lamest pickup lines

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--- Quagmire, (Family Guy).

How do I know this?

My brother got slapped for saying that to a girl.

I'd say that pretty much any of Quagmire's lines is a no-go in my book, even though I'm a girl...

Dude... you're so hot that if you were an Xbox 360 then you'd totally have the four red rings of death.

"I want to text you something really sexy, but too bad I don't fit in your phone" "Do you believe in casual text?" "I believe in flirting because I have a strong heart" "Excuse me, but I'm new in town could I have directions to your place? " Wanna get some pizza and kiss? No? You don't like pizza? " "Do you believe in love at first sight? Or do I have to walk by again? " " Wouldn't we look cute on a wedding cake together? " Can I have directions... To your heart?" "Hi, I'm a thief here to steal your heart!" "Hey, wanna know what I heard about you? Kiss me and I'll tell you" "They say good looks can kill, so please don't look at me.... I don't want you to die!" "If I told you you have an amazing body, would you hold that against me?" " Do your legs hurt from running in my dreams all nigh?" "My heart combination is L.O.V.E" "Kiss me if I'm wrong, but haven't we met before?" "I just bit my lip, would you kiss it better?""There's so much to say, but your eyes keep interrupting me" "They say love is blind, so how did you find me" "I feel great... I don't kiss badly either" -copy and paste all of it from the Internet-

http://www.funnyjunk.com/funny_pictures/2369630/Perverted/

Any of those lines ^^

Do you work for UPS because I saw you checking out my package.

"What a shame; me standing here with a month's pay in my pocket, a week off, and no girlfriend." (Said to no one in particular, and only just loud enough to be heard. Works every time!)

"Are you Lucky Charms? 'Cause you're magically delicious."
A boy in 7th grade told me that one.

"Does this handkerchief smell like chloroform to you?"

Do you wash your cloths with windex? because I can see myself in your pants

Do you believe in love at 1st site? or should I walk by again?

Cheesiest of the cheese: Man walks by a woman and does a double-take. Then he just stands there looking uncomfortable. If the woman says nothing, he just walks away. If they make eye contact, he quickly averts his eyes and shakes his head. When she confronts him for his behavior, he tells her that he thought she was someone else.

"But that's impossible", he says. "She's been gone for over a year ... <insert name of incurable illness here> ... You look just like her. I'm sorry, I won't bother you again."

Then he turns to leave.

I've seen this played out five times. One woman told him to effoff. Another woman just shrugged her shoulders and said, "Whatever". Three women left the club or bar with him.

I've never had the nerve to try it out.

I misread Ford as Fnord
And thought you were talking about Fnord
Omg

Wanna marry me? We have proper health care in my country. *eyebrow waggle*

Him: "Just curious, if a man offered you ten million dollars to 'sleep' with him, would you do it?"

Her: "For ten million dollars, I would do anything!"

Him: "I have only two hundred dollars. Would you 'sleep' with me tonight?"

Her: "Are you out of your mind? What kind of woman do you think I am?"

Him: "Madam, we have already established what kind of woman you are; now we're just negotiating the price!"

Do you mix concrete for a living, cuz you're making me hard.