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GunsAndRoses
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21 Jan 2014, 6:38 am

WillMcC wrote:
My high school was literally a prison - it was housed in a single large building and only a few classrooms had windows. All the walls were painted grey, though most halls were carpeted (though when I visited the campus a couple of years ago, even that had been removed and security cameras had been added)

High school was four years of torture for me. I only went for the classes - my social life was virtually non-existent and lunch time was an hour of constant noise. I got along with most of my teachers very well, but gave up on trying to make friends with the other kids. Bullying was a major problem, especially in my sophomore year. My senior year was not as bad - by that time I was in all the "smart" kid classes (AP). With those classes, it seemed like we were all working together to conquer the AP exams. I did not do prom though (I figured that it was something for "couples", so I never bothered)
Not all my memories of high school were bad, but the best part (of course) was graduation.


Sounds similar to my story. Last year of high school I got into a new class with more motivated kids. It was my rescue, I don't think I could have endured another year of bullying by the kids from my first years. Of course I did not escape it entirely as they were still in the same school. I remember one episode where a new friend I'd made in the new class sat at a table with my former bullies during lunch. They fed him (untrue) stories about me and he looked at me in a weird way. He didn't want to be friends with me anymore after that. Perhaps just as well.



forbidden77
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21 Jan 2014, 8:47 pm

I have always had trouble socializeing and it comes across often as awkward at best and people have never really understood what i was trying to say because I only see things as black and white. To me everything is either one way or the other with no shades of grey in between and so my thoughts and opinions come across as extreme. And so my entire school life I was bullied and tortured not just by the students but in high school there was a teacher who would let the big kids hit me and push me and stuff and the principal himself constantly harassed me and was always accuseing me of things and it would seem that when i got the worst of the bullying he was always close by which I think is because he was telling them to do it becauyse he hated me for being a absolute nonconformist and the only student he couldnt break. I have Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from it all and to this day it haunts me.


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Ashariel
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22 Jan 2014, 11:39 pm

I only made it to school about 2 days a week, because I just couldn't face the overwhelming confusion and social expectations, and the stress of it all made me physically sick. I couldn't keep on top of my assignments, zoned out during class, and had serious reading comprehension problems.

That being said, I got straight A's and was valedictorian of my graduating class. :?



bearsandsyrup
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23 Jan 2014, 1:07 am

In one word, awkward.

I had several friends who would hang out with me privately, but most of them didn't invite me to parties or anything because I was too weird and they'd be embarrassed. I read a lot of books, was pretty physically inactive, went back and forth between apathy towards school and obsession with good grades (the latter coming the last two years of high school).

People always thought I was too weird to be legitimately smart, so they always got quiet or affronted when I scored better than them. I remember getting the highest score in my physics class and (thanks, inconsiderate teacher for announcing that in front of the class) the guy in our class who always tried to show off how clever he was exclaimed, "HER?!" Thanks for the vote of confidence. Similar reaction in my AP Psychology class when we got our SAT scores back. I was avoiding involving myself in the conversation, but I was asked by a classmate, so I responded and everyone sitting near me literally turned their back towards me. It made me feel bad for being good at something.

I wasn't really dating material, so I never got asked to any of the dances. I basically just continuously steeled myself and pushed forward, telling myself that once I got to college, my life would be better and I would be better liked. And lo and behold, I was right.

Anyways, high school was awkward and uncomfortable.



Adamantium
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23 Jan 2014, 11:30 am

bearsandsyrup wrote:
I was avoiding involving myself in the conversation, but I was asked by a classmate, so I responded and everyone sitting near me literally turned their back towards me.


This brings back painful memories. This is an experience I wish I did not share. Sorry you had it.

Thank god it (high school) is not something we'll ever have to do again.



