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The lone wolf

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grouseice79
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02 Aug 2013, 6:43 pm

LoverOfDragons wrote:
grouseice79 wrote:
I'm pretty much used to my own company after nearly a decade living on my own with not much in the way of a social life.

However I don't think I've ever felt so acutely alone as one New Year about five or six years ago when the clock struck midnight. People turned to their partners and kissed and in that moment I suddenly realised I was the only one there on my own.

This New Year I'm going to see if I can get away with spending it by myself.


How do you suppose you'd do that, hon? Do you plan on contacting any female friends to hang out with or do you plan on meeting someone through this site? If you're one who likes to be in close distance relationships, you should check with women to see if they live in the same or similar location you live.


Thanks for the message. I'm always touched when someone replies to me as I don't expect it.

Honestly my plan is to decline all offers of company (will be only from parents/sibling) saying I'm unwell or whatever and treat myself to a nice bottle of single malt scotch for the evening. Or I might forget the scotch and just go to bed and sleep through it all. New Year used to be a good excuse for a celebration but lately it's just been a reminder of my inadequacies and I have no desire to rub my nose in it.

I don't have any female friends or have had any romantic attachment with women. (Actually I'm not sure I really have any male friends either.) I had a couple of attachments to other men but they came to nothing, although in one case I allowed myself to think it might go further, and I'm beginning to accept there isn't going to be anything else.



LoverOfDragons
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02 Aug 2013, 7:06 pm

grouseice79 wrote:
LoverOfDragons wrote:
grouseice79 wrote:
I'm pretty much used to my own company after nearly a decade living on my own with not much in the way of a social life.

However I don't think I've ever felt so acutely alone as one New Year about five or six years ago when the clock struck midnight. People turned to their partners and kissed and in that moment I suddenly realised I was the only one there on my own.

This New Year I'm going to see if I can get away with spending it by myself.


How do you suppose you'd do that, hon? Do you plan on contacting any female friends to hang out with or do you plan on meeting someone through this site? If you're one who likes to be in close distance relationships, you should check with women to see if they live in the same or similar location you live.


Thanks for the message. I'm always touched when someone replies to me as I don't expect it.

Honestly my plan is to decline all offers of company (will be only from parents/sibling) saying I'm unwell or whatever and treat myself to a nice bottle of single malt scotch for the evening. Or I might forget the scotch and just go to bed and sleep through it all. New Year used to be a good excuse for a celebration but lately it's just been a reminder of my inadequacies and I have no desire to rub my nose in it.

I don't have any female friends or have had any romantic attachment with women. (Actually I'm not sure I really have any male friends either.) I had a couple of attachments to other men but they came to nothing, although in one case I allowed myself to think it might go further, and I'm beginning to accept there isn't going to be anything else.


Okay, so let me see if I got this right: you don't know if you like men or women, correct? You may want to consider experimenting. Since you're pretty much living on your own, you oughta consider getting some experience on that. It could help fill the void that you bear.



grouseice79
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02 Aug 2013, 7:29 pm

LoverOfDragons wrote:

Okay, so let me see if I got this right: you don't know if you like men or women, correct? You may want to consider experimenting. Since you're pretty much living on your own, you oughta consider getting some experience on that. It could help fill the void that you bear.


Liked my experience (does it count as experimenting?) with men a lot. I notice females but trying to imagine any intimacy there seems to hit a brick wall in my mind.



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02 Aug 2013, 7:40 pm

Something tells me that you are gay. Don't freak out about that because I am completely cool with that, I mean, I'm bi, so I am cool with that. In fact, I think it's cool that you made such a confession. Some people don't have the guts to confess that.



grouseice79
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02 Aug 2013, 8:17 pm

LoverOfDragons wrote:
Something tells me that you are gay. Don't freak out about that because I am completely cool with that, I mean, I'm bi, so I am cool with that. In fact, I think it's cool that you made such a confession. Some people don't have the guts to confess that.


