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SheldonGC
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27 Jul 2013, 2:54 pm

Can you tolerate people touching you at all? Can you be touched in certain places, but not others? Does it depend on who is touching you? Is the discomfort from a physical sensation, or does it just feel threatening/suffocating?

I can't tolerate anything more than a handshake from most people, the one big exception is that I don't feel the same way if it is a girlfriend (when I am in a relationship), or a close female friend, then I really enjoy it.

With most people, it just makes me feel trapped, like the person is in my personal space, and I can't get away.



Jory
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27 Jul 2013, 2:55 pm

Most of the time, no.



ChristianFS1
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27 Jul 2013, 3:05 pm

It very much depends on the circumstances. most of the time it's okay, but in some rare cases i'll feel like i've frozen solid, like i can't move, almost like a of saying i can't tolerate what's happening. this mostly happens when i feel like i'm getting petted or cuddled with.



League_Girl
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27 Jul 2013, 3:13 pm

It depends on my mood. Most times I prefer to be left alone. If I want a hug, I can tolerate it. If I want a cuddle, I will too. If someone asks for my permission to hug me, I will allow it but only for a few seconds. Then I feel I want to get away like my personal space is being invaded.


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Drehmaschine
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27 Jul 2013, 3:40 pm

I do not like it at all. It intrusive and uncomfortable. It sucks that I have to work beside touch happy people.



Shakarians
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27 Jul 2013, 3:43 pm

Usually I'm okay with being touched by close family members. Unless I'm really irritated I can endure a hug or a tap on the shoulder unless I'm really irritated (then I just don't want to be touched at all).

But with strangers (or when I'm irritated) I get a significant negative feedback to the touch. Like I'm suddenly angry and I don't know why. I'll shout "don't touch me" or "stop!" without really realizing why it makes me so uncomfortable.



Panddora
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27 Jul 2013, 3:59 pm

I am fine with family and people I like but as soon as strangers want to do the kissing thing I hate it. I never know where to kiss and feel very awkward and it feels so false as neither of us give a damn about the other.



nikkiDT
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27 Jul 2013, 4:11 pm

It depends. I am fine with my family and friends touching/hugging me as long as it doesn't last for long or it isn't too tight. Otherwise, I feel really uncomfortable.



babybird
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27 Jul 2013, 4:12 pm

On my own terms yes.



auntblabby
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27 Jul 2013, 4:28 pm

I crave kind touch.



KingdomOfRats
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27 Jul 2013, 4:28 pm

depends what touch means.
one of the ways support staff deal with challenging behavior,general not being well,and meltdowns of mine is to use very very acute bear hugs from behind with a heavy blanket,they wont do it from front due to hitting out,biting etc.
its like being ultra calm and then am sent to sleep from coming down from the stress chemical release.
am not able to take normal pressured hugs,nor any contact from the front,am not able to initiate hugs or touch either,its a concept that will always be above self as it is part of initiating interacting.

had been completely unable to handle any touch at all not that long ago,it was only upon coming into a LD institution a decade back where staff were hands on [in more ways than one],they werent afraid of the kicking off that happens from touch,whereas family were unable to cope with it so never helped to build tolerance.
in own view,child autists shoudnt be left as they are if they challenge a parents/carers action;such as touch, sensory integration is one method that can be teamed with ABA to help us develop tolerance early and not have such a negative view of it as adults,touch can have huge benefits for us if we can get to a stage where it helps calm our arrousal system rather than just heighten it,it needs to be done before adult age really as its much more difficult and much more painful trying to work on this as adults.

unpredictible touch is worse as it has a higher level of fight or flight response caused which means more of the stress chemicals released.


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nuttyengineer
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27 Jul 2013, 4:39 pm

If I know that someone is going to touch me, then I will tolerate it, though I definitely don't enjoy it. If someone unexpectedly touches me, even if they accidentally brush past me, then I'm going to do whatever the hell it takes to get them off of me ASAP.


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thymps
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27 Jul 2013, 5:14 pm

As long as it's firm touching (no light brushes or soft stroking, ugh) and it is expected or I have a warning it's fine. I also am very tactile with family/close friends more than they find comfortable actually- they say I'm too rough when I grab them etc. Otherwise I hate it.

I've also misinterpreted what kind of 'touching' is appropriate/required before actually; like in situations where I don't know whether to kiss/hug/hand shake etc I've done the wrong thing. Like when I met a friend's grandparents before I kissed the grandfather on the cheek because she did and I didn't know what to do. It was awkward. :oops:


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babybird
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27 Jul 2013, 5:21 pm

Oh I never know how to meet and greet people these days. We should just go back to a simple nod, that worked quite well for me.



BeggingTurtle
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27 Jul 2013, 5:34 pm

I can take touching family, unless they force affection, like my dad does: basically, he commands me to hug him and I refuse. I can hold my girlfriend's hand without panicking too much and my other hand starts flapping :lol:


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Jonov
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27 Jul 2013, 5:51 pm

I don't like being touched at all really, and I do not see any logical reason for it, because I do not need non verbal communication to understand that somebody sees me as a friend, nor do I understand why someone would ( you are friends with me for who I am and not for how I shake hands or give kisses), and for me its in the realm of the unnecessary amongst other "human" things like small-talk.

My grandmother always expected me to give her a kiss when we went to visit her and I thought it was horrible I would actually prepare myself for it mentally during the 2.5 hours we had to drive to her house.

I do not like to give handshakes, because I don't know what the people have touched before they touch my hand, so I always wash my hands after if I can, usually while conveniently making someone something to drink :twisted:, or by visiting the toilet right after when meeting in a restaurant.