dateless men,were not all lazy
08 Dec 2013, 8:27 pm
Think of it like a credit/loan application. Its the same process. If you have a history of stable income and responsible spending you will get it. Likewise, a woman would take into account the guy's stability (aka holding a job), responsibility and future prospects (aka, has he held the same job for 10 years and not moved up? is he always employed but changes jobs nonstop and cant get past minimum wage level?).
Let's be honest here... a woman has a LOT more to lose if her partner isn't financially stable because she's the one that bears children. Even if she has a well paid job, chances are she may not choose to marry the older-than-her man that's been flipping burgers after dropping out of high school and can't afford to pay his own rent so he lives with his parents no matter how much she loves him.
Also , the average girl in her 20-30s often have several suitors, why should she go for the jobless/care-less guy while there are others who might be as nice plus have those necessities?
This is, imo, really kind of critical and I think where a lot of posters/commenters tend to miss the point.
It's not just about whether you want a gf / wife / LTR. It's also about what you have to offer that person ... and also whether what you have to offer is anything that person wants.
It's ... kind of scary to me how much and how frequently that's missed by AS peeps who tend to boast about their ability to think "logically".
(Those people are actually thinking in a linear fashion, but not necessarily logically. But that's a whole other discussion, and I don't mean to drift off the main topic.)
Shatbat
Veteran
Joined: 19 Feb 2012
Age: 31
Gender: Male
Posts: 5,791
Location: Where two great rivers meet
10 Dec 2013, 12:11 am
Stumbled upon this thread and it intrigued me. I struggle with self improvement because I am just slow at progressing forward in life besides getting older. I have that down pat. I have pushed myself harder to make more eye contact, be funny, keep a conversation going, etc. I have improved and notice that I am better, but that really means nothing.
Reading about the golden 3 things that women want, I understand them but it's tough. Car, House, job. I have 2 of the 3 things with no problem. Cars, being a car guy my whole life I have multiple wether it's for fun or work. Jobwise, I started my own business with my brother 5 years ago so I work a lot. 40-80+ hours a week for 7 months out of the year, and maybe 20hrs a week in the winter months depending on snow. It all averages out. If I really wanted to I could get an apartment, but that is just a waste of time. I need to be near my equipment otherwise I lose a lot of time which equals to less money being made. I cannot take 3 vehicles, 2 car trailers, snow plows, mowers, tools, and everything else I have, so I need land which doesn't come cheap.
So I have 2 of the 3 things no problem, just one of the 2 is keeping me from that magical 3rd. Unfortunately, women that I have noticed don't want to hear an explination of why you don't have it, and they move on. What most don't realize is that running your own business costs a lot more than working for someone. For a decent living and maintaining a house and not having to live too stressful, you need probably 50k a year after (this does not include expenses) For me to get to this stage, my business really needs to do about 200k a year. I tell you its a struggle to get to 60k. The problem is that right off the bat my brother gets 50% of whatever is made. so if it's 100,000, then the government gets 30%+. So the total left is approx 70%, which my brother automatically gets 50% of that. So out of the original 100k, I would get 35k. Then the govt. takes at least 20% of what I made personally from the 35k. Then I have all the business, car, health insurances, equipment, etc. So basically I work my ass off and end up with absolutely nothing. Living at home I manage to have 0 debt, own absolutely everything, high credit score, and manage to put very little into saving every year. I work way more than almost anyone I know, and I can't come close the that magic 3rd piece that is a must have for women.
I could have been doing better flipping burgers and not going on my own. I fkd up in life with having social problems, AS on top of everything. I just don't see love in my lifetime because it's so rare to find someone who is not really concerned with financial and is more in it for love and is willing to work together. I see those type of personalities being almost extinct. I couldn't imagine if I had kids. I missed the time in my young life when everyone was experiencing love for the first time when you didn't need the car, house or job. Then I missed it when it was ok to just have a car, or a job. Now I have to have all 3 and I missed the boat. I feel like just giving up completely and just ignoring women and love because once they find these things out about me, they will just leave. I am not a lazy person by any means, I just don't get compensated anywhere near what I should for the amount I do. And it annoys the hell out of me when customers ask if I am married, or have a girlfriend. I try but life just doesn't come easy for me, I keep on truckin though. I think I went off topic but I am not good at putting thoughts into words.
11 Dec 2013, 2:53 pm
Speak for yourself! I have pretty high standards when it comes to dating/relationships!
I get the feeling you have something against NTs. Most NTs I know are lovely human beings who accept me as I am and are my friends.
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15 Dec 2013, 5:07 pm
Reading about the golden 3 things that women want, I understand them but it's tough. Car, House, job. I have 2 of the 3 things with no problem. Cars, being a car guy my whole life I have multiple wether it's for fun or work. Jobwise, I started my own business with my brother 5 years ago so I work a lot. 40-80+ hours a week for 7 months out of the year, and maybe 20hrs a week in the winter months depending on snow. It all averages out. If I really wanted to I could get an apartment, but that is just a waste of time. I need to be near my equipment otherwise I lose a lot of time which equals to less money being made. I cannot take 3 vehicles, 2 car trailers, snow plows, mowers, tools, and everything else I have, so I need land which doesn't come cheap.