GiantHockeyFan
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27 Jan 2014, 8:00 am

bearsandsyrup wrote:
People always thought I was too weird to be legitimately smart, so they always got quiet or affronted when I scored better than them. I remember getting the highest score in my physics class and (thanks, inconsiderate teacher for announcing that in front of the class) the guy in our class who always tried to show off how clever he was exclaimed, "HER?!" Thanks for the vote of confidence. Similar reaction in my AP Psychology class when we got our SAT scores back. I was avoiding involving myself in the conversation, but I was asked by a classmate, so I responded and everyone sitting near me literally turned their back towards me. It made me feel bad for being good at something.

Sounds like my life described, except I had the difficulties mostly in Junior High. I remember we had this competition to build popsicle bridges for shop class. Due to my poor motor skills, it didn't look exactly 'polished' but I said it was a good design to everyone. The semi-popular kid was winning (it was a weight test) and everyone was heaping praises on him. When I won, everyone practically said in unison that it was too crooked to be tested properly and should not count and turned their backs on me.

Another time, the kids were bragging about how good they were at a popular video game. I mentioned that I could beat everyone and I was just instantly ignored like I was a ghost. When I DID do it months later (I destroyed the popular kids) everyone acted like it literally did not happen and they proceeded to praise the second place kid like HE was the champion. It was a surreal experience. Even when I did good at sports, the other kids would usually say "big deal you probably cheated" or "who cares?" While congratulating the other kids like they won the Super Bowl for doing the exact same thing.

One thing I did find was that getting really high grades usually kept the bullies at bay a bit probably because the lazy kids could kiss up to you to get free help or outright plagiarize your work. Had that happen to me too...



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27 Jan 2014, 10:16 am

"junior High" (Age 10-14) was hell for me, while I mostly enjoyed my high school time. (Age 15-20). I did not go to the normal high school, but because of some "abilities and IQ" tests before, I was recommended to visit an advanced high school, that was a mix of high school and university. (Because of that lasts as well 2 years longer then average high school here.) So we did not have stuff like music, art, ... but instead everything was filled with technical subjects. (The only nontechnical stuff was physical education that must be taught in every school in my country, and english, but as well with a focus on technical english.)

Most student that went to that school did so, because of them really being interested in the teached lessons, so its way harder then normal high school, so you dont go there out of fun. I think that leaded to most of my classmates anyway being a bit more geeky or nerdy, than the average NT-class, as well as being less interested into that typical puberty behavior. So there were classmates as well, that were interested in "wearing the cool brand-cloths" or having cool hairstyles, but they were maybe 1/3 of class, so there was no dominance about that. And not being interested into that kind of stuff, was not automatically considered to be weird behavior.

Unlike my junior high, being intense in an hobby was far more accepted, so we had a group of classmates that played pen and paper (that typical dungeons and dragons stuff), others took instruments in class and played in pauses, or reading of classic books and talking about them, as well that we had people that did normal stuff like skating in pauses and so on. I really loved being there. :)

Non-normal behavior was as well far more acceptec by the teachers, so when I felt overwhelmed, I often missed lessons (about 1 day a week), but it was far more accepted. So it was more like university, when teachers dont run after you, but expect you to be able on your own, to do was it necessary to pass the tests. If you dont: Then your gone and its not their problem. So they did not bother that much, when I decided to miss certain lessons or subjects, to learn on my own instead. In junior school before, that was a No-go, and when I missed a day, my parents was informed, I got yelled at, and knows hell what. In that high school, the only thing that mattered, were your marks - as long as they were ok, everything was ok. With the including border-home it was similar. There were house rules, and as long as you cared for the house rules and your marks were ok, nobody bothered you, and you could easily spent the whole week without any educator talking to you.

There was much school related stress, because of the much learning (it consumed most of the days, and there was rather few free time to spend), but when it comes to classmates, confidence and all of that, it was the best time of all. :)



BLK95TA
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02 Feb 2014, 9:54 am

To borrow a phrase from back to the future 2.

It's like we're in hell or something. No it's high school (hill valley) but i can't imagine hell being much worse.

