Page 1 of 1 [ 13 posts ] 

Danearys
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jul 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 5

23 Jul 2013, 10:22 am

Hi. I am a 23 year old woman. All of my life I have felt different and struggled with a darkness that I cannot seem to shed light on. I will list a few of my traits and would appreciate it if anyone could let me know if they relate to Aspergers or not.


I hate conflict and will back down to avoid being 'talked' about. I apologise obsessively and need to know that people are ok with me.

I always feel unsafe and unloved and rely entirely on my husband for attention and love.

I am very impatient, I can feel myself getting worked up if I have to wait in a line or for a delivery/meal.

I am particular about the way I have meals and drinks. I can't have hot drinks with meals and I cannot have hot drinks outside or near an open window. I don't like people to look at my meal or asking me if I am enjoying it.
I feel angry about this and lose my appetite. I have to eat what I fancy at the time or I will not eat. My husband has managed to break a few of these habits now and again such as persuading me to eat the meal he is cooking and my not taking offence if he asks me how my meal is. Only my husband can do this without me feeling upset.

I laugh louder and for longer at jokes than most other people, I then feel like people are sniggering at me.

I try to fit in with each type of person I meet, I adapt to their personalities and act differently around them to what I actually am.

My sense of style changes frequently and I can't decide how I would like to look.

I suffer anxiety and prefer my husband to take charge of all domestic situations such as making appointments, even speaking on my behalf at the doctors, dentist etc.

I am better at writing down my feelings in the form of short/long stories than expressing them verbally.

I make friends easily but the friendships seem to break down not long after making them, I either become obsessed by the friend or I just burn all bridges because I no longer feel a connection.

I feel guilty a lot of the time and am extremely sensitive to other people's emotions.

I am sensitive to medication and react badly to small doses (anxiety medication)

I have many more 'strange' traits that make me feel an outcast, I just need to know what is wrong with me.



HopefulFlower
Snowy Owl
Snowy Owl

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 25
Gender: Female
Posts: 155
Location: California, US

23 Jul 2013, 10:27 am

It sounds to me like you have what I have but it's not diagnosed for me but I consider it social anxiety disorder and issues with being isolated. I have been living in social isolation for 4 years now and have in this developed social anxiety and a need for attention. But it goes away on the occasion I hang out with my bff. No anxiety no attention seeking. Whenever I hung out with my exboyfriend back when we were dating it was the same thing. Once I got the chance to be around someone all those problems went away-my aspergers stuck around though. Maybe you should go and hang out with friends more often.


_________________
"Diagnosed aspergers syndrome/autism spectrum disorder. Femme lesbian and proud."


redrobin62
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 2 Apr 2012
Age: 58
Gender: Male
Posts: 13,009
Location: Seattle, WA

23 Jul 2013, 10:50 am

An individual must meet criteria A, B, C and D:

A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across contexts, not accounted for by general developmental delays, and manifest by all 3 of the following:

1. Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity; ranging from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back and forth conversation through reduced sharing of interests, emotions, and affect and response to total lack of initiation of social interaction.

2. Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction; ranging from poorly integrated- verbal and nonverbal communication, through abnormalities in eye contact and body-language, or deficits in understanding and use of nonverbal communication, to total lack of facial expression or gestures.

3. Deficits in developing and maintaining relationships, appropriate to developmental level (beyond those with caregivers); ranging from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit different social contexts through difficulties in sharing imaginative play and in making friends to an apparent absence of interest in people.

B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities as manifested by at least two of the following:

1. Stereotyped or repetitive speech, motor movements, or use of objects; (such as simple motor stereotypies, echolalia, repetitive use of objects, or idiosyncratic phrases).

2. Excessive adherence to routines, ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior, or excessive resistance to change; (such as motoric rituals, insistence on same route or food, repetitive questioning or extreme distress at small changes).

3. Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus; (such as strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).

4. Hyper-or hypo-reactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of environment; (such as apparent indifference to pain/heat/cold, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, fascination with lights or spinning objects).

