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devochka
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19 Oct 2013, 2:28 pm

I have this thing of feeling unwanted and abandoned by people because I struggle so hard to make friends and feel like I am all alone a lot of the time. In the morning, when I feel this way, it's hard to get up and do anything at all. I know that most people call this depression, and you are supposed to create a schedule for yourself to do things. This doesn't work for me all that well. In the morning, I don't even always remember what I wanted to do. All I know is my body (and mind) don't want to do anything because what the point of being alive if no one cares. Does anyone know how to deal with this?



doofy
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19 Oct 2013, 2:56 pm

Sounds like depression to me. And there are no guaranteed "supposed to" strategies that will necessarily work, no matter what the platitude pushers might say.

What drugs you tried?



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19 Oct 2013, 3:14 pm

Depression is an AWFUL emotion, even more worse than anxiety - and anxiety is bad enough. I know depression and anxiety can go hand-in-hand with each other, but they still can be separate feelings.

Anxiety = usually feeling nervous, worried, avoidant, sensitive, and timid. To me, anxiety is having frightful thoughts about the future, more than the present. Some things from the present do make me anxious though, but I manage to nervously get through it without too much fuss, whether it turns out worse or better than I expected. By ''sensitive'', I mean can easily cry, like when being told off or something.

Depression = usually feeling worthless, lonely, guilty, jealous, angry, and desperate. To me, depression is having morbid thoughts about the past and the present. I feel angry about a lot of things I said and done in the past, and what other people have said and done to me in the past, and how it affects my state of mind today. And depression can come from feelings of isolation and worthless. This leads to self-pity.

Yep, depression is an awful emotion to have, and I especially find it harder to motivate myself in the mornings - unless I haven't really got to go anywhere. I am thinking of trying to find a job for afternoons and/or evenings, because funnily enough, that's when I feel a bit more motivated. I don't know if my thought-up methods would be compatible to you or not, depending on your circumstances, but having mornings to yourself where you can do things are your leisure could help. If you are too frightened to take meds because of the side effects then I understand because that's what I'm frightened off too. I really hate depression. Why do humans have to feel this soul-destroying emotion? It can become so afflicting in ways people don't understand if they have never suffered depression.


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19 Oct 2013, 3:30 pm

devochka wrote:
I have this thing of feeling unwanted and abandoned by people because I struggle so hard to make friends and feel like I am all alone a lot of the time. In the morning, when I feel this way, it's hard to get up and do anything at all. I know that most people call this depression, and you are supposed to create a schedule for yourself to do things. This doesn't work for me all that well. In the morning, I don't even always remember what I wanted to do. All I know is my body (and mind) don't want to do anything because what the point of being alive if no one cares. Does anyone know how to deal with this?


I ride around on buses all day.

1 I like the sensation of movement..it is very relaxing

2 There is some beautiful countryside and scenic coastal areas to view

3 I live a bus ride away from the coast so can jump off the bus and go meditate/sit by the sea

4 I have a gym membership as I'd like to take up weight lifting, I can visit any one of 3 gyms in the Norfolk area...i go to the one I feel most like traveling on the bus to.

5 I have noticed that the driver number and bus number are printed on my ticket when I buy them. For some reason I will never understand it amuses me to see how many times I have ridden the same bus or been driven by the same driver and so on.

Takes my mind off my loneliness.

I have no friends/family etc and I try to socialise but it never seems to amount to more than the occasional passing chat. I have been trying to make a friend for weeks and I have tried to chat with lots of people but it has not worked :'(



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19 Oct 2013, 3:34 pm

Joe90 wrote:
Why do humans have to feel this soul-destroying emotion? It can become so afflicting in ways people don't understand if they have never suffered depression.

I never define depression as an emotion. I define it as an illness - right up there with the best of them.

And yes - no one who has not been there has the remotest clue what it is like. And even those who have been there can forget.

So we hear "strategies" like exercise, meditation, sunlight, vit D, routines, hobbies. As if we are dim. As if we choose imprisonment over freedom.



bumble
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19 Oct 2013, 3:36 pm

Either that or i stay in bed watching shark movies and documetaries all day. I love shark related stuff.



doofy
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19 Oct 2013, 3:37 pm

bumble wrote:
Either that or i stay in bed watching shark movies and documetaries all day. I love shark related stuff.