I was bullied badly through high school and am lucky i graduated before columbine. Ignoring people didn't work, trying to be friendly didn't work, telling on people didn't work, but when someone tries hitting you with a car and then you lie to them and claim to have a gun and tell them you'll shoot through their windshield if they try it again, they'll leave you alone. I knew the kid couldn't go running to the principal to tell on me for what i said because he'd have to admit to trying to hig me with his car. I never owned a gun but if people pushed me too far i'd use comments like that as scare tactics.



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05 Feb 2014, 3:33 pm

Overall, I liked my time in high school. I went to a Christian high school, and while it had its problems most of the students were polite and friendly. Of course, if I had told any of them that I was gay, their attitudes towards me may have been different. As it was, though, I had enough trouble making friends; romantic relationships were out of the question for me.

I definitely wasn't a sociable kid. I had a few friends, although I didn't hang out with any of them outside of school or study. I spent most of my lunch time in the library, not because I liked reading but because it was quieter than playing outside (which I never found interesting anyway). I was one of the smart kids, and even though I was isolated and rather strange, I was still considered a respectable high-achiever. Which is kinda weird, since I wasn't the most diligent student – in fact, I was downright erratic, managing to both impress and frustrate my teachers in equal measure.

My senior year was in 2001. I was the only one in my senior year not to go to our formal (prom), although a few people did try to convince me to come. Personally, though, I didn't see the point. I wasn't planning on going to my graduation dinner either, but a teacher talked me into it. A fellow senior student and I were invited to write op-eds for our yearbook about our thoughts for the future. Of course, we chose to write about 9/11. All people finishing high school feel some uncertainty about the world they're facing, but in that particular year everyone felt uncertain.

My friend wrote about an unwavering devotion to God in the face of global turmoil. I advocated diplomacy over war. Looking back, it's kinda funny reading teenagers' earnest but naive solutions to life's problems. You never stop learning in life, even after you close your schoolbooks for the last time and take your first steps into life outside of school.


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Moomingirl
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05 Feb 2014, 4:27 pm

Ashariel wrote:
I only made it to school about 2 days a week, because I just couldn't face the overwhelming confusion and social expectations, and the stress of it all made me physically sick. I couldn't keep on top of my assignments, zoned out during class, and had serious reading comprehension problems.

That being said, I got straight A's. :?


That sounds exactly like my experience.

Murihiku, your "managing to both impress and frustrate my teachers in equal measure" is something I can relate to. They kept saying to me "if only you would apply yourself.......". Yeah, what? I can't see what I could have done that would beat A's. :?



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05 Feb 2014, 10:16 pm

I went to high school from 1975-1979. The only great parts was when I was able to converse with teachers. I didn't get along with most of the kids then. I wasn't bullied much--but it was quite lonely. I commuted from Far Rockaway to Manhattan for part of my school career; the trains were from 1949, and were quite cold in winter. There was a funny West Indian conductor who announced the stops and offered tidbits of advice. I also howled like a wolf on the trains.

I barely graduated, because I wasn't able to write a term paper very well. Ironically, I always did well in English and History. Most of my classes, actually. Mostly A's and B's.

18 years after I graduated high school, I enrolled in college. I took one bad paper, and its mark thereof to force me to write decent papers subsequently. I was fortunate to be able to attain a 3.8 GPA. I graduated after 8 years, since I had a full-time job at the same time.



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06 Feb 2014, 7:22 pm

I was high on robitussin 2+ days a week mon-fri and all the time on the weekends. It was the only way I could turn the volume down on my life and the anxiety. Back then there were no life-long consequences to defying all the rules, so thats what I did. Luckily I was at a magnet school and the administration was pretty laissez-faire about it, letting me do my own thing as long as nobody got hurt. I didn't really have close friends, and those that became close I cut off when they became boring/needy, but everyone knew me. I was even on the homecoming court. I campaigned around to all the super nerds and other outcasts. Those were the people I admired and treated nicely. I was a chess club groupie. Those votes add up. But yeah mostly I was on drugs.