C. Symptoms must be present in early childhood (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities)

D. Symptoms together limit and impair everyday functioning



BTDT
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 26 Jul 2010
Age: 57
Gender: Female
Posts: 6,620

23 Jul 2013, 10:53 am

You should see a professional for a proper diagnosis.

In many ways, you have the exact opposite of Aspergers--many of us have difficulty making friends. Rather than mimicking them to fit in, we don't have a clue as to how to fit in! We often don't get jokes...



forgivemenot
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 28 Feb 2012
Age: 27
Gender: Male
Posts: 3

23 Jul 2013, 11:17 am

I think we have a lot of similarities. I have been diagnosed with Asperger's ("some characteristics", according to my psychiatrist) but I think I fit much more in the NLD diagnosis (Non-verbal Learding Disability/Disorder). Do you have difficulties with space (maths, physics) and executive function?



Rascal77s
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Nov 2011
Age: 43
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,725

23 Jul 2013, 1:19 pm

Danearys wrote:
Hi. I am a 23 year old woman. All of my life I have felt different and struggled with a darkness that I cannot seem to shed light on. I will list a few of my traits and would appreciate it if anyone could let me know if they relate to Aspergers or not.


I hate conflict and will back down to avoid being 'talked' about. I apologise obsessively and need to know that people are ok with me.

I always feel unsafe and unloved and rely entirely on my husband for attention and love.

I am very impatient, I can feel myself getting worked up if I have to wait in a line or for a delivery/meal.

I am particular about the way I have meals and drinks. I can't have hot drinks with meals and I cannot have hot drinks outside or near an open window. I don't like people to look at my meal or asking me if I am enjoying it.
I feel angry about this and lose my appetite. I have to eat what I fancy at the time or I will not eat. My husband has managed to break a few of these habits now and again such as persuading me to eat the meal he is cooking and my not taking offence if he asks me how my meal is. Only my husband can do this without me feeling upset.

I laugh louder and for longer at jokes than most other people, I then feel like people are sniggering at me.

I try to fit in with each type of person I meet, I adapt to their personalities and act differently around them to what I actually am.

My sense of style changes frequently and I can't decide how I would like to look.

I suffer anxiety and prefer my husband to take charge of all domestic situations such as making appointments, even speaking on my behalf at the doctors, dentist etc.

I am better at writing down my feelings in the form of short/long stories than expressing them verbally.

I make friends easily but the friendships seem to break down not long after making them, I either become obsessed by the friend or I just burn all bridges because I no longer feel a connection.

I feel guilty a lot of the time and am extremely sensitive to other people's emotions.

I am sensitive to medication and react badly to small doses (anxiety medication)

I have many more 'strange' traits that make me feel an outcast, I just need to know what is wrong with me.


Asperger's I don't know, but you do have social anxiety as you are probably aware since you are on anxiety medication. You don't mention repetitive behavior or sensory issues so my guess would be you would not be diagnosed with AS. You should get a professional opinion since these issues are negatively affecting your life.



Danearys
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jul 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 5

23 Jul 2013, 4:31 pm

I had difficulty with normal childhood stages, I never learned to swim or ride a bike no matter how hard I tried. I was a clumsy but intelligent child, I struggled with straight forward task and instructions but was able to retain useless general knowledge such as all of the victims of several serial killers and birthdays of celebrities. I knew all my capital cities at a young age and enjoyed to read classic literature, gained my highest grades in English. I had difficulty with girl stuff like styling my hair and applying my make up. I obsessed with certain things, I once saw a dress on a film I watched over 15 years ago and still search shops and the Internet to find one just like it, I have several that have come close but am still searching to find the dress that I want. I rarely make eye contact when speaking with somebody, I look to their face but around the eyes, usually the fore head or temple. I find looking directly into a persons eyes uncomfortable. I am only good at 'making' friends when drunk, this is the only time I can be social, if I have to attend a social event that does not involve drinking I make myself ill worrying about it or cancel it at the last minute. I have started many courses in education to quickly become overwhelmed and drop out of the course. I'm so very confused. I do not feel like this is just social anxiety but I could be wrong.



