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ZenDen
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25 Jul 2013, 1:38 pm

I'm wondering if many here, like myself, have self diagnosed?

After I became convinced of my deep introversion it seemed as though I had only part of the answers to my life's twists and turns.

Until I recollected a day in my past when I was 9 1/2: ... as I walked down a sunny sidewalk as I always did, when a man in an adjoining yard called to me and said: "Hey kid!" As I looked up he said: "Instead of always looking down, pick up your head and look at the glorious day." So I picked up my head and lowered it again when he was out of sight. But it got me thinking, and as I watched others I also noticed how they swung their arms when they walked (which I did not). And the next day I began to practice walking head up and arms moving (even fell down in the rocks once) until it became natural.

It was after retrieving that last memory that everything "fell into place" and all the odd stories of my younger life, and why I was treated differently, made perfect sense; AS was the answer.

Would this seem like a valid diagnosis to any of you?

denny



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25 Jul 2013, 1:56 pm

ZenDen wrote:
Would this seem like a valid diagnosis to any of you? denny


A valid diagnosis comes from a licensed professional Psychologist, after extensive testing. High Functioning Autism is a neurological disorder and affects several aspects of processing function. That's not to say that self-diagnosis may or may not be accurate (I was made aware of my own AS by private discovery before being officially tested and diagnosed), but without testing to eliminate the possibility of any other disorder or psychopathy, its impossible to say for certain.



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25 Jul 2013, 1:59 pm

Nowhere near enough information there to suggest a diagnosis of Aspergers. The most I can get from the brief description you gave is that you were shy and tended to look at your feet too much!


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ZenDen
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26 Jul 2013, 12:39 pm

I apologize for leaving out everything I might have mentioned elsewhere.

Before I finally self diagnosed I remember:

Not having any friends as a child, always rejection, rejection, rejection if it wasn't being bullied or beat up. And not knowing why.

Always chosen last for baseball (etc.) and not being able to get into Little League, and not knowing why.

Trying to converse with others but always getting left out of the discussion.

Loneliness. I remember years and years of loneliness. And oceans; I remember oceans of pain, hate, anger, and self pity that I swam in, constantly, my entire childhood.

The memory of a time when I discovered I didn't walk like everyone else was like supplying the last nails for a coffin. It nailed it all down.

My first reaction was anger: How can they raise kids this way so their whole life they stumble, stumble, stumble and never know what causes them to fail. Then I found that Asperger's didn't even get into the books until the '80s (me being born during WWII) and that there are now things such as Wrong Planet and helpful people. Much better now than before.

Again, I apologize for not including this in my first post, and wasting everyone's time.

denny



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26 Jul 2013, 1:53 pm

This doesn't necessarily sound like ASD to me, but who knows, it could be. Remember that everyone is different, even if they're diagnosed with the same thing. You may be on the spectrum or you may not be... I don't see why it really matters anyways. If you identify with people here then that's great.



ZenDen
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26 Jul 2013, 2:28 pm

Yeah....I left out the facial recognition stuff, etc. etc. because, being 70 now I've got to dig back pretty far to remember things that have faded like flapping/turning hand motions I used to make. But things like facial recognition problems and the inability to participate in group discussions (makes me totally crash) still remain after all these years.

But you're right: Even if I don't have AS a 99% match makes me feel like I belong with people who share my life experiences.

But I was hoping to hear of others similar experiences. Perhaps yourself?:-)

denny



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26 Jul 2013, 2:41 pm

The experiences you've had are shared by Autistics and Neuro-Typicals alike.

So while you may (or may not) be Autistic, only an appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health professional can give you a valid diagnosis. This is because you may have other issues that may effect your perceptions and judgment. Clinical depression might make you look sad and become withdrawn. PTSD from abuse or a traumatic episode might make you "skittish" and reluctant to speak or make physical contact. These and many other issues might make you act in such a way that others would reject you.

Seek a professional's diagnosis. Once it's official, you could be eligible for government support services, as well.



tall-p
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26 Jul 2013, 6:35 pm

ZenDen wrote:
I'm wondering if many here, like myself, have self diagnosed?

I too am in my 70s now. And I recently tuned into Asperger's. I've taken a bunch of online tests, but I would never go to a psychiatrist or psychologist for "testing" and a real dx. I think they probably cause more grief than they do relief. And I have found that once you get "helping professionals" into your life it is almost impossible to get them out.


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26 Jul 2013, 6:53 pm

Fnord wrote:
The experiences you've had are shared by Autistics and Neuro-Typicals alike.

So while you may (or may not) be Autistic, only an appropriately-trained and licensed mental-health professional can give you a valid diagnosis. This is because you may have other issues that may effect your perceptions and judgment. Clinical depression might make you look sad and become withdrawn. PTSD from abuse or a traumatic episode might make you "skittish" and reluctant to speak or make physical contact. These and many other issues might make you act in such a way that others would reject you.

Seek a professional's diagnosis. Once it's official, you could be eligible for government support services, as well.


I guess it's another topic for another thread... But unless it directly benefits you in a significant way, getting an official diagnosis seems bad/dangerous to me. Humans discriminate against and are afraid of people who aren't normal. You never want your name to be on a list somewhere, if you can help it.

It could make your insurance cost more, it could make it harder to land a job if it shows up in a background check or something, it could restrict you from being able to do certain things that society doesn't want "mentally ill" people doing (which could mean anything from owning a gun to simply driving a car, even). Some people are calling for "re-institutionalizing" the mentally ill like how it used to be 50 years ago.

