Aspergers question - how do you explain Aspergers on a date

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Heitor
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 15 Nov 2015
Age: 35
Posts: 1
Location: Olímpia

15 Nov 2015, 10:26 am

Hello everyone.

I had a gf for 2 years, and i have discovered that i had some traces of asperger in the second year, we had some comunucation problems so i explained to her that it was a condition and she was ok with it. Dont let your fellings get over you in a relationship(cause you probably cant handle it better than the normal specter of people and they will think your crazy) , be rational , just dont talk about it(not in the beggining), dont be jealous or possessive (for both sex), try allways to be relaxed , if you want to work on your body language read the book of the five rings(the water chapter was quite good for me ).
Allways remember it is not a Decease, desorder or any **** they say about it, its a gift you have to see the world in a different perspective.
People must love you for who you are, if dont, there are other 7 billions(and growing) on this planet , and i hope more in the universe =D
tip: talk some crazy ideas that you have with a friend with no asperger and tell him to tell you the good ones, then you write those ideas and talk with your date.(just dont be sistematic and let the date put ideas in the conversation too!I know that you know a lot, but let other people think they know too, they must fell confortable!)
I hope I have helped



jcosmo
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

Joined: 4 Sep 2015
Age: 37
Posts: 21

14 Dec 2015, 8:02 pm

The first time I told anyone, it was my girlfriend of 3 years after a psychologist told me I probably had AS (I was 19 and she was 18). We got married when I was 23 and divorced when I was 26 or 27. The 2nd time I told anyone was when I moved to another city and found a play partner. He was sending me text messages every morning, evening, and throughout the day - more text messages in 1 day than I was used to getting in 2 weeks! I told him I didn't understand why he was doing that (it didn't seem like a normal thing to do) and explained AS at that time, since it seemed like a question most NTs wouldn't have to ask. (Half a year later, I saw another psychologist and got an official ASD diagnosis.)



joshskuxx
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker
Yellow-bellied Woodpecker

Joined: 7 Nov 2015
Gender: Male
Posts: 60
Location: Brisbane,Australia

14 Dec 2015, 9:57 pm

dont tell her about it, especially early in the dating period/relationship, otherwise she,ll probably start thinking that you're defective/ret*d and leave (if shes like most neurotypicals, youll automatically be deemed undesirable). Once youve been in a relationship long enough you can probably tell her (dont wait to long to tell her though or she might get angry at you for not telling her earlier in the relationship)