Danearys
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jul 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 5

23 Jul 2013, 4:37 pm

Also I do not know if this is relevant but my handwriting is appalling. I start off trying to write neatly and after 2 words my writing becomes hard to understand and scruffy.



Noetic
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jan 2005
Age: 42
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,277
Location: UK

23 Jul 2013, 4:51 pm

You sure have social anxiety.

Just address and work on your weaknesses, stop looking for labels and look at your strengths and weaknesses. Hunting for a label will not magically solve your problems.



Danearys
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jul 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 5

23 Jul 2013, 5:03 pm

Thank you for all of your responses. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow which I am nervous about but also eager to discuss further. I am 23 years old, if
addressing my weaknesses were that easy I wouldn't feel this confused and in turmoil. With all due respect I have battled with this all of my life so searching for a label is all i got right now. Thank you all very much.



KingdomOfRats
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 31 Oct 2005
Age: 36
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,833
Location: f'ton,manchester UK

23 Jul 2013, 6:31 pm

Danearys wrote:
Thank you for all of your responses. I have a doctors appointment tomorrow which I am nervous about but also eager to discuss further. I am 23 years old, if
addressing my weaknesses were that easy I wouldn't feel this confused and in turmoil. With all due respect I have battled with this all of my life so searching for a label is all i got right now. Thank you all very much.

noetic can correct if wrong,but am certain they do not mean it in a bad/stop being pesamistic sort of way,its a school of thought held by many profesionals in the mental health industry, but speaking of wrong planet we are a community full of people who have dealt with sht all our lives,so no one woud dare to make themself a hypocrite by knocking people for having life long difficulties to.

labels honestly dont solve problems and if anything a lot of people on the most high functioning end of the spectrum find the label is more problems than its worth because ASD as a diagnosis is associated with disability.
all labels come with connotations,expectations and stereotypes,they really only help with getting offline or online support or benefits/concessionary items of any form.
labels dont help that greatly with getting understanding from other people as we are judged on our labels regardless where we fit on the spectrum,and we are fcuked if we dont fit the restricted stereotypes and generalisations people have of each severity and functioning level.

its a good step to be going for an assessment,but it does help to look at things as individual difficulties more so than seeing them as one label.
humans can get into a habit of never helping themselves when they get a label on their issues because they think a label means the problem is helpless,seeing the difficulties individualy means there is a focus on helping self.

best of luck with the appointment,perhaps write down anything that woud like to say to them, now so are prepared.


_________________
>severely autistic.
>>the residential autist; http://theresidentialautist.blogspot.co.uk
blogging from the view of an ex institutionalised autism/ID activist now in community care.
>>>help to keep bullying off our community,report it!


skibum
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Age: 54
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,045
Location: my own little world

23 Jul 2013, 6:41 pm

Best of luck with your appointment. I hope it will be helpful to you. Sometimes it helps just for your own emotional stability. It kind of like gives you a platform to work with. But even if they can't give you an exact label, you still have your struggles and you should still acknowledge them and do your best to work with them. Don't let anyone tell you that your struggles are not real or valid because they are whether you ave ASD or not. You should never use them as an excuse for anything which I am sure you don't, even if you have a label or not, but sometimes it just helps because it kind of lets you put your finger on your issues and sometimes just identifying them makes it easier to deal with them. But either way, you are always welcome here. Good luck.



Danearys
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

User avatar

Joined: 22 Jul 2013
Gender: Female
Posts: 5

24 Jul 2013, 10:18 am

Hi Skibum. Thank you for wishing me luck at my appointment. I had written down what I needed to tell my doctor and he agreed that I am dealing with something more than social anxiety/social phobia. He explained that on the previous occasions he had seen me he was intrigued by my issues and explained that he would have pushed ahead with a referral only I came across as being disinterested and he felt unable to push the matter as it seemed like i just wanted to be left alone. He commented on how I pretend to make eye contact but how he noticed that I actually don't. This is not something I was aware of until a few people pulled me up on it recently including my niece who I have recently gained custody of. I'm hoping the referral will lead me a step closer to working out some of my issues. My family love me and just want me to get some help. I am different to them, it's clear to everyone.