So I have 2 of the 3 things no problem, just one of the 2 is keeping me from that magical 3rd. Unfortunately, women that I have noticed don't want to hear an explination of why you don't have it, and they move on. What most don't realize is that running your own business costs a lot more than working for someone. For a decent living and maintaining a house and not having to live too stressful, you need probably 50k a year after (this does not include expenses) For me to get to this stage, my business really needs to do about 200k a year. I tell you its a struggle to get to 60k. The problem is that right off the bat my brother gets 50% of whatever is made. so if it's 100,000, then the government gets 30%+. So the total left is approx 70%, which my brother automatically gets 50% of that. So out of the original 100k, I would get 35k. Then the govt. takes at least 20% of what I made personally from the 35k. Then I have all the business, car, health insurances, equipment, etc. So basically I work my ass off and end up with absolutely nothing. Living at home I manage to have 0 debt, own absolutely everything, high credit score, and manage to put very little into saving every year. I work way more than almost anyone I know, and I can't come close the that magic 3rd piece that is a must have for women.
I could have been doing better flipping burgers and not going on my own. I fkd up in life with having social problems, AS on top of everything. I just don't see love in my lifetime because it's so rare to find someone who is not really concerned with financial and is more in it for love and is willing to work together. I see those type of personalities being almost extinct. I couldn't imagine if I had kids. I missed the time in my young life when everyone was experiencing love for the first time when you didn't need the car, house or job. Then I missed it when it was ok to just have a car, or a job. Now I have to have all 3 and I missed the boat. I feel like just giving up completely and just ignoring women and love because once they find these things out about me, they will just leave. I am not a lazy person by any means, I just don't get compensated anywhere near what I should for the amount I do. And it annoys the hell out of me when customers ask if I am married, or have a girlfriend. I try but life just doesn't come easy for me, I keep on truckin though. I think I went off topic but I am not good at putting thoughts into words.
Wow man I read this and just shook my head especially at the part when you explained those types of love relationships are extinct. I stress it a lot on just working together as a couple but it doesn't work that way. Its just how it is with some women not all; but like you said they are rare to find. You don't have these things--they don't wanna hear it. Same story to me. I usually lie about my job status. I am in an ultra-conservative area. And those who are young and receive government assistance get looked down upon as lazy and check-to-check livers.
They hear I am roommating but that is not really enough. You need your "own spot". Then I don't have a car (I don't really need one), they dart. Yeah I'm cool and funny and all. But when it comes down to it I am not relationship material. I heard stories from my grandparents and elder aunts and uncles all the time about how dating was. It was less of a battlefield back then.
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Wafflemarine
Pileated woodpecker
Joined: 31 Aug 2013
Age: 35
Gender: Male
Posts: 182
Location: Minnesota, Eagan
16 Dec 2013, 11:50 am
Reading about the golden 3 things that women want, I understand them but it's tough. Car, House, job. I have 2 of the 3 things with no problem. Cars, being a car guy my whole life I have multiple wether it's for fun or work. Jobwise, I started my own business with my brother 5 years ago so I work a lot. 40-80+ hours a week for 7 months out of the year, and maybe 20hrs a week in the winter months depending on snow. It all averages out. If I really wanted to I could get an apartment, but that is just a waste of time. I need to be near my equipment otherwise I lose a lot of time which equals to less money being made. I cannot take 3 vehicles, 2 car trailers, snow plows, mowers, tools, and everything else I have, so I need land which doesn't come cheap.
So I have 2 of the 3 things no problem, just one of the 2 is keeping me from that magical 3rd. Unfortunately, women that I have noticed don't want to hear an explination of why you don't have it, and they move on. What most don't realize is that running your own business costs a lot more than working for someone. For a decent living and maintaining a house and not having to live too stressful, you need probably 50k a year after (this does not include expenses) For me to get to this stage, my business really needs to do about 200k a year. I tell you its a struggle to get to 60k. The problem is that right off the bat my brother gets 50% of whatever is made. so if it's 100,000, then the government gets 30%+. So the total left is approx 70%, which my brother automatically gets 50% of that. So out of the original 100k, I would get 35k. Then the govt. takes at least 20% of what I made personally from the 35k. Then I have all the business, car, health insurances, equipment, etc. So basically I work my ass off and end up with absolutely nothing. Living at home I manage to have 0 debt, own absolutely everything, high credit score, and manage to put very little into saving every year. I work way more than almost anyone I know, and I can't come close the that magic 3rd piece that is a must have for women.
I could have been doing better flipping burgers and not going on my own. I fkd up in life with having social problems, AS on top of everything. I just don't see love in my lifetime because it's so rare to find someone who is not really concerned with financial and is more in it for love and is willing to work together. I see those type of personalities being almost extinct. I couldn't imagine if I had kids. I missed the time in my young life when everyone was experiencing love for the first time when you didn't need the car, house or job. Then I missed it when it was ok to just have a car, or a job. Now I have to have all 3 and I missed the boat. I feel like just giving up completely and just ignoring women and love because once they find these things out about me, they will just leave. I am not a lazy person by any means, I just don't get compensated anywhere near what I should for the amount I do. And it annoys the hell out of me when customers ask if I am married, or have a girlfriend. I try but life just doesn't come easy for me, I keep on truckin though. I think I went off topic but I am not good at putting thoughts into words.
Some people are just plain stupid if they can't grasp this. Any women who gives you are a hard time or fails to see the monumental effort this takes just tell them to f**k off. Not that you should ever have to discuss your financial life to anyone besides in the most simple terms. On the house part explain that it is not financial viable to live alone
You are doing better then the vast majority of people not sure how old you are but if you are even in your late 20s you would be hard pressed not to date below your level you are basically doing the equivalent of a 19 an hour job full time after all taxes are done. Not an easy thing to get to even unless you got lucky after college.
I am in the same situation I got plans down and in under a year I do plan on starting my career and improving that. The money and advancing my life part comes easy to me but that will make it harder because the average person can't keep up unless they rack up the debt to look better then they really are doing. Again if they lack the maturity to see this then they are not on your level.
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