Too stressed living with people, too lonely living alone

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I don't know what to do. I'm starting to get horribly stressed living with people. I have a very demanding family what keep coming round at the most awkward times, like when we're cooking the dinner, and it gets very hectic. It sometimes causes me to become overwhelmed and I can't enjoy any privacy. I've been wearing earplugs nonstop lately, and they are good but my ears are getting painfully sore, and I get bored keep listening to music all the time with headphones. And I work at week-ends, which I hate anyway, and when I come home my brother and his cousins and friends are all there, and I obviously can't tell them to go away because that won't be fair. So I've just got to put up with it.

I am looking into moving out, but moving out is a big change and I've got to make sure I know what I want. But then that will mean I will be lonely, as I've had so many years of being able to talk to people in my house about my feelings and things, which always helps. I don't have many friends, and the friends I do have live a bus ride away. I could try to look for a place nearer my friends, as I know my friends aren't likely to come and sit round mine at awkward times. Anyway I only see one friend at a time because they don't all know each other.

If I do socialise, I prefer to socialise in the day, and be able to have time to myself at night without hearing any noise from other people. So for a person with high anxiety levels and prone to feeling agitated with noise and activity of people, I believe living on my own will be the best bet, despite how lonely I might feel. At least it will be my home so things will be more in my control, which is what I want - and need. I can't have no control over what happens when I'm living under the same roof as three other people and a noisy cat. For those of you that live on your own, is this why you wanted to move out?

My pastor made a point that I thought was profound a couple of weeks ago, he said that living alone and being lonely are two different things, and he then noted his outgoing life, he lives alone but he's constantly engaging in activities with other people throughout daily life.

Granted you will be lonely if all you did was stay inside and didn't engage with other people, but just make sure that doesn't happen and you should be alright. You're going to have the best of both worlds if you can achieve a nice balance between alone time and socializing...but it is a balancing act, it will be very easy for it to tip the other way when you're living alone but you have to take the initiative and make sure that doesn't happen by being outgoing and engaging other people.

Yes, that is exactly why I prefer to live alone. Humans are entirely too needy and require constant attention and self-affirming feedback and to quote Mick Jagger "I just don't have that much jam."

Be forewarned, however, that even living on your own there may be moments when you have little control over what happens to you. This past year, the apartment complex I live in underwent a huge government-subsidized "remodel" and completely against my will I was forced to dismantle my home, pack it all up in boxes by a specific date, so they could move me to a temporary unit while they redid my place.

First, they fell behind schedule and didn't move me when they said they would, so I had to live out of boxes in my own apartment for a month. Then they moved me to a different unit, with a completely different layout, in which I continued to live out of boxes for another three months, only to find out that they had no intention of moving me back to my original place, but had decided to play Musical Chairs with everybody and put us all back in different apartments. That's when I came unglued and had a hissy fit, threatened to sue and filed a discrimination complaint with the Federal Government. All this started in February and I am just now getting finally unpacked and resettled back in my original space. The entire year has been a nightmare, utterly beyond my control (and for this I'm paying rent?).

I feel I've aged ten years in the last nine months. Fortunately, things like this don't happen often, but sometimes the world is a crazy, overwhelming place no matter where you are.

This is why I prefer apartment living. I'm near other people, but not so near that I lose my independence and my solitude. If I feel I must reach out, there are people there, but if I want to be alone, I can be as well.

I don't think I would ever own a house alone though. That is too isolating. I like the feel of a communal space.

It's tough to find the balance isn't it of having your independence and space without having to endure isolation.
I found the best way to work around this was to have my own place but a brilliant support network of friends and family who not only came to see me but I'd also see them.
Not easy at first but it becomes routine

I hope you find a situation that suits you best Joe90.

In Houston apartments, people tend not to meet their neighbors. I've heard seeming non-spectrum people say they have never met their apartment neighbors.

Now that I'm staring homelessness in the face, it sure would be nice to live with someone. They could help with the rent while I get back to my feet.

I decided to try living on my own, as I'd spent most of my adult life sharing with at least two other housemates and I found it stressful. At the moment I actually live about 400km from my friends and family, and I don't feel lonely at all. I've lived this way since April. Approximately every three weeks I travel to my hometown and catch up with family and maybe a friend or two. This gives me my socialising fix and usually by the end of the visit (around three days) I'm looking forward to getting back to my solitude.

One important aspect that makes this situation work for me, though, is that I'm in a location I love. I live in the country, on the coast. I can go to the beach or the bush in my free time, which is an activity I really enjoy (more than hanging out with friends). I'm about to move back to the city soon, and even if I live alone again, I don't think I'll enjoy it as much because I don't enjoy the location.

Apart from one year when I rented a room out to a friend, Ive lived alone now since 1979
But its still not "alone" enough, I hear neighbours, cars and buses, men always digging up the road.
I will be able to retire in a few years then I will move to the woods in East Europe somewhere, get a bit of peace and quiet.
If I get lonely, I will go outside and find some frogs in a pond to watch, or listen to the wolves baying at the moon.
I can't wait!

Hey now, you're not going to be able to replace people with animals, god knows how many of us tried lol.

I understand you and hope you find a better place .

I moved out because I didn't want to live under my mother's rules any more.

I made this thread 2 and a half years ago.
The issue is solved now.

I share a house with other people, but they aren't always around. Some of the money I save by sharing a home I put in a separate savings account so I can stay in a cheap travel lodge nearby for a couple of days if I ever need alone time to recover. It would probably sound odd to most people, but a few days away in a hotel where other people clean, cook and fetch me stuff, where I can remain completely isolated if I want to, is a really good arrangement for me. It feels like a mini holiday and I come back much calmer. I tell everyone I'm 'staying at friends' so no one asks questions.

LOL....where are those cheap travel lodges in London?

The only thing that resembles "cheap" in London is the Youth Hostel.

Those days away to recharge sound wonderful - what a super idea! I live in a flat with just me and my son who is at school during the day Mon to Fri. It's pretty quiet here and I enjoy the time alone and the time when my son is here too. In my previous home I lived in a block which was renouned for being ultra social and I found that far too much. I used to go away camping to get some quiet but it's not as good as a travel lodge with food and cleaning on tap!