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09 Jul 2019, 3:36 pm

I didn't go to a traditional high school. I was home-schooled from 5th grade to 11th grade. My mom was very controlling of me when she home-schooled me and often pressured me into meltdowns and then punished me for meltdowns. I was home-schooled because the public school wouldn't do anything about the bullying and I would fight back when bullied. They wanted to put me into a school for emotionally disturbed kids so I wouldn't be their problem anymore. I was in special ed because I had problems with math (dyscalculia wasn't diagnosed back then...or at least not at that school). I was in the fourth grade at the time but given 1st grade level work.

A private school was simply out of the question. We lived in the middle of nowhere and my parents weren't open to moving. I also think they were worried my behavior would get me kicked out and they wouldn't get their money back. There were no autism schools back then....especially not in the middle of the boondocks. Online school wasn't an option either. Back then it took about three weeks for a single page to load.

My mom knew a lady who home-schooled her grandson (he very likely has Asperger's but his grandparents were very old fashioned and didn't want him "labeled") and my mom decided to try it with me. I got sick several times from stress. My mom would tell me that if I wanted to be a veterinarian, I had to figure out how to cope with that workload. My brother was in college for pre med and when I was showing him all my schoolbooks, he said that was WAY more than he had. I was so traumatized from the bullying at public school if my mom wanted me to stop "acting up" she could just threaten to send me back to public school. I needed therapy badly but my mom was against me seeing one because they "only tell you what you want to hear" and I think my mom was worried they would question her for not "socializing" me enough. She even told me to lie whenever I went to the regular doctor and she asked about it.

Eventually, after I convinced my mom to let me move out of the boonies and in the suburbs. I learned how to ride the public bus system and started going to this program for people who didn't have their high school diploma or GED but had aged out of the system. If I wasn't being bullied, I usually thrived in school. At this place, people came because they wanted too, not because they were forced by the government. The teachers were nice too. Some of my public school teachers were nice, but not very many of them.

There was one dude at this alternative school I wasn't crazy about but he wasn't nasty like my public school teachers. But anyway, I thrived at this place. I was only there for a few months because I already had a lot of credits from being home-schooled. I didn't think I would make it but I stuck with it and graduated. It also taught me I could stick with things and even if they were hard, I could get through them.


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Edna3362
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11 Jul 2019, 12:13 am

On K to 10 system. The subjects and teachers are not the problem I had back then.


1st to 2nd = Hell. Because of various reasons from bad timings like puberty to nasty teenagers. To the point of burning out and quitting school for a while.

3rd to 4th = Heaven. :lol: Because I don't have to speak or know anyone. Don't have to fit in, don't have to be bugged off because most of which would rather leave me alone. Some would approach me mainly because it was necessary and because I was either making them curious or just being harmless.


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aspieprincess123
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13 Jul 2019, 3:36 am

I didn't like secondary school.

Most girls thought I was weird so only had a couple of friends and even then I felt I was on a different level as they cared more about boys and make up and I was more worried about books and my interests.

Cause I had big boobs and also cause I didn't like bras much I used to go braless and the boys would call me names like "saggy tits" "miss pointy" and other names as my nipples would often show though after a while I started to put tape over them.

After a while I went back to wearing bras cause I once had a lad twist my nipple which really hurt and in PE a lad lifted my top up exposing my breasts though the lad got expelled from the school cause of the incident I generally then just retreated socially. Though my naive nature at the time made me give up my virginity to a lad in a stupid effort to fit in.

My partner on the other hand had it easy though school though he was in a special needs school but was bored as he found the work way too easy and acted out a bit.



huimaa
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13 Jul 2019, 4:02 am

Quite good at school. Socially weird and isolated. Girls suck at that age.