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Butterfly
Butterfly

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05 Aug 2013, 9:29 pm

New here, my 16 yr old son just received official diagnosis that in addition to his Tourette's, OCD, ADHD, and learning disorder he has "a low to moderate autism spectrum disorder", he's also had mild depression which seems to be getting worse. Until he started high school 2 years ago my son's symptoms were for the most part manageable. He struggled a little in school but with a lot of support at home he did pretty well.

In the last six months, his symptoms and his behavior have grown progressively worse. He struggles with daily basic hygiene. If I'm lucky he'll shower every other day and change his clothes at that time. He has to be pushed to brush his teeth (he's gone 2-3 days) and cut his nails and rarely uses deodorant. He thinks since he's just hanging around the house he shouldn't need to mess with the clothes and everything else is just too much work. He can be incredibly nasty to me and his sister - he won't even speak to her and refers to her as "it". Every time she walks near him, he has a need to reach out and act like he's going to hit her. He seldom leaves the house anymore and has pretty much dropped out of all his activities except wanting to play video games. He wants to be home schooled because of some bullying he experienced, and he had a really tough time with one of his teachers last year. He used to be a pretty compliant kid when he was younger but has become much more defiant. If I ask him to help around the house he'll often refuse. He told me the other day he wasn't my slave (all I ask of him at this point is taking the trash out).

He insists he's an adult and a "man" even though he's far from it and won't make himself any meals and won't do anything on his own. I think someone called him a "kid" and he thinks that's a big insult. He insists I can't say he's my kid or child even though I explained he will always be my child.

He desperately needs medication and therapy yet refuses both. His tics (or stims or OCD behaviors) are enough to drive anyone insane at this point. When he's not on his Xbox or computer he paces through the house repeatedly touching walls with his feet, touching door frames and spitting on the floor when the urge hits him. He denies he has any issues, nothing is ever his fault. He could do something in front of 5 witnesses and would still deny it. Communicating with him is hit or miss. Rarely I can get him to talk but other times he just tells me to shut up or go away.

Is this typical during puberty or am I faced with some other nasty disorder rearing its ugly head? I feel like he's really regressing and or not progressing at all.



EsotericResearch
Deinonychus
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05 Aug 2013, 10:26 pm

I went through similar things during my puberty ("Moderate functioning" autistic person) and a lot of the aggression is a hormonal thing. It's a passing phase and what he might want to be involved in is some sort of physical, group activity like LARP role play. He probably needs to be with a group of kids his age that are also into the same stuff and if you see him listening to heavy metal, hardcore rap or going into Gothic rock that's definitely a natural place to channel aggression. How about suggesting some video game clubs and tournaments to participate in if that's his hobby.

For me a lot of what helped was getting into hardcore hip hop. I listened to this highly aggressive music and dressed in a 'ratchet' manner similar to that of an inner city gangster. I played Grand Theft Auto and got into the subculture, and it kept me focused on school and work and stuff. Don't worry about the bath thing a lot of autistics (and hippies! and punk rockers!) don't bathe every day. I do twice a week (I'm female) and am a gainfully employed adult in financial services.

Quote:
He insists I can't say he's my kid or child even though I explained he will always be my child.


Yeah if it's a trigger just stay away from it. There is a psychological need to be a man because biologically and in historical times, this is the age when he becomes a man. This is why he should probably hang out with other young men but I wouldn't tell him to but it could be a good help.



nopenope
Blue Jay
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06 Aug 2013, 9:27 am

sigh wrote:
in addition to his Tourette's, OCD, ADHD, and learning disorder he has "a low to moderate autism spectrum disorder", he's also had mild depression which seems to be getting worse.


I am not a psychiatrist but consider talking to yours about the possibility that the Tourette's, OCD, ADHD, mild depression, and learning disorder may all be mis-diagnosees of single aspects of the autism.

sigh wrote:
He struggles with daily basic hygiene. If I'm lucky he'll shower every other day and change his clothes at that time. He has to be pushed to brush his teeth (he's gone 2-3 days) and cut his nails and rarely uses deodorant.


Consider the possibility that he has a smell, touch, or sound sensitivity. For me, the sensitivities made total sense in retrospect, but until I figured them out I didn't know what was bothering me. How loud is your ceiling fan, bathroom light, and showerhead? Are you using a gentle showerhead or a massaging type? Are you using scented soap, shampoo, conditioner, deodorant, etc? Get unscented everything. Same goes for laundry detergent and fabric softener. Also try the milder/no alcohol mouthash and try a variety of toothpastes and see which he uses more.



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Butterfly
Butterfly

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07 Aug 2013, 6:31 pm

Thanks for responses. I will talk to psych about this all being part of autism. I do think a lot of it is related although the tics and OCD seemed to come along when puberty hit. His autistic behaviors are much more amplified in the last year which is what concerns me - he always didn't quite meet the criteria before and even this time doc was hesitant. Didn't think he presented with classic clinical presentation.

The hygiene thing seems to be more related to executive function issues - he feels its all too much effort. I had all of the non-smelly stuff but he wanted to smell like a man so I finally got him some Axe. He used for a few days and now can't be bothered.