Dominating the conversation and serious medical conditions

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Summer_Twilight
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12 Oct 2013, 7:40 pm

Hi:

I have a tendency to talk a lot and dominate the conversation which I am mostly unaware of since I often get caught up in things. I also know that I am getting better at not doing that as I grow older.

Due to dominating the conversation, there are times where someone will have a serious medical condition and other serious situations which can trigger stress.

As a result, I often get turned away by people who are having these conditions due to being told that I talk too much and worries of their stress levels going up.

Anyway, how to do I catch myself before doing lots of talking? What is a good way to practice not domination the conversation so that I can be trusted for stressful situations?



kdm1984
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14 Oct 2013, 10:53 pm

Are there other activities besides talking which you can involve yourself in with these types of situations? I understand some social situations make talking rather unavoidable, but if you are at your job, or you are doing a leisure activity, perhaps you can just focus more on the task at hand than social chit chat. Or perhaps you could bring someone who knows you well to give you some kind of sign or indicator that you need to talk less?

Those are a couple of alternatives that came to mind. I don't know what types of social situations you find yourself in where you are dealing with this populace, so apologies if these don't really fit.



hurtloam
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17 Oct 2013, 3:52 pm

I'm sorry that this is causing a problem for you. I am not in good health and I have a very talkative friend who I find very tiring to be around. I was supposed to see her today, but had to cancel because I am not up to it. I know she has a good heart and means well, so I don't hold it against her. And I am sure that people know you mean well too.

What tires me isn't that she is saying too much, it's that I can't follow what she is saying because I'm so tired. It's not really her fault. I'm just too tired to concentrate and keep track.

On the other hand. I am far too quiet and people find me difficult to talk to. So it is about getting the right balance.

My sister is always telling me to ask people questions about themselves and let them talk which is good advice. The problem is that I never can think of anything to ask them. But why don't you think of some of these people that you want to talk to and write down some questions that you could ask them next time you see them. But be careful not to interrigate them. Just one or two questions will do.

One of my fallback questions with people I don't know so well is, "have you lived here all your life." I said that to someone a couple of weeks ago and she started telling me about all her travels around the world which was a surprise as I thought she had lived in this town all her life.



Who_Am_I
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17 Oct 2013, 9:45 pm

Not to be offensive, but as an introvert I've always had trouble seeing what's difficult about closing your mouth and not letting any sounds out of it.


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