No I'm not freaked at all. I don't see the point in saying anything other than the truth. I was going to ask where you were coming from regarding this topic so it's cool to know that too I have wondered about bi also over the years (why do we need to be shoved into categories, can't we just be people who like other people?). I miss being held. If I had to put a pin on it that would be it.

It's funny really the one guy I thought I might make it with is the only person I've known who accepted all my foibles completely and even found them endearing. I didn't think someone like that even existed but now all I have is memories.

I hope things are working out better for you that they did for me.



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02 Aug 2013, 8:26 pm

My dear, you sound as though you're giving up on the idea of such a chance for yourself. I'm sure that if you continue being true to yourself and others, there will be that opportunity. I'm sure you'd love to know when and where that will happen, but I am very sad to say that it is unknown even for me :( Life is often a struggle, I know, but they say that if you actually do something about it, it won't be so bad (don't ask me who "they" would be because I have no idea myself).
And honestly, I am unsure of progress of getting myself a boyfriend who could possibly my soulmate. I mean, I am getting to know some guys through this site and all, but none of them live where I live (Grand Junction, Colorado). So I can't exactly say that things are working better for me on my end.
And by the way, if we were like bonobos, then there wouldn't be any war or any prejudice against others for their race, religion, orientation, etc.



grouseice79
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02 Aug 2013, 8:47 pm

LoverOfDragons wrote:
My dear, you sound as though you're giving up on the idea of such a chance for yourself. I'm sure that if you continue being true to yourself and others, there will be that opportunity. I'm sure you'd love to know when and where that will happen, but I am very sad to say that it is unknown even for me :( Life is often a struggle, I know, but they say that if you actually do something about it, it won't be so bad (don't ask me who "they" would be because I have no idea myself).
And honestly, I am unsure of progress of getting myself a boyfriend who could possibly my soulmate. I mean, I am getting to know some guys through this site and all, but none of them live where I live (Grand Junction, Colorado). So I can't exactly say that things are working better for me on my end.
And by the way, if we were like bonobos, then there wouldn't be any war or any prejudice against others for their race, religion, orientation, etc.


I'd say the bonobos are a creature we could learn from.
Don't you ever consider it ironic. Being true to yourself sounds so positive and yet so many people feel the need to behave in an artificial way to get what they want. Is it worth it if it's done under false pretences?
Did you ever hear of the lady of "advancing years" who placed a personal ad she had decided that at her age she needed to have more sex and that if prospective paramours wanted to talk first she liked discussing Anthony Trollope?
There's an honesty I admire. I just wish people could reach that before middle age.

I had to share a flat with load of 18 year old idiots my first year at college. I hope you avoid people like that in your search because they certainly made life hell for me.

I'm in east Scotland btw. Just north of a big river but I don't think it rivals the Colorado.



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02 Aug 2013, 8:54 pm

It is ironic when you put it that way. We humans do need to learn from the bonobos, that's for sure. I mean, yeah, I will have a bit of some fights and all, but they always make up and become friends and all that.
Anyway, no need to worry about me dating 18 year old guys. I don't think that will happen.



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03 Aug 2013, 8:25 am

LoverOfDragons wrote:
It is ironic when you put it that way. We humans do need to learn from the bonobos, that's for sure. I mean, yeah, I will have a bit of some fights and all, but they always make up and become friends and all that.
Anyway, no need to worry about me dating 18 year old guys. I don't think that will happen.

Y?


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03 Aug 2013, 9:13 am

appletheclown wrote:
LoverOfDragons wrote:
It is ironic when you put it that way. We humans do need to learn from the bonobos, that's for sure. I mean, yeah, I will have a bit of some fights and all, but they always make up and become friends and all that.
Anyway, no need to worry about me dating 18 year old guys. I don't think that will happen.

Y?


