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SirReality
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20 Oct 2013, 8:12 pm

I've read on several sites that a feeling of androgyny is common among Aspergian women.
Does this appertain to anyone? Not feeling quite feminine yet not masculine?



gretchyn
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21 Oct 2013, 2:10 am

Absolutely true with me. "Not quite feminine and not quite masculine" just about covers it. :)



yellowtamarin
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21 Oct 2013, 2:22 am

Indeed.



y-pod
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22 Oct 2013, 6:18 am

I think like a guy and look all woman. Does that count? :) Back when I was underweight I sometimes wore boy's clothes, can't do that any more.


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SirReality
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22 Oct 2013, 10:52 am

Certainly it counts--I consider my appearance rather feminine. Casual-ish, but more or less feminine.

I think I realize my own "androgynous" thinking was that the value system of an aspergian woman is a bit different than those of neurotypical women--and I am not placing a higher or lower value system on either category, they're just seemingly different.

I don't think I have an all-guy brain either, because I clearly have priorities that appertain to women more than they do to men, yet the things I base my decisions around or how I analyze and proceed with conversations I feel are more on the masculine side of things. I get along just fine with women, but I think the reason I relate more to men is because the way men talk to women seems to be more objective, which is how I contribute to conversations anyway. Women have a more of an emotion-based approach (NT and AS women--AS women tend to talk about the actions that come from these feelings rather than the feelings themselves), and so maybe that's why conversations feel a bit contrived?

That's just an hypothesis, howeve, based on personal experience.



stabilator
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24 Oct 2013, 10:05 pm

I am androgynous in dress and personality.



MjrMajorMajor
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24 Oct 2013, 10:16 pm

I see myself as feminine, but perhaps not always expressed in a traditional manner. Instead of dividing qualities into masculine/feminine categories, I prefer to widen my definition of femininity.



stabilator
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24 Oct 2013, 10:28 pm

MjrMajorMajor wrote:
I see myself as feminine, but perhaps not always expressed in a traditional manner. Instead of dividing qualities into masculine/feminine categories, I prefer to widen my definition of femininity.


I think you are right regarding the definition of femininity. Society likes to define what it thinks femininity should be like, and they seem tunnel visioned on focusing on the familiar binary extremes. Maybe an aspie female that does not think in that box will instead express her femininity her own way.



SirReality
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24 Oct 2013, 10:58 pm

I like that: widening the definition of femininity. Perhaps I've been so conditioned myself that to think because I do not express clear, traditional feminine traits then I must not be "completely feminine."



Yayoi
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25 Oct 2013, 4:04 am

This is me through and through. I don't even identify as a "woman" (mostly drop by here to see if anyone else hates their female body as much as I do) - the term, to me, describes someone who is happy with their gender roles and identity as defined by society, and someone who's happy with their body and desires to have sex appeal, none of which describe me, and it also annoys me that kids are told "you can be anything you want!" but are forced to fit one or two labels - "man" or "woman" - once they hit a certain age.


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25 Oct 2013, 4:06 am

I don't even know what it means to "feel like a woman" or "feel like a man".


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Yuzu
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26 Oct 2013, 4:03 am

Who_Am_I wrote:
I don't even know what it means to "feel like a woman" or "feel like a man".


Neither do I. And I never cared whether how I feel and think is feminine or masculine.



babybird
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26 Oct 2013, 10:48 am

Other people have described my personality and the way I look as androgynous.

I had to look it up the first time I heard it.



ArmyHippieChick
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20 Jul 2014, 4:11 pm

SirReality wrote:
I've read on several sites that a feeling of androgyny is common among Aspergian women.
Does this appertain to anyone? Not feeling quite feminine yet not masculine?


I am feminine, in that I have breasts, a vagina, and my hair is past my waist. Other than that, not so much. My thought patterns, likes, interests, and even occupation are considered more masculine. :wink:


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20 Jul 2014, 4:26 pm

I'm also like that.
I'm a woman physically (<looks down at her breasts, "A" cup>... well, come people would argue about that :lol: ) and I consider myself a woman but thats where my femininity ends. I think like a man, I find stereotypically male activities fun, I never wear skirts or dresses (true, I sleep in a nightshirt that you might consider a kind of dress - but in my opinion males also look great in this kind of pyjamas and I wonder why most of them is afraid of sleeping like that) and I am even attracted to woman (I don't mind being with a man if he falls in me but on my own I fall into womans).



Gwen1953
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21 Jul 2014, 11:42 am

Like Sir Reality, I find men easier to converse with because there seems to be less pitfalls like being misunderstood, causing offense etc. Having said that, I find older women don't take offense so readily.
I look like a woman but always wear jeans or leggings, never skirts or dresses which are pointless to me. I can't bear the feel of tights (pantyhose).