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equestriatola
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31 Jul 2013, 11:04 am

zer0netgain wrote:
equestriatola wrote:
Does anybody have any advice about my jealousy for my sister getting married?


1. Remind yourself that over half of marriages end in divorce?

2. Make a choice to be happy for her. Choose to invoke positive attitudes about her "fortune" rather than feel ill about her having something you don't (I presume from your question that you're single).


I am closing to have a woman of my own.


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JakeASD
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18 Jun 2017, 6:54 pm

Sorry to bump our old thread.

Are there constructive ways in which to deal with jealousy?

My one and only friend (who happens to be my ex-girlfriend) today stated that she was called "beautiful" today by someone, and the two are now friends on Facebook. Upon hearing this, I felt conflicted emotions. I was pleased that she had been complimented on her good looks, but at the same time I was extremely jealous at the thought that she could be with another guy soon. I believe jealousy has been a problem of mine my entire life, and eventually it manifests into seemingly uncontrollable anger. :(

Can this be eradicated somehow?


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naturalplastic
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19 Jun 2017, 8:36 pm

equestriatola wrote:
This topic is about jealousy and autism.
----
Is it possible that autistic people are more jealous? I mean, case in point: I can't help but feel a little jealous inside about my older sister getting married in October. Yes, I am proud of her, but part of me just can't help but think "Why can't that be me getting married?" (Oh, on a semi-related note, my wedding will be at Dodger Stadium in Los Angeles.)

Does anybody else experience this feeling of jealousy?


Are you talking about "jealousy"? Or are you talking about envy?

If you resent someone for being successful in some way, or for having something you want, then that's "envy".

If someone is muscling in on your girlfriend/wife then that's jealousy. Not quite the same thing.

Women tend to get married much earlier in life then do men. That's one thing that you have to keep in mind.



shortfatbalduglyman
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19 Jun 2017, 9:28 pm

yeah i get jealous a lot.

but there ain't no method of measuring jealousy.

certainly extroverts and neurotypicals get jealous too.

and when i get jealous i get obsessed with it.

gratitude could help.

and not comparing yourself to others. at least, not as much.

do your best. and then be satisfied.

yeah easier said than done, i know.




jealous of:

cisgenders, neurotypicals, extroverts, precious lil "people" with more $$, higher metabolism, higher IQ scores, whites, athletic, straight, socially adept,



auntblabby
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19 Jun 2017, 9:30 pm

^^^^^I useta be jealous of most of those things, but as one grows old it gradually sinks in that if I was magically able to jump into the more privileged lives of those beautiful people, that i'd be trading one set of problems for another.



shortfatbalduglyman
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19 Jun 2017, 10:08 pm

^^^^^I useta be jealous of most of those things, but as one grows old it gradually sinks in that if I was magically able to jump into the more privileged lives of those beautiful people, that i'd be trading one set of problems for another.
_________________________________________________________________________________________

yeah well i am 34 years old.

yes, it is correct, that the "beautiful people" you are jealous of, have their own problems, that are not visible. and you do not always know what their problems are.

but seriously though

some problems are worse than others.

like for instance. i wish i was skinny, smart, and attractive.

if i were skinny, maybe it would cost too much $$ for food, to maintain the minimum 110#.

if i was smart, maybe i would feel unfulfilled and find it hard(er) to interact with someone socially.

if i were attractive, then maybe someone would rape me.

but some problems are worse than others.

and i would rather be too skinny, smart and attractive. than too ugly fat and stupid



all things being equal

:D



auntblabby
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19 Jun 2017, 10:17 pm

^^^be glad you are not my age.



shortfatbalduglyman
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19 Jun 2017, 10:44 pm

okay. after i turned 12, i rapidly became more emotionally fragile, clinically depressed. after i turned 12, my brain slowed down drastically.

after i turned 21, i rapidly became academically stupider. biking/running/walking/mechanical engineering/structural egineering/math/physics skills dropped off starting then too.

