Were you a gifted child? How are you seen as adult?

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Yes there seems to be alot of similarity between me and your brother. I always put to much pressure on myself to be perfect I never misbehaved in class always did my best. They wouldn't help me because I got good grades. The only real intervention i received as a child was for my handwriting and I really didn't respond that great to that either. No one thought I was dyspraxic because I played sports and other things just fine. But thanks to burnout everything just fell apart in middle school. Now I can hardly do anything. (although my perfectionism might cause me to exaggerate that a bit. I'm not entirely sure if that if I had more adult intervention would help. I always drove myself to conquer everything. IF anything OT only made this worse because ti convinced me that my flaws could be fixed. It seems. My brother never done great academically and can barely pass high school with help from my parents. He isn't that smart tho, to be entirely fair me and my dad and my sister are smarter than most people. as For hyperlexic, My brother might have a slightly higher reading level than most people but I don't think it's anything major enough to be considered hyperlexia. I'd say i'm hyperlexic cause I could read at a high school+ level when I was 8 however I didn't teach myself to read earlier on so kinda hyperlexic. and for the most part the things I struggled with were things that people didn't expect people my age to do. and Now with burnout the things I really struggle with are to hard for me to learn to do that It'd take me years to learn how to do some of them. It just takes to much energy. Schools wouldn't help me because I didn't self-advocate well or really at all. Didn't show any behavior problems and got good grades. That along with me trying to deal with my trauma and PTSD led me to burning out in middle school. I'm curious has your brother reached burnout stage yet?

How am I seen as an adult?

"What ever happened to him? He seemed so talented, but he could never get it together. He never matured a day, it seems, he's like a tenth grader in many ways. As people got careers and got married, he seemed to be left behind"

Marriage ain't all it's cracked up to be, and as for careers, well that's a nice way to earn some scratch. I reckon career is worth getting, marriage, nah.

Well my philosophy is to each his own, I see a great benefit in many medicines. For instance, my father needed the medicine he took his whole life to manage his mood swings. Without it, inevitably he would get the manic phases that were so disasterous and scary, followed by the crashes. If he started skipping the medicine, thinking he could do without it, that was when disaster struck.

The only drug I have a weakness for is marijuana, I have fond memories of it and have a funny feeling I will be reacquainting myself with it at some point years from now, when I am retired, but while I work, certainly not. I discovered through experimentation that marijuana makes me less effective at work. I lose the edge that is so important in a competitive and challenging environment.

I would never dictate what substances a person can take, because our heads are so different, and because it is none of my business.

I would totally have everything legal, so no drug dealing organizations could use the wealth to dominate societies.

I do have to acknowledge that the toll, especially on the young and inexperienced, would be quite high in such an environment. Families would bear the burden of drug education/prohibition, and the results would be ugly in some cases.

I got picked last for P.E. too, due to lack of coordination, and was never any good at team sports, but it doesn't bother me. I thought P.E. was stupid and I had greater humiliations to contend with than getting picked last. Like failing ninth grade .

As for clothes- I dispense with them when I can, in the privacy of my own home, as they do not feel comfortable to me.

I don't think about my soon-to-be ex-husband, except in terms of how did I make that horrible mistake.

Don't Look Back, You're Not Going in that Direction.

Don't give all those negative voices room in your head. You have got to be your own advocate and your own best friend.

I realize that I was probably not cut out to be a good parent. I have never been a steady earner, and I have always struggled to make sense of my self...there wouldn't have been much attention for my wife and kids given my self-absorption.

Still, as I progress into my 50s I can't help but think about the kids that I could haver had. Perhaps the obligation to take care of them would have "straightened me out".

On bad days, I wonder if my self esteem was so low that I didn't want to make copies of myself

I don't view prostitution through a moral lense, it is a neutral business transaction, much like the massages that cost me $70 ($60 + $10 tip) an hour. It is really a question of how you want to spend your dough. There is a huge industry dedicated to separating guys from their scratch by catering to the sexual impulse, I urge caution. The cheapest product is porn, that is what I would recommend over escorts, although massage has its points. Best is to manage the impulse so it does not tax the finances or emotions too much.

I have already expressed my views on alcohol, I find absolutely no value in it and much potential harm. It is my opinion you open up a gateway on the astral plane during intoxication and beckon evil spirits to come into your world from the outside. They use human beings as their puppets.

Cigarettes are really anti-social these days, I never really felt tempted to indulge that habit. There are a lot of bad things put into cigarette tobacco, if you must smoke I'd recommend buying your own tobacco and rolling your own or using a pipe. I know most folks don't care, but I read about the ingredients that Big Tobacco puts in those things, and it is really an eye-opener.

I guess you pay your money, you take your choices. We are all going to die anyway, right?

I'm another one with poor coordination who was usually picked last for a team . I was shoved in goal ,and let in many goals. That gave the other boys at public school a sick and twisted justification to bully me even more.

That seems a common thread on wrong planet--bad experiences in gym class. P.E. was hell. Our teacher in high school was a violent-tempered man that turned a blind eye to bullies and let them do whatever they wanted. There was blood on the gym floor more than once. Usually the victims got in trouble--he would punish the victims. It was a required class too.

Blood on the gym floor. ,, ugh.... not very appetizing gym to train in, and. Very much worse teacher. Imho

Last edited by Jakki on 27 Jul 2020, 11:27 am, edited 1 time in total.

By my family I was, I was "the smart one" or "the good one" because all I did was read, play video games or spend time on the computer. I was also obsessed with space and scifi, and bugs. In school however I got poor grades because I could not pay attention in class, I just spaced out all the time, my mom relied on some of the girls from school to let her know I had homework. I was classified as "emotionally handicapped" and put in the same classroom and category as the "bad kids" who had behavioral issues and would act out and start fights and throw tantrums, etc. I never did that I just couldn't focus and was easily overwhelmed, being in the same room as those kids did not help.

i agree with you on all points here.

that which i hadn't considered thoroughly, your logic convinces me here.
very well put!

yea. it was shown clearly with this covid19 situation.

lots of managers and ppl in the system, supposedly to help disabled ppl in long term care, scrounge , mismanage, scam the govt and families and clients essentially..
outbreaks that could have been prevented weren't.
then, when they could have been managed with the $$ govt gives for Protective things like gloves/masks/etc, that wasn't done.

then, care was limited as all workers without it refused to come back (justified!) and 2 (sick) infected nurses were managing round the clock (taking shifts while the other nurse slept) in order to look after all these disabled adults.
in a first world country, where these managers didn't even take the donation of PPE that they supposedly asked the mayor to ask us to give them...i guess it wasn't money they could scam away so they didn't care

Make it happen.

I'm an artist, whether or not I'm much of an artist is another question entirely.



Sounds like a career as an emcee might be for you.

Admittedly this was nearly 50 years ago, but my housemaster said to our local vicar that some boys are the type to be bullied. No mention of bullying being wrong.