Do you ever feel bad about not being a "genius"?

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When I was diagnosed, my mother started buying books for me by people like Temple Grandin and Dawn Prince-Hughes, wanting me to know that it was still possible for me to accomplish great things even though I'm different. Sometimes I do feel inspired, but sometimes I also feel a weird sort of inferiority, because I don't think I'll ever be a PhD scientist or invent anything or anything like that. I may never even have a college degree. I can do several things we were warned I might not be capable of at the time I was diagnosed, like drive a car, hold a job, live independently and form meaningful relationships with other people, even romantic ones. Those feel like accomplishments to me, until I hold myself up the Super Autistics and wonder how it is they can do so much more than I can.

Only every freaking minute of my life. Not that I think a few IQ points would've helped me anywhere socially, but I'm still going to try and scrape them together in the meantime before someone hires me for some computing job.

I used to thought like "okay I've got AS, that sucks. Why don't I at least have the intelligence that's supposed to come along with it."

Now I don't care anymore. No I am not crazy smart, but I really don't mind it. My intelligence is okay the way it is. I can't change it anyway, so I better just accept it the way it is.

I'm not a genius at all. I didn't do that well in school, and all the average kids seemed more cleverer than me. I often found myself copying the work of the person sitting next to me. I sometimes intellectually caught up with the other kids but then fell behind again. I was never top of the class in anything, even the things I thought I was quite good at. And in my final exams I didn't get anything above a C, whilst other kids got A's and B's in things like maths and science.

I've never been too bothered about being a bit slow. Sometimes I wondered how it was to actually know the answers in class and to do well in your work, but it's never made me feel depressed or worthless when being reminded how agonizingly poor I am at maths. It's lack of social skills that have always let me down big time. I've always preferred to have friends and be socially accepted, than to pass a maths or science test. I know it sounds bad but I've always been like it.

The way my brain works and my general intelligence....if I didn't have such an extreme learning disability when it comes to mathematics I think I could have gotten pretty far with education and been able to do pretty much whatever interested me.

I didn't complete college because the classes related to math like thinking pretty much held me back. I couldn't get passed them even with a tutor. Those classes were obviously anything that were straight math, logic related philosophy courses, computer sciences, and picking up a second language.

The other classes that I was good at, I was usually top 3 in class. A lot of teachers and professors took me aside to get to know me better. Told me I had potential, and a very unique point of view on things. In fact I got along with those teachers and professors a lot better than I ever did with my peers.

It eats me up whenever I think about it. It's even worse when family brings it up on a regular basis to remind me I'm a failure at life.

Since college, I've dumbed down A LOT. I don't read books and pretty much just enjoy my entertainment related interests. I don't have nearly the vocabulary I used to, nor intellectual insight into matters either.

In a lot of ways I feel life is a lot more relaxed and pleasant now that I don't have so much BS stirring in my head.

Last edited by Jasper1 on 26 Jul 2013, 3:09 pm, edited 1 time in total.

Not sure exactly where I fall on the scale (don't really want to know my IQ for exactly this reason) but what I do know is that my primary deficit was supposedly 'processing speed'... as if the validity of a thought were somehow altered by how quickly its' description reached my lips. Allegedly I easily completed a bunch of tangram tests and such, written to stump grad students, before high school, almost every time a social worker called me out of class. As such, I didn't let the fact that I inherently sucked at homework stand in the way of learning what I wanted to. I may not have been credited for most of my work, but I'm on the way there, one path or another.

I technically have a borderline genius IQ, somewhere around 140, but I also have comorbid dyscalcula and dyspraxia and this has kept me from getting very far in formal education.

Don't take that stuff so literally.

I never managed to finish college, I only made it out of High School by the skin of my teeth because my math scores were so pathetic (I have some sort of ADHD block when it comes to higher math - I can understand it, I just can't stay focused on it long enough to learn it) - still, in every other respect I am as well educated or better so than many of the college graduates I know, because I'm much better at reading and ingesting information on my own than I am when its force-fed to me through a rigid curriculum.

That notion that everybody with AS is a Science nerd is nothing but an Urban Myth Stereotype. Because many of us have a difficult time remaining focused on anything that isn't a specific personal obsession, it stands to reason that a lot of Aspies would gravitate into careers involving something they love, therefore become extensively knowledgeable about. When you know your own niche inside and out, you may appear to someone unfamiliar with the subject or field to be a genius, because you know "everything there is to know" about that specific field. Doesn't mean you're an all-around wizard at everything.

I can walk you through a Radio Station and show you all kinds of cool tricks you can do with audio processors. I can bore you for hours on the technical aspects of tattooing, or the socio-political climates of certain historical periods, or sit up all night discussing how particle physics impacts the ideas of the great philosophers and world religions. OTOH, other than changing a tire, I can't fix my own vehicle when it breaks down, I have no idea how an oil rig works nor do I have any knowledge or interest in things medical. I can't keep a plant alive and I'm clueless as to what to do for other people when they are upset.

Bottom line, I don't care what the "Super-Autistics" can do (if there actually is such a thing). I'm good at what I know and I can muddle through most of the rest when I need to. So I'm not an astrophysicist. I bet a lot of them can't draw or write a funny joke. As the old saying goes, "You can't have everything - where would you put it?"