and now i am quickly getting worse in a lot of ways.

and it was never that great to begin with.

so yes i am glad i ain't your age.

b/c $$ is running out, and i am going to be homeless.

unless someone makes the mistake of hiring my worthless corpse.

which is hard to imagine

and besides i find it hard to do the slightest thing now

seriously



auntblabby
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19 Jun 2017, 11:22 pm

the only thing that saved my lame @$$ from total oblivion was something which was #1 on the top of my list of things never to do, namely join the army. back during the Reagan recession when there were no jobs to be had, I was also homeless. that got old real quicklike, especially during winter. eventually, it dawned on me I was going nowhere fast, and the previously gawdawful prospect of the army looked better. back then, they were taking ANYBODY, and I was proof as they took even me [after doing a handful of health and psychiatric waivers] because they needed bodies as it was just after a bunch of Vietnam era troops retired and Ronnie raygun wanted a bigger army to counter the soviets. so in I went, it was rather worse than going on the worst roller coaster in one's whole life [if one hates roller coasters, that is]. I realize that YMMV, but that at least it is something to think about. generally the army is the most liberal in terms of who it will take, at least back in the 80s that was the case, none of the other services would have me at first glance.



Alita
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20 Jun 2017, 1:05 pm

auntblabby wrote:
the only thing that saved my lame @$$ from total oblivion was something which was #1 on the top of my list of things never to do, namely join the army. back during the Reagan recession when there were no jobs to be had, I was also homeless. that got old real quicklike, especially during winter. eventually, it dawned on me I was going nowhere fast, and the previously gawdawful prospect of the army looked better. back then, they were taking ANYBODY, and I was proof as they took even me [after doing a handful of health and psychiatric waivers] because they needed bodies as it was just after a bunch of Vietnam era troops retired and Ronnie raygun wanted a bigger army to counter the soviets. so in I went, it was rather worse than going on the worst roller coaster in one's whole life [if one hates roller coasters, that is]. I realize that YMMV, but that at least it is something to think about. generally the army is the most liberal in terms of who it will take, at least back in the 80s that was the case, none of the other services would have me at first glance.


I've always longed to do something like this, but the living arrangements scare the hell out of me. I don't want nobody touching my stuff. :evil:


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SaveFerris
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20 Jun 2017, 1:18 pm

JakeASD wrote:
Sorry to bump our old thread.

Are there constructive ways in which to deal with jealousy?

My one and only friend (who happens to be my ex-girlfriend) today stated that she was called "beautiful" today by someone, and the two are now friends on Facebook. Upon hearing this, I felt conflicted emotions. I was pleased that she had been complimented on her good looks, but at the same time I was extremely jealous at the thought that she could be with another guy soon. I believe jealousy has been a problem of mine my entire life, and eventually it manifests into seemingly uncontrollable anger. :(

Can this be eradicated somehow?


Not sure it can get completely eradicated but you can definitely get it to a very manageable level , you might find THIS useful reading but basically it's a mindfulness approach to your anxiety.


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20 Jun 2017, 1:44 pm

I'm jealous of the restful dead; they are not plagued with anxieties about the future, nor tortured by bullies.


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SaveFerris
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20 Jun 2017, 2:13 pm

I'm jealous of the restful dead; they are not plagued with anxieties about the future, nor tortured by bullies.


I think that's envy not jealousy


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whatamievendoing
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20 Jun 2017, 2:35 pm

My best friend has had two girlfriends, albeit very briefly in both cases, while I've never had anything close to that. I was jealous of him both times, and part of me still is. On the other hand, both girls also hurt him emotionally, so that makes me slightly less so.


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jrjones9933
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20 Jun 2017, 3:42 pm

Jealousy? I think it's dumb. The wanting can feel better than the having. I understand wanting what someone else has, but I think of jealousy as also wanting the other person not to have that anymore. How will that improve anything? If we each concentrate on getting what we want without having to monopolize it, we can all get that.

If people want exclusive privileges, that probably won't work out overall.


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