Do you get lonely?

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I feel pretty much the same as many posters above. I do prefer solitude quite often, yet I also feel a need for limited doses of social interaction. Like other posters have pointed out, not many people are able to appreciate the tender balance between the two, so I often end up alienating people and feeling all the more lonely for it. Go figure.

I do get lonely a lot. I do like time to myself, but it's a different type of loneliness that I get. It's more of an isolation type. I don't choose to be isolated. I try my hardest to fit in but sometimes fail and other times feel rejected, and that's what makes me feel lonely, not so much being on my own, if that makes sense.

Like at work when the girls are all talking about their night out and when they're going out again, and I feel completely left out. Nobody looks at me or bothers to ask me to come, or even bothers to ask if I like that sort of thing. OK clubbing isn't one of my top things but it would be nice to be asked to come out with a small crowd, and I would give it a go. I might enjoy it. But I'm so afraid to ask them myself, because of the fear of being rejected. I've often been told to ''stop following us'' when only trying to join in, that it becomes painfully off-putting.

The thing is, I am a social creature like everybody else and I WANT to socialise, but my social phobia holds me back, and I have social phobia because I have Asperger's and am too self-aware and conscious, and it all becomes such a big thing for me. No wonder I get so depressed and down a lot.

Sorry, I chose the first option. I meant to choose both.

Yes, this does happen to me. Not helping is that I live in an isolated area, and I wish I could leave the area for a big city.

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I really like having a few friends to relate to and do activities with, but I also need time to unwind from daily stress and the manditory interactions I am forced to deal with, and I also like alone time to think, study, or work on my projects and all my obsessive fun nerdy stuff that other people don't understand.

At times yes, but mostly I'm ok with isolation. I'm trying to learn more about why i avoid people and socializing, i think the main reason is an intense fear of rejection. but i think it shouldn't matter anymore. if people don't want to like me, or feel they don't need me, it's their loss, and i shouldn't feel like i've lost out a whole lot. if i can see it more that way then i think i'll appreciate what interactions i do have, and not feel alone when i'm not around anyone.

I'm kind of stuck in a paradox with this. There are times, especially during the weekend when I have some downtime, when I desperately want to be around other people and included in a group. I've gone to AA meetings a few times because there was just no other option. I used to drink a lot, but I haven't for months. I have a narrative I use whenever they want me to talk about myself, because the other people there are so addicted that they've been to jail over it.

On the other hand, I know that if I had friends or a relationship I would lose a lot of my free time, and I would have to devote a lot of energy to entertaining someone at all times so they would remain interested in me.

I've kind of accepted that I need to develop human connections regardless of the costs, but I haven't found anything yet.

I used to get lonely really badly before I was diagnosed. But then again I also had other problems as well. I still get lonely sometimes, however the feeling has gradually decreased as the years go by and I get better at learning how to navigate this crazy world in which I live.

Ever since the diagnosis I was too busy figuring out how to hold down a job and doing my best. I accomplished both of those goals. I don't get nearly as lonely as I used to ever since I started taking courses in human psychology and of course my major really helped me out understanding some things about human nature. I was a history major btw. I would watch hours and hours of standup comedy as an informal teaching tool on human nature. So that kind of soured my view towards humanity somewhat.

Now that I am in a learning process of how to make friends I find that I get less and less lonely. However I need activities to do at least twice a week.

I don't think social desire or disdain are strictly distinct. A person who is in a circumstance requiring social interaction (such as work or school) may be forced to socialise more than desired, leaving themselves with the impression of preferring solitude. Take that same person and place them in complete isolation and they may then experience feeling lonely. I believe that ASD people are social creatures, but the quantity and type of desired interaction varies.

If they're posting on a forum, and partaking in poles, especially that seek to clarify identity through comparison with others, that alone indicates an orientation toward social behaviour.

Both. While I crave my time alone and could not live without solitude, I also do need some contact with humans. I have no family or friends and truly am alone. That is loneliness, no one knowing if I am alive. Equally though I thrive on my own company and do not want that much contact with people. too complex for me.

Currently, I'm happiest with an average of an hour of face-time per day. Getting a week ahead or behind can be tough, but there's a limit to the loneliness, and none to the overstimulation. I'm more lonely for hugs than anything else.

Loneliness is the discordance between your expected and actual social interaction.
People are alone quite often and think nothing of it. Like going to the restroom for example. It is only when you expect not to be alone that you feel lonely.

I used to. I mean, there are times when I wish I had regular company, or I think about what it would be like to be in a relationship again (one that doesn't dramatically end), but overall, I quite enjoy the solitude. My room mate has Asperger's, too, but she's a bit worse than me, so sometimes I get very annoyed at her lack of consideration, or talking loudly to me about things that I have no response to. She's gone most of the day, so I have the place to myself. I do need socialisation, though, as a photographer and artist. Can't make money as a hermit.