Stupid Stuff People Say to Autistics

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"Grow up"
"Get over it"
"You're pathetic"

What I like about WP is that members do respond to each other. Yes, I know my hypothesis sounds counterintuitive, but nature often is. I can't lay out my entire trail of evidence and thought process here, obviously, and as a scientist (geologist) I always know that my ideas may be utterly wrong. But! as I began looking into human behavior and evolution, I found so many flaws in how evidence was interpreted that it was truly shocking. Note - I did not know that I was Aspie at the time; I had no mission to explain that situation. I'll make a couple of points and leave it at that for now. 1. We didn't evolve from primates, we are primates. 2. There is no proof that humans as a species are logical, reasonable, honest or compassionate. These are concepts created by humans and are easily manipulated to (falsely) demonstrate that we are either "good" or "bad." Millions of pages of philosophical writings have tried to pin down such ideas - they don't exist in nature. 3. Even if we could prove the above, there is no evidence that these are advanced qualities that will ensure human survival. 4. Evolution is driven by the environment; we may change our environment, but we then have to adapt to those changes. How are we doing so far? Very badly. Our "intelligence" may ensure our extinction and that of thousands of other species. 5. Violence: yes, physical force to ensure survival is essential in nature, but human use of violence is different in kind and degree. If after a battle, soldiers collected bodies as food, and distributed the meat to their community, we might see the killing as simple predatory behavior. (This may actually have been the case with early humans.)

The stupid thing that people ask me is "How did you find it?".
As an example when I'd been to the gym for the first time someone said "How did you find it?". My answer was "I found it by using google maps."

What they should have said is "What was it like at the gym, and did you enjoy it?".

Thankfully in my case I can interpret/desipher stuff like the above in most cases, and by "unpicking" what they said I usually see it in both the literal & other at the same time. Even so, it takes a lot of mental effort at times to work out what someone means rather than what they said.

I would say that enforcing a social hierarchy either contributes to survival or it doesn't. I doubt it's a neutral factor. The attributions of logic, etc. are cultural - human defined and created. These concepts exist in the mind. Diagnosis and labels are also manmade. They do not exist in nature. They are not facts. Culture and nature are not the same.

Enjoying the conversation!

To quote myself: "The brain does not create reality; it creates ideas about reality, most of which are incorrect."

The one that I find most offensive (and have been told the most) is that "everyone feels like that" Thankyou for dismissing every difficulty that I have ever had! I understand why people say this, thinking that it will make me feel "oh, that's a relief, I'm not alone" but it makes me feel more alone than ever because I know that no one understands.

Second is "you just have to change the way you think". Gee, thanks, I'll get right on to that!

We may be referring to different uses of the word logic: Formal logic, the philosophical system, is manmade. Used informally, logic is closer to "common sense" which indeed is derived from the everyday observation of nature. We can speculate on the future of our species, but neither you nor I will see the result. True bummer!

I can say that we are all subject to delusions: my father was an engineer (Aspie) and he assumed that everything he thought was logical, reasonable and absolutely correct. He was often quite irrational, and became very angry if one dared to point out the contradiction of being irrational about being logical!

It is good that you can distinguish between "what exists" and what humans think exists. Not many people can. Most truly believe that whatever is going on in their mind correlates 1:1 with reality. Drives me nuts!

Math - I accept that the universe is the unfolding of, or extension of, a few relatively simple equations. I'm not an abstract thinker and my facility with math is low. I was fine in school as long as I could "see" the math as patterns, structures and processes in geology. Frustrating.

Sometimes people who don't understand autism ask me why I'm doing a certain thing during sensory overload. Also, there are people who insist on hugging me during a meltdown, which makes things worse. Trying to tell me things are okay makes things worse too because I need my space during a meltdown.

Also, there was one person who thought that a chemical caused me to be autistic because of a false memory of my head being enlarged after possible exposure to that chemical. Also, she thought that wheat gluten causes my light sensitivity, but that was just her reading something on the internet and believing it without questioning it.

A few comments on the video:

"Hey, I heard that they think it might be geeks marrying geeks."
That's actually believable. Many geeky people have autistic traits, so they have a high chance of passing the genes onto their children. However, a better way to put that is "being the child of two geeks".

"Autistic people are so spiritual."
I'm spiritual, but that has nothing to do with my autism.

I can't believe how horrible and ignorant NT people can be, and that's when they're not trying to be a jerk on purpose!! !

I just "loved" all the "causes" of autism listed by such idiots and their "cures". And the "give me a hug" thing made my skin crawl.
AND thinking they know about autism from a handful of stupid TV shows and movies.

People like that are the cancer of the human race, and it NEEDS to stop!

Did this list ever makes its way into this thread?

http://www.autistichoya.com/2012/02/15- ... ay-to.html

I've had the "You must be very high-functioning" thing before. I didn't take it as an insult, but as a positive reflection on the social style I've managed to develop. I don't think it's fair to expect any given NT person to have great insight into your personal difficulties -- not least because most people with AS manage to develop hiding or masking techniques for these. And besides, the NT person who says this probably doesn't mean it in a patronising way. They are faced with the unexpected situation of dealing with someone with an invisible disability and their comments merely represent an aspect their spontaneous adjustment to a new situation.

Now that I think about it, my ex from college mentioned that she saw kids with autism more severe than mine. Didn't think much of it at the time since there was a ton of drama between us at that point.