something my mother told me about being with group of people

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28 Jan 2007, 8:31 pm

My mother told me if I'm with a group of people and if I stay with them and not leave, I will see how much their converstaions change from one topic to another and I will also learn something about them when I hear them talk and they will eventually ask me questions. Sge also told me it isn't that hard and it gets easier and easier as you stay with groups of people. She told me this two nights ago because I always leave when people start talking about something that doesn't interest me and when I'm done eating I leave and it's so rude and she told me if I stayed at the table at my partner's grandparents, I would have learned more about his family and they would have learned more about me because they would have started to eventually talk to me by asking about me. Is this why we have poor social skills because we find converstaions boring and we never want to stay at the table because we always want to do our own thing? What do you guys think? My mother made this all sound easy and Idecided something I should try and I would become more NT.



Flagg
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28 Jan 2007, 8:33 pm

likedcalico wrote:
My mother told me if I'm with a group of people and if I stay with them and not leave, I will see how much their converstaions change from one topic to another and I will also learn something about them when I hear them talk and they will eventually ask me questions. Sge also told me it isn't that hard and it gets easier and easier as you stay with groups of people. She told me this two nights ago because I always leave when people start talking about something that doesn't interest me and when I'm done eating I leave and it's so rude and she told me if I stayed at the table at my partner's grandparents, I would have learned more about his family and they would have learned more about me because they would have started to eventually talk to me by asking about me. Is this why we have poor social skills because we find converstaions boring and we never want to stay at the table because we always want to do our own thing? What do you guys think? My mother made this all sound easy and Idecided something I should try and I would become more NT.


Just act enough like them to mix in.

But otherwise, sounds like a plan.



Laura
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28 Jan 2007, 8:59 pm

Acting NT can be fun so give it a go.


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Droopy
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28 Jan 2007, 9:44 pm

Well, if I leave the table it's because I feel terribly awkward and uncomfortable, not because I'm bored. I don't like it when people start asking my questions about me because I'm so worried I'll screw up, especially if it was my grandparents. They're gone now but I was always worried I'd say the wrong things to them.

I'm really bad at small talk and always have been but not as bad as I use to be. I'm 42 no and I'd say where I'm at now with it is probably as good as it's going to get. So, if I'm at the table I don't leave because it's rude and not socially acceptable. However, I don't say much but if they ask me questions, I answer; I just don't give essay answers like I do when I write.



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29 Jan 2007, 12:35 am

I've found that works, although it can get excrutiatingly boring.