Have some of you been in the same spot?

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think I got scared about what people thought about me and ran away from the site for a while. I kinda wish i didn't because looking back I think I had more support then anyone's ever given me. i thank you guys for that To bad at the time i didn't realize. i only saw my mistakes or that i wasnt to brilliant. I'm definitely still confused I do go back and forth on the thought of what disability I may or may not have an things are confusing. That moment where I believe that my last diagnosis was the end of everything and it wasn't.
In fact it probably just confused me more in the near future because I only wanted it to go away. Figures I will probably never know what it is. But I guess I am just a person and I need to focus on that I doubt I will but ill try again.
My question is has anyone ever been in the same spot as me? Not understanding where you fit because doctors throw you around.
And you believe 1 thing and then one day you think another thing and your brain wants to explode?

I long have used the docs merely as gatekeepers to care, I do my own research as to what makes me tick.

Yes, but not on this site. I have been avoiding somewhere else due to how I view myself these days. Logically I know they won't see me differently just because I do, but I have a hard time going back.

I scaled my self-identity back years ago. I'd rather define myself in the context of the company I keep, the work I get done and what I can do for my friends as a result.

_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos

I can relate.

I joined this site a few days ago, in hysterics. I didn't leave, but it's really embarrassing that I posted like that. However, I think something like that is natural for suspected/freshly diagnosed aspies. It's not a 'lite' issue to deal with. Getting diagnosed with, say, depression could be hard, but Asperger's is a disorder dealing with the entire brain and its function.


As for not knowing what's wrong, I've been there too. My parents were abusive and neglectful, so it took my own self (with the strongest will an 10 year old can have, saying they'd kill themselves if they turned out like their parents) to get the ball going. I started at depression. I got some counciling for a bit after tirelessly convincing my mom. Then it became anxiety, I had bad panic attacks. I beat those with hard exercise, breathing, and words. Then I was unexplainably dizzy. Then I had severe headaches. Then it was ADD: then a thought disorder, then BPD, OCD, depressiob, and anxiety.

At the time, each diagnosis felt right, as per isolated symptom. Gowever, since discovering AS, I've found that even things I'd never considered as odd are explained/revealed as odd.

I think that one of the posters here is right to be basically saying that this may not be your destination, but it may help you to get off at this stop, and take the next train from gere.

I'm not sure.

I haven't really gone through many possible diagnoses. What I have gone through is the challenge of dual diagnoses, and trying to figure out where one condition ends and the other begins. I have both PDD NOS and PTSD, and I have been known to misattribute traits of one condition to the other condition (in both directions).

I use my therapist as a sounding board for my issues and 9 times out of ten I hear myself giving my own answers and take only bits and pieces of the advice she offers. Mark of a good therapist, I'd say.
More diagnostically, she spent an awful lot of time waffling between AS and OCD before settling in on AS. I had done (and continued to do) a great deal of my own research and started working on my issues my own way before being officially diagnosed.