All of these things may or may not be issues... They probably won't be, but theoretically they could be. I guess my philosophy is, don't get a diagnosis unless the benefit outweighs the risks. Someone who has a debilitating ASD would probably see a significant increase in quality of living from getting a diagnosis and the support that could come with it. For someone in their 70's who has thus far made it through life okay, I don't really see the point.

If you want support you can still go find a therapist who specializes in ASD, go to support groups, etc, without an official diagnosis.



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26 Jul 2013, 7:03 pm

I came upon the term Aspergers kind of randomly on the internet one day and decided to google it. Never knew what it was or anyone or anything associated with it.

It totally took me off guard!

I was surprised because I could relate to what I read. I've never come across anything in my life that explains so much of how I am. I eventually found this community and it was a bizarre experience. Even now. I've never really completely related to anyone my whole life, up until I found this on-line place. Even the name of it struck a chord as I've come up with similar ways of describing how I fit into the grand scheme of things.

I've been a lurker for a long time. Not hardcore, but when the issue was on my mind I'd browse. Even had another profile before this one but never posted. I didn't see the need to. Everywhere I looked I thought, "damn I could've written that post" minus a few specific details of course. Even now it's a constant thing to see as I'm thinking about a particular issue or going through one, to just see a new thread pop up with the same issue or thoughts.

Everyday, especially lately because I've become a more active member, it still stays mind boggling to me. I still don't understand how so many people around the world have such incredibly similar experiences and behaviors as me when I've been so different and hard to pigeon hole my whole life. I pretty much fell through every crack in the system that there is.



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26 Jul 2013, 7:58 pm

Jasper1 wrote:
I came upon the term Aspergers kind of randomly on the internet one day and decided to google it. Never knew what it was or anyone or anything associated with it.

It totally took me off guard!

I was surprised because I could relate to what I read. I've never come across anything in my life that explains so much of how I am. I eventually found this community and it was a bizarre experience. Even now. I've never really completely related to anyone my whole life, up until I found this on-line place. Even the name of it struck a chord as I've come up with similar ways of describing how I fit into the grand scheme of things.

I've been a lurker for a long time. Not hardcore, but when the issue was on my mind I'd browse. Even had another profile before this one but never posted. I didn't see the need to. Everywhere I looked I thought, "damn I could've written that post" minus a few specific details of course. Even now it's a constant thing to see as I'm thinking about a particular issue or going through one, to just see a new thread pop up with the same issue or thoughts.

Everyday, especially lately because I've become a more active member, it still stays mind boggling to me. I still don't understand how so many people around the world have such incredibly similar experiences and behaviors as me when I've been so different and hard to pigeon hole my whole life. I pretty much fell through every crack in the system that there is.


That was a big revelation for me, too, when I first found this website. I looked at the DSM criteria and they all fit, took the online aspie quizzes and scored like 170/200 or something, but it never really registered in my brain that there were other people like me out there.

One day I randomly did a google search for "asperger's forum" and discovered WrongPlanet. I actually cried while reading some posts at first, because I related so much to what people were saying. Like wow, I'm not alone. It felt like I imagine it would feel to survive by yourself in a post-apocalyptic world for 30 years thinking you were the only human left on the planet, and then one day stumble upon a city full of people.

I spent 8 hours a day surfing the site for a while :roll:



Jasper1
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26 Jul 2013, 8:15 pm

Yeah, it's really overwhelming in a good way. Last few days, I've been pretty attached to the site. It's bringing up things I haven't thought about in a long time too. Things from my childhood that I've long forgotten about and it's helping putting some things in perspective for me.



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26 Jul 2013, 11:07 pm

I agree with ZenDen and Jasper1, discovering you have apsergers when you are in your 60s and 70s is extremely liberating and overwhelming. All of a sudden you are no longer just a lone weirdo, but there are other people just like you and they share similar attitudes, sense of humour, social problems, and problems with loneliness and depression.

All your life you have thought you were different and weird, and did not understand why you did not fit in with the general populace.
Now we are not alone, we can begin to understand what happened to us in earlier years, and feel more comfortable with ourselves.

I know Fnord likes to harp on getting an official diagnosis, but at our age there is no point in wasting money on it. It will not get us any benefits, and at our age we know what we have been through and can evaluate ourselves using he same guidelines as a professional.
Remember we are aspies, we can research and evaluate with a bit of effort.

And at our age the benefits of being classified as an aspie is to understand ourselves and help our partners/spouse understand what they have been putting up with for all those years.

We got through till now without a diagnosis or knowing we had aspergers. We struggled, but still muddled through, getting an education, getting jobs, finding partners, raising kids.

I generally agree with Fnord posts, but on the issue of self-diagnosis for older people I strongly disagree. Also as we have read here just because you consult a professional, that does not mean they will get it right either.

A bit more of a rant than I wanted, but it is a sensitive issue.

Cheers


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26 Jul 2013, 11:19 pm

I have too, and it felt quite like I had some closure to what I had.


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27 Jul 2013, 4:23 am

Only one person is qualified to place a barcode on you: & that's you.


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27 Jul 2013, 5:08 am

tall-p wrote:
I too am in my 70s now. And I recently tuned into Asperger's. I've taken a bunch of online tests, but I would never go to a psychiatrist or psychologist for "testing" and a real dx. I think they probably cause more grief than they do relief. And I have found that once you get "helping professionals" into your life it is almost impossible to get them out.


That's part of the reason I haven't gone. I don't want treatment or medication and don't want to get back into the system. I had enough of that when I was a teenager. I just want to stay home and be left alone. The only reason for me to get a diagnosis would be for ssi (if I even qualify) or if I needed special accommodations like if I needed to get out of jury duty.