle age lady thing than an NT thing. I used to just wear whatever too, and felt fine about it and did minimal makeup and casual hair and never my nails. Now I usually try to do much more because I feel that I'm looking older (which I am).


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babybird
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27 Jul 2013, 1:39 pm

Believe it not I'm the oldest woman who I know.


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22 Oct 2018, 10:41 am

Yuzu wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
Why do NT women get so paranoid of what they're wearing?


I'm pretty sure some women with ASD do this too. Not just NT women.


I would guess at less likely to though: my take is that NT's have a need to fit in hence the tribalism of clothes, music, sports team etc and has been made even more dominant with the rise of Social Media.

I have no sense of tribalism, apparently due to my autism :| :| :| so I assume it is something of a trait.



Fnord
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22 Oct 2018, 1:39 pm

Me Here wrote:
Yuzu wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
Why do NT women get so paranoid of what they're wearing?
I'm pretty sure some women with ASD do this too. Not just NT women.
I would guess at less likely to though: my take is that NT's have a need to fit in hence the tribalism of clothes, music, sports team etc and has been made even more dominant with the rise of Social Media. I have no sense of tribalism, apparently due to my autism so I assume it is something of a trait.
You do realize that you've just responded to a post that's over five years old, don't you?

:?