diablo77 wrote:
Is it unrealistic, as someone who is FTM (pre-op only because I can't afford surgery) and on the spectrum and who REALLY wants to get married and build a life with someone, to think that's possible for me? I've had plenty of girlfriends so I know women can be attracted to me, and I think (and so do a lot of people I know) that I'm both smart and cute so I do have something to offer, but finding long term commitment is a lot harder, and I don't even just want a long term girlfriend, I want to be married. I guess I just want someone to tell me they don't think there is no one in the world who would marry me.
As someone who is MTF, I run into this myself. With my current circle of friends and associates, there is no one who is available to have a relationship with other than myself. The ones who are technically available are too old or too young for me to identify with. My AS doesn't make it any easier. I've tried unsuccessfully on dating websites to find someone and had no luck. I've tried to get friends to hook me up and had no success.
My counselor wants me to get out and do things to see if I can find a relationship, and it usually goes, how much more do I need to do beyond what I'm already doing. Give me five extra hours in the day and maybe I'll get lucky with putting myself places to get in contact with others, but I doubt it because where would I go that I don't already. To the bar? I've basically sworn off alcohol after what happened a month ago. Me and alcohol don't mix well or for good. Find a new social group for a hobby? None of my hobbies require social interaction and actually checking locally there aren't any groups that deal with what I like to do without costing money. Pick up a new hobby or activity? Like what? I don't have time or space as it is for what I do now as it is, and you want me to fit what into my schedule.
My Trans support group consists of people 10 years younger than me or 15-30 years older than me. I am the only one my age in the group. The only other trans support group is the same way. My gaming group is not better. All are 5-15 years younger than I am and those who fit the bill of what I'm attracted to aren't interested in me or are taken. I refuse to date anyone at work because I have never seen it end well, but even if I did, I am the only single person in my age who is available, with the rest being either much older than I am.
After being on HRT for 2+ years, the sexual attraction I have has returned after tanking for most of the length I've been on HRT and it's changed, and I have no clue what to do about it because I really didn't know what to do about it before.
It's frustrating. I just want someone to love me despite my quirks and to love them in return, but who? I'm tired of being by myself and so alone.
Sorry if this is depressing, but I just had to vent, and I feel so frustrated with this aspect of my life and I feel for you Diablo77. I hope you find success in your pursuit of a lasting relationship with another.
25 Jul 2013, 11:30 am
