Attractiveness trade-off?

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I hope that this post doesn't come out the wrong way and I hope it isn't offensive, but basically I am wondering: is it a good idea to forgo physical attractiveness in a relationship for a stronger emotional connection?

The main reason I'm asking is because like many here, I don't have much relationship experience at all. I've been dating quite a few people over the past year, but one thing I've noticed is that for the most part, the less attracted I am to my date physically, the stronger of an emotional connection we seem to have. It's mostly due to weight, with 70% of people overweight nowadays it's harder than you'd think to find someone who isn't! Not to mention, all of the "more attractive" women I've been out with so far have seemed to be really flaky and honestly not that interesting in comparison. I just can't decide if I'm being superficial by wanting someone that I'm attracted to both emotionally and physically, or if I should compromise one for the other.

How bout, the next overweight woman you have an emotional connection with, you give it a go and see what happens?

P.S. I do think it's perfectly normal to want to be both physically and emotionally attracted to your partner.

I'm not very shallow so I don't have any trouble dating curvier women. Not super big mind you but even that's not a dealbreaker for me if I can connect with them emotionally.

They should be attractive enough for you but they don't need to be more attractive than you need them to be or perfect. A trade off for personality is ok. I don't mind slightly overweight just not obese.

I can understand this, but I tend to do something a bit different:

If a guy is really good looking, I tend to find him "guilty until proven innocent" of thinking he's God's gift to women and stuff. I guess I hold a guy's good looks against him at first. Most guys who are good looking and know it are total jerks it seems. Most. Not all.

Average looking guys still are quite attractive, imo, and they're usually able to allow the more interesting sides of their personality shine through, because they're not so busy with other @**hat ways of doing things. So to me, average looks is generally far superior.

To put it in brutally honesty terms:

I've noticed that a lot of overweight women tend to make up for their lack of physical attractiveness by improving personality-based stuff. For example, they'll try to be less bitchy, do nice stuff for you, be more understanding of your faults, etc. Honestly, a lot of guys without spine do the same thing.

Sooo....that said, if you can actually manage to get past the physical part, there's every reason to go after overweight women.

If you liek someone I would give it a try. Love can be in the first place, but love can as well grow. Simply spend sime time together, and see if a little loveflower maybe spreading.

It really depends on what you are looking for. If it's just sex or something short term you might as well go for as attractive as you can get. The flip side is true too I guess in going for as easy as you can get.

As far as something long term, I think it's more about compatibility. It might take awhile and gaining some experience till you find out who and what types you really are compatible with. Actually spending a significant amount of time with someone and even getting to the point where you are living with them is much more involved than just the sexual attractiveness stuff.

I dunno, you have to find your comfort zone. If the girl is so unattractive to you that you don't want to be seen with her in public than don't bother. Spare yourself a lot of trouble and the girl a lot of hurt in this case. If you have no issues with being with her outside the bedroom and even introducing her to people you may know and to family than it should be alright.

The choice you are trying to make is normal..and I understand your delema ...from personal experience if you get both beauty and personality ..you have won the lottery...there is a part solution..every one has a weakness in them for being attracted to physical appearance first...
so my choice would be the cute girl if the sex is awesome...sometimes thats what certain people need..like me..lol..I dont care if they have brains the dumber the better..I think they are more on my level in a way..because they have a disabilty as well..and I help teach them things.. but if she is a very vengeful angry person ..my advice is to move on.she will destroy your confidence level to the point where she will control you and make your life miserable
.now the overweight one you have a personal connection with..but but not physical..my solution is to take her for long bike rides ..hiking ..walks .join a fitnesss club ..soon before you know it .now she looks good..exercise also tightens stomach and (groin area )muscles to put it politely..lol. which makes sex better as well...now you have a keeper..

Ugh, this thread is getting kind of depressing. I can't wait to lose more weight so I can get rid of this particular kind of judgement about my sexual worth.

Just as long as the sole reason isn't attractiveness either is fine. Especially if you are going into something very long term. Advancing age and possible future health issues can do a lot to take away someone's attractiveness. If that fades....what are you left with? Better hope you took lots of pictures and videos when they were still hot to rub one out to before you cry yourself to sleep every night.

You could continue having more dates with these "more attractive" women as you call them, and get to know them better emotionally, so you can see if they seem like a better fit as you get to know them. Getting to know someone isn't as straightforward as just a few dates and what not, instead it tends to take a lot of time. You can also have more dates with the less attractive women, who you connect with initially and see what happens too. You've dated many women so far it seems, and you're still single, so take your chances now and get to know the women that catch your eye and mind the most out of all of them, since that's what you prefer, having both a physical and emotional attraction to a mate.