Sharknado? :D



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19 Oct 2013, 3:42 pm

doofy wrote:
Joe90 wrote:
Why do humans have to feel this soul-destroying emotion? It can become so afflicting in ways people don't understand if they have never suffered depression.

I never define depression as an emotion. I define it as an illness - right up there with the best of them.

And yes - no one who has not been there has the remotest clue what it is like. And even those who have been there can forget.

So we hear "strategies" like exercise, meditation, sunlight, vit D, routines, hobbies. As if we are dim. As if we choose imprisonment over freedom.


Depression and genuine loneliness are not the same thing.

What do people expect a person to feel when they cannot make friends even though they have tried relentlessly, have no family, no partner, no visitors....no one would even know if they died until the strange smell started coming out of their house.

A depressed person will feel lonely even when they have loved ones but a person who is truly alone and craves companionship they cannot find is not clinically depressed, they have a very real reason to feel painfully sad!

What is the point of anything when there is no one....

I may have trouble making friend and I may tire quickly when making social chit chat (I find it difficult it takes a lot of energy) but that does not mean I want to be alone 24 hours a day with no bonds in my life and no one to love or love me back too....

I think the OP is lonely not clinically depressed and I'd avoid the medication...it won't help with that kind of thing. They need help finding a social network.



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19 Oct 2013, 3:43 pm

doofy wrote:
bumble wrote:
Either that or i stay in bed watching shark movies and documetaries all day. I love shark related stuff.

Sharknado? :D


I have my eye on that at amazon but I have not seen the movie yet.

I have Dark Tide with Halle Berry for tonight and ghost shark on preoder...:D



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19 Oct 2013, 3:53 pm

bumble wrote:
doofy wrote:
bumble wrote:
Either that or i stay in bed watching shark movies and documetaries all day. I love shark related stuff.

Sharknado? :D


I have my eye on that at amazon but I have not seen the movie yet.

There's a good compilation of scenes on youtube. *giggle*



doofy
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19 Oct 2013, 4:01 pm

bumble wrote:
Depression and genuine loneliness are not the same thing.

Sure - I am never more alone than in company.

bumble wrote:
I think the OP is lonely not clinically depressed and I'd avoid the medication...it won't help with that kind of thing. They need help finding a social network.

That's for the OP to determine and comment upon. Me? I don't hear loneliness - I hear crippling isolation and absence of motivation. That says "depression" to me.



devochka
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19 Oct 2013, 4:04 pm

Sorry, what's OP? I have a lot of problems deciphering acronyms because there are so many today.



doofy
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19 Oct 2013, 4:08 pm

OP = original poster or original post. Depends on context.



devochka
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19 Oct 2013, 4:16 pm

Thanks



Joe90
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19 Oct 2013, 4:28 pm

Loneliness can cause depression. It has for me. And yes, depression can be a mental illness. My depression comes in bouts, and last week I had a terrible attack of depression. Nothing in particular started it off, it just came upon me and I began feeling worthless and even suicidal, and I just wanted to quit work and lie in bed getting myself lost in films all day every day, and maybe going out and socialising whenever I feel like it. But I knew that if I did that, I would just be letting myself down.

Depression is making me not want to go to work, though. I am not being lazy. I just don't feel comfortable with the idea of having to be somewhere, and being told when to eat and so on. I'd sooner do voluntary work, even 5 or 6 days of the week, but I can't because I need to earn money, so I am trying my hardest to stick at my job, until I can find another job what I really want to do.

Special interests help an awful lot with depression. Doing things what you enjoy and makes you happy is good for anyone who suffer with depression, so it is especially ideal for Aspies who suffer with depression. My special interest/enjoyment is buses, and I know it may sound crazy, but I really want to work somewhere where I need to get a bus to. I like getting buses, so it might motivate me more to come to work. I am familiar with a lot of the drivers and most of them are friendly, and I like seeing which driver will be driving it today and sometimes I have a little chat with them before I get off. To other people that sounds daft, but to me it's what I like. The job I'm in now is local, which is good, but I want to get a bus to a job. I'm sorry, I just do. It's the only thing that might help with my depression, without having to go on meds.


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19 Oct 2013, 4:29 pm

devochka wrote:
Thanks

YW :D