Conversations one on one vs group conversations

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Musicgirl
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24 Jul 2013, 12:29 am

I don't really get that nervous in a conversation with just one other person and enjoy it a lot of time. However, group conversations for me are very forced and unnatural. When I try to socialize in a group I tend to either push away without realizing it, interrupt , or concentrate on just talking to one person without thinking. It makes me feel out of place even if it is someone I would otherwise feel close to. :cry: Is there something I can do about it? Do any of you feel like the more people there are in a group, the more difficult it is for you to have a conversation?



FishStickNick
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24 Jul 2013, 12:41 am

I have problems with both group and one-on-one social interaction, but for very different reasons. Group conversations can be difficult because I sometimes interrupt people or end up having a hard time keeping up with the conversation. But I also feel invisible in group interaction, even if I know the people in the group well, because I don't say much and so my presence isn't really acknowledged. One-on-one conversation can present its own challenges, like when I need to try and keep a conversation going, but I can manage a little better. Unfortunately, I don't know what to do about it.



vanhalenkurtz
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24 Jul 2013, 3:38 am

1:1 has always worked best for me. I liken conversations to radios, I only want to concentrate on 1 station at any given time; hearing 5 different commercials played simultaneously makes me queasy. Alas, I live on a commune, which is like high school 24/7, and triangulating cliques is the culture here. I am nocturnal because I can't do all that radio noise, most of which is breathtakingly banal. I am glad the internet came along, I enjoy the ability to press pause & form my thoughts, plus I am literary by default.


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SteelMaiden
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24 Jul 2013, 3:55 am

I can relate to the above poster's way of seeing group conversation, it is like several radio stations playing at once.

I listen to music on my noise-cancelling headphones when I go out to drown out the multiple radio stations.


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skibum
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24 Jul 2013, 6:20 am

For me it depends on the person or on the group. I do very well with either but sometimes the group is easier because I have had one on one conversations where the other person has had a very pushy or insistent personality and that is hard for me. I tend to sometimes head towards small meltdowns if the other person is too pushy or too insistent. I feel like I am trapped or backed into a corner and I can't get out. In a group situation I don't have to say anything if I don't feel like it or I can say as much as I want.



Joe90
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24 Jul 2013, 7:06 am

I don't break social rules in a group. I just never know when to say something, and even when there's a gap I feel too afraid to say anything. My head is normally full of things to say. Like once when I went to the pub with my brother and his friends, they were talking about a girl who I knew but they didn't know I knew, and I wanted to say, ''oh, I know her'', but was too afraid to say it for some reason. I knew NTs like it when you say you know someone they know, but it wasn't what the subject was about, it was just how nervous I felt when hearing my own voice in a conversation. I'm always afraid I might say something and not be heard, since I am often tuned out because of my quiet vibes I tend to give off.

I do better in a one to one conversation. In fact I do really well. Well, it can be difficult if I am a bit nervous of the person, like if they feel superior to me or they are bossy or something, but generally I am great when with just one other person.


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howzat
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24 Jul 2013, 8:57 am

I have no problems with one to one conversations but i do alright with group conversations but could improve a lot more though.



xarrid
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24 Jul 2013, 10:22 am

I'm ok at one-on-one conversation, however I have to truly know a person to actually hold a conversation with them. I've been married for 7 years and I still have a hard time holding a conversation with my wife. I have to be the luckiest man on the planet to have a wife who understands me so well.

Group conversations I am horrid at, I either don't say a word and disappear into the scenery. OR I don't know when to shut up and will ramble for days, which ends up breaking the group converstation. I see a group talking or a group comes to talk to me, I usually try to make a break for it so I dont have a meltdown over trying to figure it out.

Professional meetings, I thrive in. Those I can keep my mouth shut until my area of knowledge is required then I answer the questions that are asked, or if I'm leading the meeting I can control the situation to where I am confortable.