Because of the fact that a lot of guys who are close to my age (whether they'd be one or two years older or younger than me) are immature and don't know how a girl would be treated. Yeah, I'll admit not all guys are like the last guy I dated (he was quite childish, complaining about the smallest things and leaving me at his house to hang out with his friend! :evil: ) but I'm not willing to take the chance of dating someone who's under 20. And even then, I find that to be a bit questionable. You know, dating someone who's in their early 20s. I'm willing to do so if they're mature for their age, but other than that, ain't gonna happen.



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03 Aug 2013, 10:19 am

LoverOfDragons wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
LoverOfDragons wrote:
It is ironic when you put it that way. We humans do need to learn from the bonobos, that's for sure. I mean, yeah, I will have a bit of some fights and all, but they always make up and become friends and all that.
Anyway, no need to worry about me dating 18 year old guys. I don't think that will happen.

Y?


Because of the fact that a lot of guys who are close to my age (whether they'd be one or two years older or younger than me) are immature and don't know how a girl would be treated. Yeah, I'll admit not all guys are like the last guy I dated (he was quite childish, complaining about the smallest things and leaving me at his house to hang out with his friend! :evil: ) but I'm not willing to take the chance of dating someone who's under 20. And even then, I find that to be a bit questionable. You know, dating someone who's in their early 20s. I'm willing to do so if they're mature for their age, but other than that, ain't gonna happen.


Don't know how a girl should be treated? This trend of not being most guys is becoming dreadfully annoying, and almost a curse (till I get a gf), because when most people say it, they assume the minority isn't worth the effort. Maturity is a thing able to be overlooked though, an immature 19 year old aspie lady who is annoying and bossy is kind of what I need to help me remember what is going on sometimes.


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03 Aug 2013, 10:46 am

appletheclown wrote:
LoverOfDragons wrote:
appletheclown wrote:
LoverOfDragons wrote:
It is ironic when you put it that way. We humans do need to learn from the bonobos, that's for sure. I mean, yeah, I will have a bit of some fights and all, but they always make up and become friends and all that.
Anyway, no need to worry about me dating 18 year old guys. I don't think that will happen.

Y?


Because of the fact that a lot of guys who are close to my age (whether they'd be one or two years older or younger than me) are immature and don't know how a girl would be treated. Yeah, I'll admit not all guys are like the last guy I dated (he was quite childish, complaining about the smallest things and leaving me at his house to hang out with his friend! :evil: ) but I'm not willing to take the chance of dating someone who's under 20. And even then, I find that to be a bit questionable. You know, dating someone who's in their early 20s. I'm willing to do so if they're mature for their age, but other than that, ain't gonna happen.


Don't know how a girl should be treated? This trend of not being most guys is becoming dreadfully annoying, and almost a curse (till I get a gf), because when most people say it, they assume the minority isn't worth the effort. Maturity is a thing able to be overlooked though, an immature 19 year old aspie lady who is annoying and bossy is kind of what I need to help me remember what is going on sometimes.


I am completely unsure of what to think of that last part of your comment. Lol oh well, that's okay ^_^ I assume, though, you're lonely and stuff?



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03 Aug 2013, 10:55 am

LoverOfDragons wrote:
I am completely unsure of what to think of that last part of your comment. Lol oh well, that's okay ^_^ I assume, though, you're lonely and stuff?


No I was serious, I want an annoying bossy (physically fit if I'm lucky) aspie lady. I like that personality. I need help remembering things, a lot. Lonely and stuff? By golly I haven't made any friends or buddies to hang with in this small town I live in yet! How am I supposed to get a girlfriend if I don't have people who encourage me to do so. I'm going to go to find an mma class, this topic just made me realize how much I need to get out there.


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03 Aug 2013, 11:18 am

I see. Well I'm not too sure if I actually helped, but at least you seem to be motivated to do something about getting friends and a girlfriend. I wish you luck on that.



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03 Aug 2013, 12:55 pm

I have exactly the same problems