I think I would like to see "super autistics" in action on whatever their special interest is, or maybe not. Would depend if I'm interested in the same things. I'm not about to watch Rainman though. I'm jealous of that super math s**t.

I get frustrated with myself because I've never really had the motivation to develop a full-blown fixation since I was a very young age. I've always been ahead of my peers academically, but I still make many silly errors, and I have a hard time coping with that. I know I'm not a savant, but some people can't tell the difference. Then I'm put in a situation where I clearly make a mistake, and people make jabs at me for it. I know they don't mean anything by it, but it still hurts.

I've only really known about the whole Aspergers thing for a few weeks so nobody ever had that expectation of me.

In my immediate family people have assumed I'm some kind of genius sometimes. Like my elder brother once said something like "You're so smart you must think of me like some kind of imbecile." or something like that. That kinda made me feel uncomfortable because I'm not some kind of genius. I may score really high on an IQ test or even be able to get into mensa if I tried but that doesn't make me Einstein - even having a high IQ doesn't qualify you as a genius. Maybe if you are really intelligent you can achieve some kind of great thing in a specialized field and become recognized as a genius but that's if you can stick to one thing and have the capacity to go out there and just do it. I've always had an issue deciding which direction to go and issues staying in college so I'm hardly genius material and the idea is completely ridiculous to me. That and I'm not that smart. The other week my younger brother introduced me as a genius to someone he knew and that made me uncomfortable and I asked him not to say that to people. Maybe it's a case of perspective, my mum said she sees me as some kind of maths professor but I'm not that good at maths even.

Sometimes when you're great at something people love to see you fail. Not saying that's the case for you cause you seem to take it not so serious. When I was still in school two of my mates challenged me by bringing in a quiz book saying "You think you know everything so we're going to test you". :-/

I'm almost 29 and only recently I have started to discover the part of myself that I can feel good about doing, while not feeling the need to compete and looking at how good others are doing it, and I think there lies part the problem, that we sometimes feel so small compared to people who are more successful in the grand scheme of things.

People who are considered genius are usually working in fields that make an impact on a grand scale, but that does not mean that because you do not reach that level, you do not make an impact on the lives of others, or that your strengths are therefore not strong enough.

This is how I see it in a metaphoric way

To an elderly couple who have been buying flowers for their anniversary every year for 50 years from the same florist, this florist could be a genius level florist, and they praise him because he made an impact on their lives for so long, this florist could look at the florists who deliver flowers to the president, and say "but I will never be as good as them", but to the people that he sells flowers to he is just as good, as those other florists are to presidents, and that is the only real thing that matters in life, and if this florist can feel happy about that, then he has achieved plenty in life.

Don't wish for things that may never be, while being blind to all the things that already were, but you deemed not good enough.

Not saying you shouldn't dream, but don't lose yourself in those dreams, at least that is what I learned the last few years.

Last edited by Jonov on 26 Jul 2013, 3:48 pm, edited 1 time in total.

I feel bad about not being able to perform well in higher education. My best friend is going to school to be a mechanical engineer while I have no idea what I'm going to do with my life. It's things like that that make me feel inadequete. If I had other genetics than I could choose something to study in college and this wouldn't be a problem.

I've always been the guy who can do whatever I put my mind to, and it's true. That being said, I surf the poverty line, even though I have made 6 figure income in the past. My inability to "click up" and play politics trumps my brains every time. In the end, those that are liked get the jobs, promotions, and everything else.

I am a true working robot who although is liked, not so for the true me.

Make a choice:

Wear a mask and make it further.

Be yourself and prepare for struggles.

It sucks, but only we can change it.

it sounds like might need to work on self acceptance.

am severely autistic and also have severe LD [the UK definition of learning disability,which is americas definition of intelectual disability], am low functioning,under two power of attorneys and have got a lifetime placement in residential care.
however,am perfectly ok/fine/great with what have got in terms of mental capacity AKA inteligence,its an awful measurement to judge people by and define us all on a hierarchy,never let inteligence limit options or interests; or fill with narcisism due to having a big score.
so many people have genious iq reports when they never put that to use in their life,and the high iq culture is nothing to look up to.
people so often develop a victim mentality when they do a online IQ test and wrongly get placed on the intelectual disability spectrum or develop a bigger ego because a website quiz or a pyschologist gave them 'genious',they end up believing what someone tells them instead of trusting themselves.

have never used the labels of mine to define what think of self,have never limited self due to labels.
if am unable to do something that want to do-will try and try and keep trying again for years,and if am unable to do something will keep trying to find ways around 'barriers'.
am intelectualy disabled but probably more positive and at ease with self and life than any person who is genuinely in the genious range.
a problem that comes with having high iq is people have a higher awareness of themselves,society and the environment; and like those of us with intelectual disability they are shunned and bullied because of their label-see, people are never pleased with what they have.

instead of seeing ourselves as having whatever level of iq we shoud be getting to see ourselves with no limits instead,we woud be doing ourselves and society a huge favour.